Dale: Jordanzombie has leaped atop of Nakedman; he is pounding
him with everything he has. Nakedman squirms his unclothed body around trying
to get loose, but it’s to no avail. JZ is back up, what’s he doing?
Grimm: Looks like he’s going to stand on that horizontal freezer
with all the Popsicles and Klondike bars in it.
Chip: That’s right, he’s a high-flyer, but something tells me that in a
Convenience store that is not going to help, considering that there are NO
FRICKIN’ ROPES!!!
Dale: He’s up and it looks like he’s going to jump down with
some type of high-risk maneuver on Nakedman, this could be over quickly.
JZ jumps, but Nakedman quickly squeaks himself out of the way, almost as if he were covered in Vaseline or something (duh…) Jordanzombie hits the floor.
Dale: Oh my! It didn’t pay off for Jordan, now Nakedman is
showing us his naked rear and high-tailing it. He’s running over to the next
isle.
Grimm: This is 5 isles of madness. Those isles serve as built in
protection and cover, but they and the objects on them can be used as deadly
weapons.
Chip: Yeah! Nakedman just grabbed a can of Spaghetti-O’s! Go Nakedman!
Dale: Your right Chip, and Jordan has picked himself back up.
Nakedman tosses the can, Jordan ducks and it misses-
**CRASH**
Chip: Oh! It breaks the glass to the refrigerated goods. That milk is going
to spoil now.
Korean Owner: ﾈﾓｼﾃｧｯｴﾅﾚﾒﾎｩｽﾀﾃ!!!!
Dale: Wow, that man had a
mouthful to say.
Chip: Man, I can’t understand a word he said. It just looks like a bunch of boxes to me, I guess I don’t have that font installed on my computer.
Dale: Nakedman and Jordanzombie, they are staring across at each
other from different isles. There is a look of intensity in the eyes of both
slammers.
Chip: I don’t think that Nakedman is intimidated at all. He has something in
his arsenal. Tricky was telling me about Nakedman’s finisher- The Bare Bottom.
Grimm: What in the hell is the Bare Bottom?
Chip: You don’t want to know. But if Jordan does know, trust me, he knows
Nakedman has a reputation.
Dale: That’s disgusting, stop talking about that. Wait, action.
Jordan ducked down and disappeared from Nakedman’s sight. Nakedman is on his
tiptoes leaning forward to try and see where he is!
Chip: Agh! Look the other way Nakedman!
Dale: JZ sneaks around the isle, he catches Nakedman off guard.
Jordan lets go with a right hand, Nakedman somehow blocks it, here we go…
Chip: Yeah, one on one, right here, right now, the Bar Room Brawl.
Grimm: Speak in sentences Chip, not phrases.
Dale: Look at the power of Nakedman, he reverses and whips
Jordanzombie into the isle of candy bars, they are scatted all over the place
now, Jordan bounces back… ohhh… but whipped with a clothesline, that knocked
him right off of his feet.
Chip: See, don’t doubt me, I said Nakedman was the best. Now if only he’d put on some boxers everything would be fine.
Dale: …But look at the resilience of Jordanzombie- just look how
quick he gets back up! JZ forward with a right hand, its blocked by Nakedman,
Naked grabs a hold of his back and pushes him forward, but Jordan twists his
foot to turn right back… Nakedman was expecting it, he lifts him up… Samoan
Drop! I didn’t know Nakedman had the strength!
Chip: …Yeah, he’s not fat enough to do a Samoan Drop. But it had to hurt.
Imagine that big, naked body crashing into your ribs just as your back crashes
to the hard, tile floor. That will mess you all up… but not as much as the Bare
Bottom. Eech, I’ve got to get that image out of my head.
Dale: And Nakedman picks his prey back up with a devious smile…
Shot to the face of Jordanzombie… he’s wobbling… OH! And another one.
Nakedman grabs onto Jordan’s back and shoots him back first into the corner of the counter.
Chip: Oh yeah! That’s what I’m talking about!
Dale: Nakedman has backed up and is charging forward. Oh!
Jordanzombie moves out of the way, the quickness of Jordanzombie is showing
itself in this brawl.
Nakedman picks himself up, semi-dazed. He can’t figure out what happened. He soon realizes he lay at the corner of the counter. There is broken glass around. He has crashed into that jumbo-hot dog cooking machine and lay rear up on it. And if you know that his rear is up… then you know what also has to be down.
