"If a man should importune me to give a reason why I loved him,
I find it could no otherwise be expressed, than by making answer:
because it was he, because it was I."
[Michel de Montaigne]

The more things change, the more they stay the same. That's not a bad thing. Just as the old Chinese curse "may you live in interesting times" is often mistaken as a blessing, so too is change and progress often mistaken for betterment. The truth is that the things which so often bring us the most happiness are not complex, though they increasingly-often nowadays involve the sophisticated. The truth is simple. But the truth is in not out there; the truth is in here.

I meant to write while I was in Ottawa or just after I returned. I didn't set the time aside for myself until now. Perhaps I just wasn't ready. Maybe what I wanted to say hadn't quite congealed yet in my mind. I know what I discovered, or rather, re-discovered. It was wonderful and incredibly simple. So simple, in fact, that explaining it cannot possibly help but make it (or me) sound tragically stupid, but nonetheless I plan to if only so that I have something to return to as a reminder.

While I was in Ottawa, I did not visit the Parliament or go shopping. I did not take in museums or galleries. I didn't have a big night on the town with friends or go to any concerts. Mostly I just sat around, "chillin'" with Geoff and Krista. I played a lot of PS2 (finished God of War - great game) and we played a lot of board games. On one of my last nights there, myself, Geoff, Krista and Mark played a new board game for hours.

I had a fabulous time.

Sometimes I get nostalgic for my early 20s. I sometimes think about Greenwood and Crud and all the crazy antics. I think about Dungeons and Dragons and holing up in my basement with friends with paper and dice and Johnny's 2-for-1 wings & chips specials. I think about weekends spent playing Nintendo with Mark, napping only briefly each night as we powered through Final Fantasy 1 start to finish in under 48 hours. And often, in looking back, I feel like that's all stuff that gets left behind when we "grow up", and so I kind of lament "growing up" in some sense, because it feels as though we leave behind freedom in taking on more responsibility, until we're 'slaves with white collars... chasing cars and clothes... working jobs we hate, to buy shit we don't need'. Heap on top of that all the social niceties and pretty soon it's like we've all just slid into some horrible mold that the previous generation made for us.

But just like everything else in life, there are choices. Yes, things get busier and more complicated. Now going out to a movie with my girlfriend involves a babysitter, and playing board games with the guys means making a half a dozen phone calls to coordinate a date and location agreeable to all. But the fact of the matter is that it's still just a few phone calls, and it still very doable. Somehow, for some unknown reason, many of us stop, and settle in to what's just under our own roofs, and lapse into longing for something that still remains very much at our own fingertips.

Most of the best times of my life cost very little if any money, and very little if any effort. They required only friendship and a modicum of effort. I still have friends, and quite good ones at that. They still enjoy the same things I do. It's just the effort that is sometimes lacking.

Since returning from Ottawa I've gotten my friends together for board games two or three times. It was fun. I plan to continue.

There's probably a phone near your computer.