How to Kiss a Guy

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How to Kiss a Guy

A CCS fanfic by Sakura.

Standard disclaimers apply.

Slightly edited version up 2002.9.4.

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How to Kiss a Guy.

Step one.

Choose the perfect location.

Syaoran: Here?

Sakura: Yes.

Syaoran: But this is the broom closet.

Sakura: I can see that.

Syaoran: How the hell did you lose your Math book in here, then?

Sa: I lost it when we were playing hide-and-seek.

[Glare.]

Syaoran: 'We'?

Sakura: Never mind that. Just help me look for it, or I'll be in big trouble.

Syaoran: Oh all right, all right...

[Click.]

Step two.

Create the mood.

Sakura: Syaoran-kun.

Syaoran: What?

Sakura: It's dark here, isn't it?

Syaoran: Aa.

Sakura: Aren't you scared?

Syaoran: Scared of what?

Sakura: The dark.

Syaoran: No. Your book's not here with the brooms and mops and stuff. Any luck over there?

Sakura: ...No.

Syaoran: Are you scared?

Sakura: Not really, but...

Syaoran: Hold on a sec--

Sakura: Wait, what are you--

Syaoran: /Ka shin./

Sakura: Oh. A fire spell?

Syaoran: Is this better?

Sakura: Yes. Thank you.

Syaoran: Hold this while I go look in the corner.

Sakura: Okay.

Step three.

Devise a situation--

Sakura: Syaoran-kun?

Syaoran: Aa.

Sakura: The flame's going out.

Syaoran: That spell doesn't last very long, that's why.

Sakura: I'm sorry.

Syaoran: What for?

Sakura: I'm just standing here holding this ward and you've been looking all over for my book for minutes now.

Syaoran: I don't mind. There's not enough room for two people to look in the first place.

Sakura: But I want to help--

Syaoran: It's not here either. Maybe it's...

Sakura: I'm coming over.

Syaoran: W-wait, stay back, there's a--

Sakura: Syaoran-kun, the flame--

Syaoran: Watch out for that board!!

[Poof!]

Sakura: KYAA!!!

Syaoran: SAKURA!!

[Thud.]

Sakura: Ouch...

Syaoran: Are you okay?

Sakura: W-What happened?

Syaoran: You were almost hit by this board. And I think I tripped on a mop.

Sakura: Oh no! Are you okay?

Syaoran: ...Aa.

Sakura: Does it hurt anywhere?

Syaoran: No. What about you?

Sakura: I'm fine.

Syaoran: That's good.

Step four.

--and make the most of it.

Syaoran: It doesn't look like your book's in here.

Sakura: R-right.

Syaoran: We have to go look someplace else.

Sakura: Y-Yes.

Syaoran: But I can't move with this board on my back.

Sakura: I-I can't seem to move either.

Syaoran: Am I crushing you?

Sakura: N-No.

Syaoran: Good.

[Silence.]

Syaoran: ....So.

Sakura: So..?

Syaoran: So what are we going to do now?

Sakura: Call for help?

Syaoran: And let them all know that we're all alone inside a broom closet? No way.

Sakura: I know, I'll try pushing that board off your back.

Syaoran: It's too heavy.

Sakura: I can do it.

Syaoran: Be careful.

[Silence.]

Sakura: H-Hoeee.

Syaoran: I told you it was heavy.

Sakura: I'll try pushing you instead.

Syaoran: What?!

Sakura: Okay, here goes--

Syaoran: H-hey--

Sakura: Eeeiii!

[Thud.]

Syaoran: .....Ouch.

Sakura: It worked! We're standing up now!

Syaoran: My head--

Sakura: S-sorry, did it hurt?

Syaoran: ...No, not really.

Sakura: Here, let me check... Oh no, you have a bump right here!

Syaoran: Ouch!

Sakura: I'm sorry.

Syaoran: Don't worry, I'm fine.

[Deep breath.]

Sakura: Syaoran-kun...?

First pointer.

Aggression is the key.

Syaoran: What?

Sakura: I...

