"I'm gonna get the Duke and John Casavetti and Sam Peckinpaw
and a case of fuckin' whisky and drive..."
[Denis Leary, "I'm an Asshole"]

WARNING: I'm feeling candid. And I feel like a rant.

The only thing more pathetic to me than a man who has surrendered himself to being pussy-whipped by a woman is one who so readily does it to himself, without said woman even having to exert an effort, without his even resisting. Having arrived at the lush pink holy ground, he relinquishes all his possessions, his freedom, his testicles, his very fucking heart and soul, to a state where his only desires seems to be to do whatever he must to keep his woman happy, or at least appeased, or in the very least off his back.

What a tragedy it is that these men developed brains when surely a spinal column would be sufficient. They only follow what instructions they're given, incapable of making the simplest decision without consultation and approval, and even then, every promise given must be regarded as wishful thinking, for at her beckon call, all bets are off, all promises revoked.

But Pat, what if these men are happy? What if they want to be submissives in their relationship? Yes, every relationship typically has a dominant and a submissive personality. But I'm talking about when the men aren't happy. I"m talking about when they've so willingly surrendered everything, and in exchange, appear to have gained nothing but an enduring misery.

And they deserve nothing. "They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security." (Benjamin Franklin) They deserve nothing because they fought for nothing. They did not negotiate. They did not reach reasonable compromise. They did not demand equality, so they have not received it.

But Pat, it's none of your business what kind of relationship they have! No, but it is my business what kind of relationship I have with these men. It is my business to lose all respect at their inability to make the simplest decisions on their own. It is my business to grow annoyed with their inability to commit to anything without calling me back after hours of consultation first. It is my business to resent their broken promises when that beckon call brings them away. And, today, it is my business to be so fucking annoyed as to come here and rant about it.

Of course, friends seldom "break up". They tend simply to grow apart instead.

I feel a growth splurt coming on.

Gentlemen, learn to eat pussy. Learn to do it well. Learn to do it very well. And then, find yourself a woman who truly enjoys it. Put the word "cockstruck" in her vocabulary. Because your equality outside bed relies on your equality in it.