"I'll take this soul that's inside me now
Like a brand new friend
I'll forever know

I've got this light
And the will to show
I will always be better than before"
[Eddie Vedder, "Setting Forth"]

I revised the site a little. I re-arranged the way all the journal entries were indexed. I've wanted to get back to writing for some time, easily a month or more, but kept finding I either didn't have anything to say, or what I had to say wasn't something I was willing to say here.

Now, having finished all the re-arranging, needing an entry for the 2008 page, and figuring if I don't start sometime perhaps I never will, I thought it best to sit and write, even if it just ends up as pointless rambling. Writing is a skill that needs to be practiced to be kept sharp, and it's been so long I fear it will wane if I don't take it back up.

They say the 21st of January is statistically the most depressing day of the year. By "they", I mean someone at the office said that today. I have no idea who the hell comes up with this stuff or how. As out of sorts as I've been of late, I really don't have any reason to be depressed: I have a good job, and good woman, a good home life, a good family, and good friends. Really, I have nothing to complain about. Overall, day to day, I'm pretty happy. The winters always do get me down a little though, that's for sure.

Tonight, after a long day at work that involved finding out one of my two subordinates is leaving - meaning my already stressful job will become even more difficult in coming weeks - I still don't find myself with anything to write about. Mostly, I just feel tired. Michelle Jackson died a few days ago. I considered several times writing something about it, but she wasn't close to me and it doesn't affect me personally so it seemed like it would just be out of place. She was a good woman, from what I knew of her, and she certainly touched a lot of lives. The world will be a little bit sadder for her passing. It's been on my mind the last few days. I'm not exactly sure why. She was two years younger than me to the day. We shared the same birthday.

I guess it's just that between Darryl's impending departure and Michelle's final departure, I'm reminded that life is forever going forward, shifting and changing, and often in unpredictable ways. Some day I'll find myself looking for a new job. Some day I'll stop existing altogether.

I'm not sure how much time there is between here and there, but I'd best start figuring out what it is I hope to accomplish with it, and I'd best get hopping.

"I won't be the last
I won't be the first
Find a way to where the sky meets the earth
It's all right and all wrong
For me it begins at the end of the road
We come and go..."
[Eddie Vedder, "End of the Road"]