Gnomes2

Gnomes I Have Known
"Suzie Butterby Bitluck"

"Bittersweet broken biscuits!" exclaimed Suzie. "Where are they? We'll never get everything done, at this rate."
Suzie had a humongous order, from the faerie palace, for Sweet Fruit Nibbles. They had to be delivered to the palace kitchen, before lunchtime tomorrow, but Suzie had run out of fruit for the filling.
"Where are they?" she fretted, pacing back and forth in her kitchen.
She had sent her entire staff out looking for fruit, it seemed like hours ago, and not one of them had returned yet.
"Oh dear, oh dear! This will be the first black mark for Butterby's." she said, almost in tears.

Suzie was the owner, and head chef, of Butterby's Bountiful Bakery. Her grandma, Mayrie, had started the business, then her mother, Cairnie, had taken over, and neither of them had ever received a black mark. Everyone in the faerie garden bought their baked goods from Butterby's. It was the best bakery in the mushroom village of Mouthsport. Truth be told, it was the only bakery in the village, but, be that as it may, it was a very fine bakery, and until now, it had nothing but satisfied customers.

Just then, Suzie's sister, Minnie, entered the bakery. "At last!" sighed Suzie, "What did you find?"
"Not a smidge of fruit no place." answered Minnie.
"What?" Suzie almost screamed, "What? What am I to do, without fruit?" she sputtered.
"Don't get yerself kerfuffled." said Minnie, "I'm sure one of the girls will find some."
Suzie started pacing, and wringing her hands. Things were not going well, at all.

A few minutes later, Milzie and Lizbie, the second and third of Suzie's four daughter's came hurrying in.
"There's, positively, nothing in any of the berry patches, Mam." said Milzie.
"We looked every place, where there was a place." Lizbie added.
At that moment, Suzie's oldest daughter, Mayzie, came in the door.
"Sorry, Mam." said Mayzie. "I didn't have any luck."

If you think Suzie was upset before, can you imagine how upset she was now? She paced the floor and sputtered, and wrung her hands. Her face was very red, and she fanned herself with her apron, creating little clouds of flour.
The others thought that she was going to explode. Suzie felt like she was going to faint.
It was a terrible, terrible moment.

Suddenly, Suzie began to cry. She didn't know what to do.
Even though she knew it wouldn't help, she just couldn't think of anything else to do, except cry.
Seeing their Mam in tears, made the three girls start to cry.
"Now buck up, all of yer." said Minnie. "Stop all this bubbling. It don't solve a thing."
But before you could say, "Butterby's Bountiful Bakery", Minnie was weeping too.

What a mess! What a disaster! There had never, ever, been so much frustration at Butterby's, and I don't think there had ever been so much noise.

Suzie's youngest daughter, Shelbie, came running into the bakery, looking panicked.
"What's wrong? What's happened? What's going on?" she yelled over the wails of the others.
Shelbie started crying, even though she didn't know why all the others were crying.
Seeing them in tears made her want to cry, and, so she did.
"Has somebody died?" sniffed Shelbie.
"No, no, child." comforted Suzie. "I'm being silly is all. Buck up everyone. This isn't helping us. We all look a sight, and the problem isn't being solved, so let's stop crying, and try to think of what we can do."

They all dried their eyes, and blew their noses, and tried to put smiles on their faces.

Suzie looked at Minnie, and said, "Remember how our mam used to say that, there is an answer for every question, a solution for every puzzle, an ending for every beginning, and that all you had to do, was use your brain to find any of them? Well, I'm thinking she was right, and with all our brains working on it, we should be able to figure this out."

"What, exactly, are we trying to figure out, Mam?" asked Shelbie.
"How to fill fruit nibbles without fruit." replied Suzie.
"Why do we want to do that?" Shelbie frowned, "They would taste awful."
"We don't want to do it, Sillyknickers. We have to do it." chided Lizbie.
"But, why?" asked Shelbie.
"Because we've no fruit." they all chorused .
"What about the fruit that Pap's bringing?" asked Shelbie.
Suzie's ears perked up like a bunny rabbit's, "What did yer say, lass?"

"Pap took me, and we went to every 'shroom in the village." said Shelbie. "Pap asked if they had any of your preserves left, that they could spare for an emergency. He told them you'd replace whatever they gave, and more, as soon as you could. He's right behind me, with a whole cart full."

Suzie's husband, Bertie, came in, with his arms full of preserves, and said, "Oi, can a groaning gnome get a hand with a heavy load?"

The girls all shrieked with laughter, and ran outside to help unload the cart.
"Yer a life saver, Bert." said Minnie as she passed him on her way out.
Suzie was in tears again, but they were happy tears. "I hope yer knows how much I loves yer." she said to Bertie.
"Most likely." said Bertie, giving her a hug, and kissing the tip of her nose, "But, when yer done here, a cuppa with a few of them nibbles, will convince me."

