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Issue Four - 20/01/05 |
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I-Mugging |
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I think I speak for petty criminals everywhere when I say it's
getting too darn hard to make a decent living out of mugging
these days. How often have you stalked an unsuspecting
member of the public for up to fifteen minutes until you have
them alone only to find that all they have is a five euro note
and a crappy cassette walkman?
Well follow my easy to remember one tip programme and you'll make sure that every casual robbery/assault is a profitable one. The first and only tip: Only rob people who are stupid or vain enough to actually be using the white headphones provided with their Sony I-Pod. They're easy to spot and this way you're guaranteed an easy to conceal item that you can flog for a couple of hundred euro down at your local dodgy watering hole. Plus with people's full details uploaded onto I-Pods if their taste in music is shit you can call around to their house later and punch them in the face! "That's for listening to Maroon 5 you fucking asshole!" |
 Look out for the white headphones |