Nakedman: What happened? Damn. I missed. *Sniff*sniff* I smell something cooking and its… EIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE!
Chip: I can’t watch.
Grimm: Ouch. That has got to be one of the worst things that can
happen to the male reproductive system.
Dale: Nakedman turns around, and trust me- he has not recovered.
He trying to charge forward again – no – wait – he’s caught!
Jordanzombie quickly plants his head down towards Nakedman’s gut (not too low though, that would just be fruity) He grabs onto Naked’s… umm… hips and slams him down quickly.
Dale: Look at this! Oh my… Spine-Buster by Jordan!
Chip: Agh! How’d he do that?!
Dale: Jordanzombie grabs his leg and here’s a cover. The ref
slides down…
Dale: And a two count for Jordanzombie as Nakedman kicks out
after two.
Chip: Um, yes Mr. State-the-Obvious, that’s what a two count is.
Dale: Tremendous strength by Jordanzombie, especially for a
usual high-flyer.
JZ grabs onto Nakedman by the leg, he starts dragging him, his hand slips once for some mysterious reason. He drags him over to the far side of the store, where he lays Nakedman’s neck on one of those racks that holds the dips. He steps on the back of Nakedman’s neck and starts pushing down.
Chip: That’s not right! That’s not right at all.
Dale: The ref comes over to see if its legit… is that legit
Grimm?
Grimm: Umm… sure. Why not?
The ref doesn’t look so pleased, after 5 seconds he makes Jordan pull off.
Dale: Now Jordan has Nakedman by the hair, he’s pulling him to
the center of the isle.
Chip: He’s lifting Nakedman up… he probably just wants to get closer, that
freak!
Dale: Jordanzombie is going for a- … no wait, his hand slips off
of Nakedman’s side. Jordan can’t hold on. What’s up with that? I’ve been noticing
something strange all match. Nakedman with a counter!
Nakedman takes a breath and
then picks JZ up and jacks him into a:
Dale: SUPLEX by Nakedman. Looks as if the crest of
Jordanzombie’s back took the majority of that blow as Nakedman goes for a cover.
Dale: Only a two count there. Nakedman picks him up and tosses
him into the canned goods… Jordanzombie gets back up… he comes back and gets a
step up on the foot of that isle… catches Nakedman with a flying DDT!
Chip: No! Get up Nakedman, get up!
Dale: What’s this? Nakedman is back up… that catches Jordan by
surprise as he moves forward. A kick to the face by Nakedman! Gosh, did you see
the way Nakedman got up from that DDT?
Chip: Heck, I saw more then that. I saw Nakedman’s stuff when he raised that
leg to the air. Looked extra crispy.
Grimm: You were looking?!
Chip: …
Dale: I saw a scouting report on Nakedman but I never knew he
has such recovery.
Nakedman begins to circle
around Jordanzombie, who lies on the floor trying to get up.
He begins to look around and starts posing. Naked gives the thumbs up to the fans outside the glass window.
Dale: I think I know what Nakedman is up to, he is going to try
the Ba… no wait, he has to call off his plans as Jordanzombie staggers back up.
Nakedman reaches over to get him… oh my, he shoves Jordan in between his legs.
Chip: That can’t be pretty scenery.
Dale: Jordan with his back to the air, looks like Nakedman is
setting up a Piledriver! …Jordanzombie counters by smashing his head into
Nakedman’s loins… Nakedman falls down. Jordan has got a hold of him. Yes, this
could be it fans, Jordanzombie is going for his finisher, the Zombie’s Ed… NO,
wait a damn minute, he couldn’t do it!
Both men go crashing to the ground, Nakedman landing atop of JZ.
Chip: Hahaha… he couldn’t do it? What a loser.
Dale: His hands slipped- Nakedman slipped out of his arms again,
I smell something fishy here.
Chip: Try changing your cologne then.
Dale: Nakedman must have covered his entire naked body in grease
or something. Is that against the rules of a Bar Room Brawl?
Grimm: Don’t think so.
Dale: …And look, as Nakedman fell onto Jordan that must have
taken an incredible amount out of him.
Chip: That was not a smart move on the behalf of Jordanzombie. Nakedman with
his amazing talent already drained Jordanzombie, for him to try his finisher
was just dumb.
Dale: Well, Nakedman stumbles to his feet and goes over for some
more objects from the convenience goods… he’s in the cereal isle.
Chip: He’s probably going over to get a box of Grape Nuts.
