FOR BEING A LOSER
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Many arguers have seculated on online forums, quibbled in barrooms, and generally contested a certain major issue in the recent history of the Ultimate Fighting Championshiop (UFC). The issue is this: that Tito Ortiz has left the UFC. Why would he do this such a thing? Why now? Where will he go? What is to become of him? I will answer some of these questions in this exclusive scoop concerning the ways of the Light Heavy Weight Champ which has not been revealed to any other sites, sources, or people. Tito is running scared and he is running scared of yours truly.
 Question 1. Obviously the #1 question on people's mind is simply this ... if Tito Ortiz is indeed the Hunting ton Beach Bad Boy, why is he running in terror like a crappy dog from a mere ultimate fight championship? Surely he can hack that. The answer is this. Tito Ortiz feels a new fear. There is a new star rising in UFChampionship. Our sources inside the champion indicate that Tito has been whimpering, his voice atremble, that he is ascared of ... a certain someone from NAMAT. For the underground railroad is telling him that a NAMAT fighter ... Thom Nelson ... who is far superior to him may soon compete and if he does Tito's neck may be brokenk or his spine snapped as he is mercillessly and embarrassingly defeated by a school he has badmouthed in front of his friends and family as they jeer and spit on his quivering body. He senses it. It puts fear into his heart and soul.
 That is right, my friends. Sifu Thom Nelson is currently training for a championship UFC fight in the octagon. It is believed by some (in the know) that Sifu Nelson is to be the greatest shock to the world in the history of the UFC! He is training in NAMAT for an upcoming no rules barred fight against the best of the world's best, Tito Ortiz, Chick Lidell or Randy Couture, he does not care! This will be a throwback to the early (true) fighting days of the UFC with no rules barred. Dim Mak allowed. Spine twists, neck removals, eye strikes, throat tears - all will be legal. And this my fr9iends is what has your "supper tough" "fiery youngster" Tito Ortiz running (hobbling!) like an old guy with a cane in front of a lethal bulldozer!  YES!! The olden days are returning once more!! Tito Ortiz and his crappy compadres have been living like kings in today's watered down no-ninjutsu no-deadly all-dancing gay UFC. They thrive like champions as if they are doing any work, when in fact they merely take advantage of archaic and obure rules that mean that weaklings can mince around each other and never pose a true threat, only the occasional punch or kick instead of true attack attempts. However this is gone. Its over guys. The realm of yore is once again arising. Tito feels a new fear, and the name of the fear is ... THOM. Why are the ancient ways returning? Haha. This has never been revealed but today is. Because our sources have revealed today that it is because many high ranking UFCs are expremely upset with current levels of weakness in many champions. They are returning to the powerful, mystical, mighty fighting rules of the old school which allow true fighters to compete with true fighting and scare away the jaunty pirate men such as Tito.  As ancient Gandalf says in the trailer for the fantasy/sci-fi production Lord of the Rings, "A new power is risen!!!". And that new power will sweep clean the bloody, dirty and pathetic surface of the old octagon, and replace it with the shiny, excellent and new surface of truly lethal internal techniques! Sifu Thom Nelson will tear through the challengers like Mighty Aragorn slaying a deformed, Orc-Like Chuck Lidell, or Tito, or whoever (orc). The true warrior knows how to fight outside the octagon as well as inside, and inside the mind as well as outside. A good point. When will this calamitous event occur to the unsuspecting public? Time will only tell. I am currently in negotiations for a seven figure deal to fight the winner of the upcoming Randy Coutur and Chuck Lideell fight (*now that Tito (or should that be Titi?) Ortiz has run away like a little woman or injured animal) for the championship of the LHW and HW and other divisions all at once. Will this be difficult? No, the old ways will surely bring defeat to Nelson's enemies. As Gandalf says upon his stand in the battle with the Balrog in the mines of Moria "YOU SHNALL NOT PASS!!!" (in this case I mean my enemy in the octagon shall not defeat me). 
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Copyright 2003 Thom Nelson and Martial Arts Temple International.