"it's the perfect hassle for the perfumed kiss
he makes you miss him more than home
you love him, you love him more than this
you love him, and you cannot, you can't resist"
[Smashing Pumpkins, "Daphne Descends"]

Jenny struck up a conversation with me on messenger a few nights ago. It was a bit awkward at first, and through much of it. I guess the wounds are still a bit too fresh for me. Try as I might to be as receptive as I could, I found myself lapsing into being consistently argumentative. Eventually though, a cool head won out, and the conversation ended much more comfortably than it had begun. It was followed by a terrible night's sleep, as I had just too much on my mind, but I did awake with a slightly renewed sense of urgency about getting moved and getting my life back on track.

I extended an apology to Stephanie the next morning for having been so lax lately about us getting together. We've come this far, so we really owe it to ourselves to get off our asses and get out another time or two, or three, or eight hundred, and find out if it's going to work or not. Two dates in a month is really not much chance to get to know one another. She agreed, and felt she too had been very busy and withdrawn lately. I'm going to focus on getting moved, but try to squeeze in some time to spend with her as well. If it works out, it works out. If not, I'll get back to looking again quickly.

I went out to supper later that night with my best friend's (Jon's) girlfriend, Thea. Jon's out of town right now, and we both miss him terribly. We were out once already. I guess each of us sees it as an opportunity to actually engage in a little conversation and get to know each other a bit better. I've been giving a lot of thought to the situation of late, actually. They celebrated five years together just a little while back, and that's considerably longer than any relationship I've ever had. Jon's friends were very skeptical about their relationship way back when it started, because she's so much younger than he is, and admittedly I had many misgivings myself. Over the course of all this time, most of Jon's male friends haven't made much of an effort to get to know and befriend her very much. Some would argue she didn't either. I think everyone would be half-right at best, and I'm unconcerned about blame or about the past. Rather, there are two facts that have become increasingly clear to me of late, and which I should have realized a long time ago. Well, perhaps not realized, as I guess I always knew, but perhaps acknowledged the gravity of.
I just ended a sentence with a preposition, and that's something up with which I've not before put. Shit.
Firstly, that we did then, and continue to now, grossly underestimate the woman. (At first, I typed "girl". How telling is that?) There was always a certain assumption on our parts that because she was young, she was also childish and fickle, and that theirs would never be a relationship that lasted. But that's turned out to not be the case, given after five years, and having weathered many difficult situations, they're still together. From spending some time getting to know her lately, I've come to better understand just how much we underestimated her, and what it was that Jon sees in her and which we didn't take the time to discover: she's a far more interesting, intelligent, sensitive, and caring individual than any of us knew or cared to know. Her love of Jon is far deeper than many of us might have expected. When you hear the way she speaks about him, when she's really speaking about him, it brings to mind the expression "balls to bones". Her love for Jon permeates her like water; it's a part of who she is now.

Secondly, that in the expanse of five years - that is a rather considerable amount of time when you think about it - that we've owed it to ourselves, to her, and, perhaps most importantly, to our good friend Jon, to come down from sitting in judgement in our ivory tower waiting for the other shoe to drop, and get over this whole "she's too young" thing. It's been too long. We should have all gotten to know her better long before now. They've been together five years. They may very well be together for the rest of their lives. If she's going to be a part of the rest of Jon's life, it's about time we accepted that and did what we can to welcome her into ours a little more, instead of maintaining this irreverent distance we've always had. I'm not saying we all have to become the best of friends. I'm not saying all the guys are going to love her. I'm just saying that you'd think that long before now we'd have developed a healthier respect for her than I think most of us have. I believe we've been unfair, to both of them.

I do miss him terribly, and hope he returns soon. Rumor is that it'll be some time next week.