| Nags's Life Right Now |
| March 22, 2003 What's Happening? Well it's that time yet again. Time for another site update. Nothing totally horrible happened to me this time so you wont' have to deal with that deep shit. Ok well there's going to be some deep shit but hey, why else would you be reading this if there weren't any deep shit in it. You know there is. Ok well onto the shit, some deep, other just bull. Ok well lets see where I left off.... ok right before Valentine's Day. V-Day is usually a shitty ass day for me because it makes me pissed off more that I don't have anyone and all these other bastards do. Well it still did. But there were some good parts. Because I'm such a sweet and sensitive guy, I decided that the girls� soccer team needed flowers for Valentine's Day. My wallet cried. But yeah that worked out good though, even got a little smile from Nicole. That's Adam 1 - Valentine's Day 9325. Then at night I went and gave flowers to a bunch of people. All girls, I swear I'm not gay. I got a text message saying "Than a thousand times from one person". So that's 2 for me. Also I sent 2 boxes of candy to Terri Huynh, one for her and one for Chrissy Byron. I got thank yous from both of them and now Chrissy and I are starting to talk again (as we really haven't talked since school got out). Then I went bowling with Josh (who almost hates V-Day as much as me) and some girl I never met before named Caitlyn. Apparently I was flirting with her the entire night (I didn't know that I knew how to flirt). I got her number and a hug but she's nothing more than a friend. She's actually going out with Grant now. Man I think I got like 5-10 points this Valentine's Day. I'm still down but about 9320. Around this time you would have probably noticed that I had an away message saying I was extremely frustrated, particularly with two ladies. I will not tell anybody who one of the people was because it ain't important who she was. The other one was Nicole. Now Nicole didn't do anything wrong but it was actually everything was going right. Her and I were getting close again and we weren't fighting (we fight like a brother and sister would like all the time usually) at all. But it was really starting to hurt me that I couldn't see her (more on that later) and I was getting so fucking frustrated that there was nothing I could do. So one day I knew that no one was home at her house and that her mom would get home before she would so I left a message on the phone saying that I wanted to talk to her and/or her husband and I left my cell phone number. Everyone who knows me, knows I hate kissing ass but that's what I did I that message. Wanna knows what response she gave me? Oh.... I got one. Nicole told me that her mom was PISSED that I called the house. So I think I have exhausted all diplomatic solutions to this problem. Now I have to make like the President and invade the house and remove the dictator from office. It took me 22 months and 12 days, but I finally am no longer a Toys R Us employee. I put in my two weeks after finally getting sick of their repeated screwings that made porn actresses grab their ass in pain. I was able to find a job with relative ease. A week after I turned in the application I was interviewed and hired on the spot. I now make $10.50 an hour working at Circuit City. The best part is that I buy everything "at cost" also known as the price that they buy the products from the manufactures. But no I will not hook anybody up with car stereo shit so stop asking. School...still there. Cute girl in English named Megan who likes Avril Lavigne (who, by the way, is going to hook up with me when she sees me at her concert next month) and there is a cute girl named Alison in my soccer class. So at least I got some motivation to go. I guess if I were to be doing something right now that might be considered a project, it's trying to keep in touch with all the people from high school I miss. Luckily I've been able to keep in touch with Big Z, Sean, Chrissy, Terri & Tammy but I hadn't been able to get in touch with Darcie at all, which pisses me off because we were hella close in high school and I could always talk to her. But I finally saw her last week because her boyfriend Jeff works at Circuit City with me (although not the same department so I don't know him) and she was in there. It made my night seeing her for the first time since grad night. I'll probably be seeing her a lot now at "The City" but it might be hard to get her number to talk to her since i don't want her boyfriend to think I'm an asshole trying to get with her girl. The only person that I haven't stayed in touch with at all now is Beth Klien. God I miss her. If anybody knows her AIM name, holler at me with it because I just miss her comedy and laugh. It was funny yet not so funny. Last week around midweek I was talking to Nicole online and I told her my theory on my life right now. I told her that all I need was a girl to make life actually god for once. I said I had a good job, my car was still running, I've had no drama with any of my friends recently and I hadn't been fighting with my parents at all (because I hadn't been home). Well just like 3 days later I had my first day off in a week. Guess what? Yeah my dad flipped out on me. He told me to clean my room and clean the bathroom and I told him I would (this was around noon). That wasn't good enough for him so he started yelling say he wanted it done now. So he unplugged my internet (which pissed me off because me & Mark were playing games, rare considering Mark has a wife) and shit like that. So I did my room and the bathroom but he didn't think my room was clean enough. I said it was and that I was done cleaning it. So he got all pissy like usual and grabbed a suitcase and threw it down in the middle of my room and emptied a drawer of clothes in it and put a bunch of other clothes in it and told me to leave. I just sat in the chair. The next day the cable guy was coming to put cable in my room (which I'm paying for) but because if some technical shit, he couldn't put it in. I had just woke up and I'm not a morning person so my dad getting on my case about my room again was not what I needed. Apparently I was being loud with him. He told me later that the cable guy said that he couldn't believe how I was talking to my dad. I asked my dad if thought I cared what a cable guy thought. My dad then said "you don't care about anything anybody says" which is not true, just I don�t care about what most people think. He also added that the cable guy is in his mid-30s and still helps out his parents because they were always there for him. I asked my dad if he wanted me to model my life after the cable guy or something. And he's still pissed at me because I haven't emptied the suitcase yet. I told him that I didn't put the stuff in there. He's generally been pissy this last week. I asked him how late I could stay out one night and he got