Dale: But look! Jordanzombie is coming alive now too!
Chip: Whoa there, look out from behind Nakedman.
Dale: Jordanzombie is over, he grabs onto Nakedman- looks like
he’s going to try to take out Nakedman again. He’s grabbing onto Nakedman extra
tight this time to not let him free. Looks like Nakedman is trying to power out
by slugging Jordan in the face with those Cheerios. It’s not working.
Chip: Eww, he’s grabbing onto a naked man extra tight. I hope he doesn’t go
home to his mother with that story.
Dale: AND JORDANZOMBIE HAS IT! He has it! It’s Zombie’s Edge!
How in the world did he just do that to Nakedman!? The nude CWO rep just got
dealt a huge blow. Nakedman is laying in a pile of Crunch Berries now!
Chip: Well it just goes to show that hard work and perseverance pays off.
Dale: How quickly the tides turn; I thought you were cheering
for Nakedman.
Chip: I don’t know what your talking about Jim.
Dale: Jordanzombie goes for a cover, 1… 2… and Nakedman somehow
gets a shoulder up.
Chip: Umm… Yeah, that’s it. Go Nakedman!
Dale: Both men back up now; Nakedman tries to walk over but meets
Jordanzombie’s right hand… and another right… and another. He’s got Nakedman in
the corner now.
Grimm: What in the heck is that over there?
Chip: Huh? Where? Oh, I see now!
Dale: Yes, I see some eyes peering over an isle. Someone else
must have snuck in through the back entrance. Can you tell who it is?
Grimm: One of those AoD guys, who can tell who is who.
Dale: It appears to be Psychomantis. Obviously he’s up to no
good here. What is he doing?
Chip: It looks like he’s trying to get the attention of the ref.
The ref hears a noise and turns
around; Psycho has ducked down to avoid being seen. The ref goes over to
investigate.
Dale: Jordan has Nakedman in the corner over there, he was just
about to pin him- but now the ref is distracted.
Grimm: *sigh* Did I not say that interference would be the
pathetic way out of this? You think that would discourage it… but nooooo.
Dale: The ref is looking around. He doesn’t see anything-NO! Psychomantis pops up from behind him and covers the ref’s eyes, he can’t see what is going on or who is doing this, he’s opening up the freezer… he’s tossing him in there and shutting it- this is horrible!
Chip: You say ‘horrible,’ I say ‘funny.’ I guess we’ll have to agree to
disagree.
Dale: Now Psychomantis is going over to Jordanzombie- OH! He
kicks him in the back… and a low blow too!
Jordan falls to his knees, he pulls himself towards Psychomantis, who backs away. Psycho grabs a 2-Liter Bottle of Coca-Cola and…
WHAM!!
Dale: JZ has just been clocked in the face with a 2-liter bottle
of soda. That must have hurt like all hell, Jordan is trying to pick himself
up… the ref is pulling himself out of the freezer… Psychomantis is running out
of the door and is gone… Nakedman is back up too… Nakedman has recovered…
Scissors Kick to the head of Jordanzombie yeah, the ref saw that. Now
Nakedman has him again, boot to the midsection… he’s picking him up now… Belly
to Belly!
Chip: Its all over now.
Dale: You may be right… God, this isn’t what I think it is, is
it?
Chip: It just may be! Cover your eyes!
Dale: Here it comes… BARE BOTTOM, BARE BOTTOM! My Lord fans,
that was a horrendous display.
Nakedman drops Jordan down to the floor, covered in all sorts of messy goods. Naked sticks a foot on top of Jordan for a cocky cover. The ref slides down.
1… 2… 3
Dale: Its all over fans! Nakedman has won with a little help
from Psychomantis of the AoD. The referee was thrown in the freezer and missed
it all. It seems as if the AoD is slowly creeping their way through this
Bar Room Brawl too!
Chip: Get over it; he won because he was the better man. Nakedman would have
recovered without the help of the AoD. It was just a matter of time Jim.
Suddenly the rest of the AoD
starts popping up from behind the back isle. Holyevil, FallenOne, Stormfire,
and EricZombie.
Dale: WHAT?! Was the whole AoD hiding in here? I tell you, those
are some sneaky associates.
Nakedman stumbles over in a stupor to have a group hug with his stablemates.
Dale: Well, for Grimm and Chip Young, this is Jim Dale and we’ve
got to go!
Nakedman: What?! No damn post match!?!?!
-camera cuts off-
THE END, go away now.