The Return of Nakedman

At the HomoJail…                  (named innocently after founder James T. Homo)

 

A slender figure sits in a dark jail cell. Two months of horrible oppression (except for those few days he had been out) have added up. The man seemed practically stripped of all. No wait… not ‘practically’… this guy actually is TOTALLY NAKED!

 

Nakedman: Lalalalalala… man, life in jail here is so rough. What a horrible and dreary oppression of an existence, you know, just like the Narrator said. Wait! WAIT A MINUTE!!! There isn’t an Olive in my Cocktail! AHHHH!

 

Nakedman screams in a voice that echoes through the prison halls, quickly three or four prison guards rush to his cell.

 

Guard: Sorry Mr. Nakedman… sorry… we, we, we were out of olives. We just couldn’t afford any more after putting the air conditioner in your suite.

 

Nakedman: Hey, this ain’t no ‘suite’ buddy… I feel oppressed in here. This is a jail cell. I mean come on, the curtains and bed sheets don’t even match. And the ventilation on the second floor is horrible! That’s not even to mention the toilet paper. I said I wanted QUILTED!!

 

Guard2: Sorry, sorry sir. I mean, after custom designing the ButtClub for you to prevent prison rape, we just don’t have the…

 

Nakedman: Silence… I just think your treating me unfairly because I’m a celebrity. If only this were…

 

Suddenly the prison Warden yells from a distance.

 

Warden (not the slammer): GUARDS!!! Front and Center! Have you been pampering Nakedman again?!

 

Guard: N-no Sir!

 

Warden: *Sniff*Sniff* Wait, something smells funny. Did you give Nakedman alcohol?

 

Guard2: Err… of course not.

 

Warden: Hmf. Well Nakedman- you have visitors. Get ready.

 

Nakedman: Oooo.

 

Nakedman turns his head and peers up the hallway. The AoD walks towards him: Virtue Knight, Count Justice, Psychomantis, Ericzombie, and Clothedchic.

 

Psycho: (whispering) Now you remember the plan I told you in the car ride over here.

 

VK: Aye, but it seems to be the scheme of a scoundrel… to harm innocent men of the law.

 

Ericzombie: Yeah, but Nakedman didn’t do it… he’s a free man in jail. It is the noble thing to free him.

 

CJ: Tis a point well made.

 

Clothedchic: I have large breasts.

 

Psycho: What?

 

Clothedchic: Oh, hehe… nevemind. Just stating plot info for anyone who may have forgot.

 

Warden: HEY! I heard you people… I mean sure you were whispering, but you were standing three feet away from me when you were… your trying to break Nakedman out.

 

Ericzombie: Uhh… no we’re not. Where did you hear that from.

 

Warden: All of you You.

 

CJ: Fie!

 

Nakedman: Hello my friends. Hey, no need to bail me out or anything. I mean… even though I didn’t do anything and am completely innocent- It wasn’t me- it was the one armed man.

 

President James K. Polk: Look fellows, there is no evidence. They have nothing against Nakedman at all.

 

VK: What be this?!- Art thou not dead?

 

Polk: Oh, sorry.

 

Psycho: Quick everyone! Rush them before its too late!

 

The AoD quickly storm the Guards and Warden. Being wrestlers, they easily pound them.

 

WHAM!!!

 

CJ: ‘Twas no need to suplex the Warden.

 

Eric: Sorry. Got carried away.

 

Nakedman: Look what you have done! Stop! Stop!

 

Psycho: We’re breaking you out of jail man- your innocent.

 

Nakedman: Gee… I… uh… NO!

 

Psycho: Come on!!

 

Psycho grabs a hold of Naked and pulls him out of the cell (which had no bars by the way).

 

Nakedman: AHHH! Why ar?e you doing th?is to me? Help!

 

SLAP!!!

 

Psycho: No more question marks!!

 

Nakedman: Wait! Wait! I did it- I swear! I killed him- let me staaaaaaay.

 

Clothedchic: Quick- throw Nakedman in the laundry bag and take him out… they'd never suspect that there was a struggling naked slammer in there.

 

VK: Ahh, thine strategy is of well design.

 

They toss him in.

 

Psychomantis: Now- Back to the CWO!