The black T-shirt was a bit too tight, and the slacks were a bit too loose around the waist, but with all things considered, Hank, erm, Princess Peach couldn't complain.  He was showered, and he was in clean clothes, and since Mr. Boddy had the kindness of foresight to include a chilled bottle of Jagermeister in his room, he also had a buzz...so now he just couldn't bring himself to kill, maim, or otherwise harm Mr. Boddy anymore for that sign at the airport.  Taking the name tag off his old shirt and putting it on the one he was wearing now rekindled that urge to strangle the guy...Princess Peach indeed!

 

But before he could dwell too much on it, there was a couple of light raps on the door before it opened and the same nameless servant guy entered.

 

NSG:  Princess Peach, it is time to go downstairs for dinner.

 

Peach:  Roight, roight, thank yew...uh...whot is yur name anyways?

 

NSG:  My name is Nigel, Nigel St.Guy.

 

Peach:  *blink, blink*  Alroight there, Nigel...shall we go downstairs then?

 

NSG:  If you will follow me...

 

So, Princess Peach aka Hank Hooligan follows Nigel downstairs to the ballroom, which had been decked out with a wet bar and a service table that has a spread of hors d'hoerves, and it seems that just about everyone from before is already there, with an addition...

 

Stan:  Crikey!  Can ya belieeeve this place, huh?  It's bloody lovely, tell ya mothah!

 

Coach Crimson:  Yeah, bloody lovely...it sure is that...ass.

 

Stan:  Oh, forgive me there, shiela...I done forgot that ya were in those straits, didn't mean ta be insensitive....oh look, it's Hank Hooligan, excuse me...

 

Stan walks over to go speak with the guy who's entrance into the room gave him the perfect excuse to get out of that potentially volatile situation with a throughly relieved look on his face.

 

Stan:  Hank, mate, you're timin' couldn't've been any better there!  So, how's Miami treatin' ya?

 

Peach:  Treatin' me well..at least tha front office there recognizes me assests and 'ave been doin' me propah...me and Belzovia ovah there 'ave been goin' at it ovah that Gut's and Glory title and-

 

Stan:  Yeah, yeah, yeah, well good on ya...I think I'm gonna go and grab me another one of them crab cakes ovah there before dinner gets started...good talkin' to ya!

 

Peach: Well, if that don't beat all!

 

Eventually, everyone arrives and they all mull about, waiting now on the man of the house to show up before dinner can be served.  Ten minutes pass, then fifteed, and twenty.  Soon, a whole half an hour has passed and it seems like some of the staff are even wondering what's keeping Mr. Boddy.  A maid scurries out of the room and no more than five minutes after that...

 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

All:  What the hell was that?!?

 

Hank:  *blink, blink*

 

Actually, Hank, erm, Princess Peach, wasn't the only one who did a take at the fact that everyone in the room exclaimed in unison, but that quickly wore off as moments later a very hysterical maid came running into the room, and that's not hysterical like one of Dr. Kiebler's old Blumpkins commercials, that's hysterical like somebody needs to slap her already.

 

Hysterical Maid:  HE'S DEAD, HE'S DEAD, OH MY GOD HE'S DEEEAAAD!

 

*SLAP!*

 

Stan:  Needed ta be done!  Now, get ahold of yourself and tell us whot happened.

 

HM:  Well, I went to go see what was taking Mr. Boddy so long, and when I knocked on his door, he didn't answer. So, I opened the door and he was laying on the floor all sprawled out.  I nudged him and he didn't move, so I leaned over and checked for a pulse and he was dead...and then I saw th-th-the blood AND OH MY GOD I TOUCHED A DEAD MAN, AND HE WAS MY BOSS AND A GOOD LOVER AND OH MY GOD

 

*SLAP!*

 

Nigel:  I will go and call the police, straight away.

 

Stan:  NO!

 

Everyone gives Stan an incredulous look.

 

Stan:  Listen, we can't go to the police just yet, because we can't afford to have another PR disaster...think about it, just last month we had you guys trying to fight on a stadium in ruins and a break out of the bird flu, all of it tied into what we do, and that was just last month!  Think a bit farther back than that and you'll see whot I'm talkin' about!  No, not until we have the guilty party in our hands, with the evidence proving that they're guilty in our hands, can we bring in the constables, understand?

 

Slowly everyone agrees with Stan's line of thought, if for no other reason than disagreeing could get one fired and probably framed on top of it!

 

Officer Orange:  Yo, I'm all for not bringing the PO-lice up in here, and I'm all for finding out what chump ******-****** killed the fat cat that hooked us up with this spread, but yo, I'm about a hungry ******-******!

 

Lady Lavender:  I agree with the potty mouth!

 

Stan:  Alright...Nigel, bring in some food and we'll eat while I formulate a plan..

 

*     *     *     *     *

 

So the staff just brings out the large platters of food and a stack of plates with the appropriate sliverware and everyone lines up and serves themselves.  After a few hurried mouthfuls, Stan sets his plate down and taps the side of his glass with his fork, getting everyone's attention.

 

Stan:  O.K., everyone...here's the spot:  We're gonna split up into groups and look for clues.  Nigel has assured me that all the staff have been too busy to kill Mr. Boddy and I, for one, believe him...these people have been working their kowakahs off and loved Mr. Boddy too much to do him in, so it the murderer has to be someone in this room, just not me.  So when you're in your groups looking for clues, pay attention to those around you, if they seem shady or nervous, or otherwise act guilty, they could be the killer, so stay alert!

 

As everyone in the room begins doing a collective *shifty eyes*, Stan shovels a few more mouthfuls of food into his mouth...after a hearty gulp, he addresses the room again.

 

Stan:  Alright, while I keep questioning the staff, Amp, Belzovia, and Stormtrooper...I want you three to go and check the library, maybe there's a lead pipe with Mr. Boddy's blood all over it, or something like that.

 

Professor Plum, Mrs. White and Senorita Silver all look at each other and nod...at least we assume that Mrs. White looks at the other two, but it's kind of hard to tell with that helmet on.

 

Stan:  James, BMan, Virtue...I want you three to go up to the hall where Mr. Boddy's room is, maybe there a clue dangling off a rope just hanging there saying, "look at me, look at me"

 

Colonel Mustard, Mr. Green and Officer Orange start eyeing each other suspisously right away.  Maybe the killer is one of the ones in that group.

 

Stan:  Demonica, Hank and Law, go check out the dining room and like Jack, be nimble, be quick, jump over the candlestick and find me something!

 

Coach Crimson, Mrs. Peacock, and Princess Peach immediately put their plates down and head out of the room, after all, they were going to the dining room.  As they were leaving, Stan continued his delegation of duties.

 

Stan:  And the three of you who are left should head to the Billiard room....

 

CONTINUED