all loud saying "I don�t care, you can come back @ 10 in the morning and get your stuff for school and go to school then for all I care." I was like wow; I just asked a damn question. So yeah. I was right that the only reason there were no fights is that I wasn't home. Thinking back it�s less funny and more sad. Speaking of family I had a hard time a few weeks back. If you look on my family page you will see no mention of my Aunt Liz or my Aunt Eileen because I haven't been in contact with them since I was like 6 or so. It had to do with drugs and shit and my family split in two, with Eileen, Liz & my Grandma on one side and my mom & my Aunt Eve on the other. There was a point where my mom and grandma hadn't talked to each other for like a year or so. But eventually my grandma reconciled with both my mom and Eve. But Eileen & Liz still weren't a part of my family. Well recently Eve and my mom have been talking with Liz and seeing her and shit. They want to get closure or something. Eileen is still crazy so she won't go near them so she's still there. But two weeks ago we were going to the cousin's get together for my cousins Sami & Cassie's birthdays. Usually its just Eve, Grandma, my mom and all my cousins. This time Liz was invited. Now when I was a kid I wanted to have Liz & Eileen in my life because I just didn't understand. Up until about two years ago I still wanted them in my life because they were supposedly clean and as much as I don't like drugs and drugees, I was willing to forgive them for their mistakes and just get on with life. But it�s not that way anymore. The cousin who I'm probably closest with is Katie, Liz's oldest daughter. I mean she is one of the people in life who I would give up my life for. But she's fucked up now though. She has so much hatred for her mom (who's divorced and remarried) and her stepfather and has a learning disability (probably because of what her mom was doing when she was pregnant). She's just wasting her life away because her mom screwed her up so bad. I mean she's now going to a continuation school, I know she's on drugs and I don't want to think about her with guys but I know that that's a probability too. It just hurts me so much that you can't possibly understand. When I looked at Liz all I could think about was how much she fucked up Katie. It just hurt so bad and it still does very much. My contact with Liz was limited to only when she came up to me when I was sitting down and gave me a hug. I didn't try and talk to her and I avoided her because I just don't know how I feel about her. I broke down during the dinner after Liz left but no one really noticed because I was putting my head down and listening to music so no one thought about it. It's just so hard knowing that Katie is ruining her life and there's nothing I can do about it and most of the fault goes on Liz. It's just too painful sometimes. Ok lets take a break from that deep crap to tell you a little story that I was told and I thought was great. There was this conversation between an Irish kid and the girl (this whole story is true). Somehow "blue balls" got brought up and he didn't know what they were. She explained it to him and he asked if she had ever done that before. She said yes. He replied with what is probably the funniest thing I've heard for hella long. His reply "You know what that would be like? It'd be like if I were to show you this cute little puppy and be playing with it in front of you and right as I was about to give it you, I SNAPPED it's neck." That's AWESOME!!!! You know who I want to be? I want to be Doc Holiday (played by Val Kilmer) in the movie Tombstone. That movie is hella good and his character is a mix of a badass and a wiseass. It's great. I have an opinion about the war but I don't feel like explaining it because it would probably confuse people since I type all weird. All I have to say is that I hope that everybody remembers to not confuse the war with the soldiers like they did with Vietnam. Because I mean I know what its like to have friend in the forces and they don�t' have a choice as to what war they fight, they just do as ordered. I really hope there isn't a backlash on the troops when they get back. Ok the last deep part of the update, I promise. I recently found out what I'm missing in my life and why I miss Nicole so much. I miss the companionship. There was just a connection with her that made me happy when I was around her. I mean I hang out with Brandi & Hallie but it�s just not the same. I don't have that same feeling of companionship. That's why I think I was so attracted to her. I mean her & I could just kick it on her porch talking for hours and I would consider it a good day because for some reason, that made me happy. And I really miss that companionship, just somebody to kick it with that makes me forget all my problems. I don't think she understands that. I mean every time I want to kick it with her I just get a no. It hurts a little bit every time she says no. I mean the connection that I have with her is so damn strong that when she called me one time (which is a rarity) that it like made my night. But I guess she doesn't understand that I just love having that connection to her as a friend. I just want someone (doesn't have to be Nicole) that I can just have that connection with; whither it's as a friend or more than a friend. Someone who I could be driving with and just be happy. Just sitting on the coach watching TV with that person would be a great night. I think theline below taken from SImple Plan's song: When I'm With You kinda sums up what I'm trying to say. I wanna feel the way you make me feel when I'm with you Woohoo. I get to go to Smackdown! on the 25th. My friend Sean got the tickets free through his work so we get to go to the last event before Wrestlemania. It'll be pretty cool because its probably the last time Hulk Hogan will be around this part of the country since he's about ready to retire. I know none of you care about wrestling but oh well. When I go up, I swear I'm going to make a movie. I already got bits and pieces of it. It's going to be a comedy about basically nothing but it'll be great. Any females who want to be in the movie have to audition privately for the nude scene ;-) I had planned to post this site update on the 20th because a year ago on that date, I started this page. Now a whole shitload of things have changed since that day but some things haven't. I would like to thank all of you who read this page and make me actually feel good that some people care about what I write and what I think. I never expected that this site would have 895 hits on it in a year; hell I didn't even know that I would have the site for a year. But yeah, thanks for coming and reading every time I decide to vent about life and other shit. Hope you all have a good couple months and I should be back around May with yet another site update and maybe a poem or two. Late. Adam |