| Consuela There is so much i want to say. The first thing is that i dont hate you. How can a person suddenly hate someone they have loved for over 12 years. I cant stand the fact that were not friends, You dont have the right to call me a friend..we dont talk out side of school or do anything with each other at all so why do you belive you have the right to talk to me in school. Its only because we came from something so great that I am So bitter. Who wouldnt be bitter, Im insulted by what you say, hurt by what you dont do and confused by your additude. Your friendlier to people you do know than you are to me. I guess i feel cheated in our friendship. Ive done so much shit for you not expecting something of equal value in return except a good friend. I have invited you on Family trips and were not family, i have taken you to meet members of my family, You have invited yourself over on trips I havelistend to you rant and rave about people and not question you untilkl your finished. I have stood by when you did things i didnt like because i was your friend and thats what friends do. Well now that im being honest i do feel a little cheated. I would do anything for a friend to offer to me what you have. I used to ask all the time to have you do stuff with us, i remember defending you to my family because there was apoint where they thought i didnt need to hang out with you. Hell, my family loved you so much they included you in thier wills..i told them they can take you out now, your not my friend anymore so it wasnt worth the investment. Im Disapointed that you think i havent changed. Look at my poetry, watch me walk down the hall look at how i conduct myself..and se if i havent changed. Yes much of me remains the same. Im not going to become a different person i tae my past with me where ever i go. I know things cant be like when we had our cooking show or made barf omatic or watched ren and stimpy, But i also know that there werethings i didnt like about then but i excepted them because i liked you as a whole i didnt want parts of you cause then you wouldnt be you. I dont like th e fact that i get more comefort talking to people i barely concider friens than i do when i talk with you, thanks for all the support..if you even listen to me i know you dont care i can see it im not blind. I dont like it that you drink or that you think its cool to. So what if im a goody good.. Do you realize that your family has drinking problems and that is something that runs in the family that is sont somthig you can pick up or driop, i dont want to see you get hurt or something weather or not you thing that you wont take it that far i just dont know and i worry. I dont like the fact that you want to do drugs,,if it s just to say that you have done it fine then go ahead. But i dont see why you must waste your moneyand well..i dunno ui just dont see it as an interewsting thing to dobut tht cjoice is ultimatly yours you and i both know that. Maybe you didnt tellme because youthoughti would act this way well so wat i dont take teh beers from your hans although you say it makes you depressed..and i dont flip when i hear you smoke weed. You just become another person who does. Your shallow, Your not very thoughtful, and you lie to spare me what?...You make a great best friend but as a friend you suck. That mau be harsh but like i said im not sugar coating anything. I dont lik what youve become And i honestly belive that Dori is partly responsible. But even dori is ore sensitve to how i feel than you are. She may talk about me behind me back ( by the way thanks for sticking up for me..only if you did otherwise your sorse than i thought)And dont defend her to me because i know she does people tell me. I stick up for you..even now i try to. What im sorriest for thought at the moment is that i evemn Bothered to Throw you aparty and get you a gift for the holidays...because i really only get nice gifts for people who i see and do stuff with over the holidays and the only reason i threw that party was because i was still thinking how wonderful you are and how nice you are and how lucky i am to have you as a friend lit me do something to show how much i care. If you died tomorrow id cry, but i would have wished you had dies along time ago so id have fond memories of you instead of these shattered remnants of what used to be my friend. If you ever find my friend..the one i lost let her know im still searching for her and that she is always welcome. One last thing dont say your sorry...you didnt want this friendship...i did and thats obivious. And i do have much more to say but im out of room. |
| Hey sway hard to belive that a year ago we werent Talking to eachother. You are my sister for life i love you and i do not know what i would do without you in my life. I know when i have kids they will call you Auntie Sway or Auntie Consuela. I miss you so much school is so not the same without you by myside being there for me. Eventhough your only a phone call away its still seems like more than that. This summer has to rock cause there arent too many more of em left. YOu have always been there for me and i Will always be there for you no matter what comes along because i love you. In an unconditional way. Kisses |