| Jokes |
| This page proves without a shadow of a doubt that part of me is a real asshole |
| One day two blondes walk into a perfume shop. The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled ''Vien Chez Moi.'' The blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means ''Come to Me.'' So the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, ''Does this smell like come to you? 'Cause it doesn't smell like come to me.'' A blonde, redhead, and brunette were looking at a dictionary for the hardest words they knew. The brunette's word was quizzical. The redhead's word was photosynthesis. The blonde's word was dick. Q: How can you tell a blonde's been in your fridge? A: There is lipstick on the cucumber. A blonde is like a pooltable, put a dollar in and she'll rack your balls. What is a blonde's idea of safe sex? Locking the car door. Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep. A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted. Q: What is the difference between a priest and a homosexual? A: The way they say ahhhh-men. Q: Why is sex like snow? A: You never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it will last. Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get kicked out of the toy box? A: She sat on Pinocchio's face and told him to lie to her. Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Santa? A: Nothing, they both leave children's bedrooms with empty sacks! Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra? A. Because when you take it off, you wonder where her tits went! Q: What do a priest and a pimple have in common? A: They both come on 14 year old boys faces! |