[Pause.]

Sakura: I...well, can you do me a favor?

Syaoran: What is it?

Sakura: Can you...can you...c-close your eyes?

Syaoran: Eh?

Sakura: Please...?

Syaoran: But what for?

[Silence.]

Sakura: It looks like I'm doing it all wrong.

Syaoran: Doing what wrong?

Sakura: N-Never mind.

Syaoran: Just what is this all about, Sakura?

Sakura: I...

Syaoran: Sakura?

Sakura: I... Well...the truth is, I lied.

[Silence.]

Sakura: My book's not really here.

Syaoran: I figured out just as much. But why would you--

Sakura: I'm sorry I lied to you, but I just wanted to...

Syaoran: What?

[Pause.]

Sakura: Ha ha, I'm so stupid.

Syaoran: I don't get what you're saying.

Sakura: Never mind, forget about it.

Syaoran: Forget about what?

Sakura: I'm sorry I had to drag you in here. Let's try to get out.

Syaoran: Wait. You owe me an explanation.

Sakura: No, please forget about everything, let's---

Syaoran: Sakura.

Sakura: H-Hey. Syaoran-kun, let me go.

Syaoran: I won't until you tell me what's going on here.

Second pointer.

Never ever reveal your ulterior motives.

[Pause.]

Sakura: Okay. But promise you won't laugh.

Syaoran: I won't.

[Deep breath.]

Sakura: Tomoyo-chan lent me this magazine and...

Syaoran: And?

Sakura: ...it had a section on...

Syaoran: On?

Sakura: ...on...k-k-k-kissing, so I thought about, well...

[Silence.]

Syaoran: KISSING?!

Third pointer.

If you slip, retreat as quickly as possible.

Sakura: I wasn't even thinking at all! I was just reading it and I suddenly thought about what it would be like... I-I mean, it's only natural that we--- And to think we've been together for months now and I thought, we never even ki--- I mean... You know what I mean, don't you?

Syaoran: ...So basically what you're saying here is that you led me in here so you could kiss me?

Sakura: H-HOEEE!!

Syaoran: What?! That's what you were trying to say, right?!

Sakura: But when you put it that way, it sounds so---

Syaoran: That's what you said! You said that you--

Sakura: ---sounds so STUPID, like I'm this loose little--

Syaoran: But you said---

Sakura: Oh, never mind! Forget I said anything!

[Silence.]

Syaoran: You're mad.

Sakura: I'm not.

Syaoran: Yes you are.

Sakura: I'm not mad.

[Silence.]

Syaoran: Sakura--

Sakura: I'm sorry.

[Sniffle.]

Advice.

If everything else fails, abandon ship.

Sakura: I'm sorry I lied to you. Now let's get out of here.

Syaoran: Wait.

[Shuffle.]

Syaoran: Here.

Sakura: Don't bother, I have my own handkerchief.

Syaoran: You're still mad at me, aren't you.

Sakura: No, I'm not.

Syaoran: But you are. It's written all over your face.

Sakura: I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself. It was my fault, after all.

[Sniffle.]

Sakura: That bump on your head and everything.

[Sniffle.]

Sakura: ...I'm so stupid...

[Chuckle.]

Sakura: What's so funny?

Syaoran: Nothing.

Sakura: You think I'm really stupid, don't you.

Syaoran: It's not you I'm laughing at.

Sakura: Who are you laughing at, then?

Syaoran: Us.

Sakura: Us?

Syaoran: I was just thinking about what a great pair of idiots we make.

Sakura: Then you do think I'm stupid.

Syaoran: Yup.

[Smile.]

Syaoran: As stupid as I am.

[Pause.]

Sakura: Syaoran-kun?

Syaoran: Hm?

Sakura: I don't get it.

Syaoran: That's because there's something I haven't told you yet.

Sakura: What is it?

Syaoran: The truth is...

Step five.

When he moves closer, hold your breath and stay still.

Syaoran: The truth is, I had the same idea myself.

Sakura: S-Syaora---

[Silence.]

[ the end ]