By: S.E.G. (Nanaborg)

Sam Snaggle

Sam sat in the mud puddle, with his legs stretched out in front of him. His behind was wet and cold, but his face felt like fire.

"Teehee," giggled the girls ,watching his embarrassment.

He couldn't think of any dignified way to get out of this situation, but he couldn't just sit here making a bigger spectacle of himself.
Gingerly, he put his hands down into the puddle, and pushed himself up onto his feet.
A soggy Sam stood there, dripping wet from head to toe, wishing the puddle was deep enough to swallow him up.
What would Mayzie think of him? This had torpedoed any chance he might have of getting a date with her.
The giggles seemed so loud, and he'd bet that Mayzie was probably laughing the loudest.
Staring at his toes, Sam slogged out of the puddle, and squished towards home. The giggles were still loud behind him, and his cheeks still burned.

"That will teach me to try showing off," he muttered to himself.

Sam had been on his way home, when he spied Mayzie Bitluck and her sisters working in their garden.
Sam thought Mayzie was the most beautiful gnome in the village, maybe even the world, and, she practically lived next door to him.
He had raised his nose in the air, trying to look taller, and had stuck out his chest, trying to show off his muscles, and had taken big strides, trying to look important......and had strode right into a slippery mud puddle flying, back over belly, whiz-bam flippety, and landing tiddley-whomp, flat on his back.

Sam and Mayzie were young gnomes who lived in the mushroom village of Mouthsport.
Mayzie lived at 34 Flywing Street, and Sam lived at number 38, with his parents, his younger twin brothers, Alec and Hamish, and their baby sister, Martee.
All of the Snaggle boys had their eyes on a particular Bitluck girl. Alec fancied Milzie, and Hamish had a crush on Lizbie.

"Merciful Marigolds!" exclaimed Lillia Snaggle, when she saw her son, "What happened to you?"

"Slipped in a puddle." grumbled Sam.

"I s'pose it didn't enter yer head ter go aound the puddle, then," said Lillia.

"Didn't see it." replied Sam.

"Didn't see something big enough to drown you?" asked Lillia, "Or is all this mess from you rollin' around in a wee drappie o' mud?"
Sam just hung his head. He couldn't explain it without making himself look like a fool.

"Go and get out of those wet things before you get the snuffles, or wrinkle up like a prune." said Lillia, "We'll get summat warm in yer when yer done."

Sam dripped his way to the bathroom, stripped off his soggy clothes, and stepped into the shower. The hot water felt good, and it took the chill out of him, but no amount of hot water could wash away his humiliation.
He wondered if his mam and pap would consider sending him to live with his gram. She lived way over on the other side of the faerie garden in the mushroom village of Grassglow.
Maybe he could avoid seeing Mayzie and her sisters, if he lived over there, but the thought of never seeing Mayzie again, was not a pleasant one.

"What a dumb dot! What a swozzle brain! What was I thinking of?" he chided himself.
Sam shut off the water and stepped out of the shower. He scrubbed the towel, roughly, over his body still angry with himself.

"Dumbledip! Twizzlepate! Doofle!" he couldn't think of a name stupid enough to describe how stupid he felt.
He put on his clean clothes, and headed into the kitchen, and............wanted to drop through the floor. Sitting at the the table was Mayzie talking with his mam.
He wondered if he could back out of there before they saw him but, just then, his mam looked up.

"'Bout time you got here. Thought I was goin' ter have ter warm this up fer you," said Lillia, placing a bowl of stew on the table, and excusing herself to attend to a customer in her candy shop.

Mayzie and Sam

"Hello Sam," said Mayzie in her sweet, beautiful voice, "I came to see if you were hurt."
Sam felt his cheeks getting warm, and quickly looked down at the floor.

"Nope," he muttered.
He sat down, putting his nose close to his bowl, trying not to look at her.
He wished he could disappear.

"Well, if you're okay,: said Mayzie, "I was wondering if you could come and help me pick berries for my mam this afternoon. I could pack a picnic supper for us."
Sam almost choked on his stew!

"I-um, I-um, I'd love to," he stuttered.
His face felt even hotter, and now his heart was racing, and his stomach was doing 'flutterby's'.
He sat straighter in his chair, and his chest puffed out a smidgen.

"Two o'clock, then?" asked Mayzie.

"Huh? Oh, yes. Fine. Wonderful," said Sam.

He escorted Mayzie to the door, and returned to finish his stew.
He had some trouble eating because he had such a wide, silly, grin on his face.

"Who'd have ever thought that mucking up in a puddle was the way to win the heart of a princess?" he asked himself, at the same time assuring himself that he would try never to use that approach ever again.