Gustav Rwigley: (male, 40s) Homicidal IRS accountant that snapped tied up and gave paper-cuts unto death to those who did not balance accounts properly, also force feed them IRS Tax Code Book. Counted ballots in Florida, couldn’t deal with hanging chads— went nutty (but only once). Song: You Can Call Me Al- Paul Simon

Heather Hanover: (female, 25-27) Was Miss Nice in high school, ran off with a biker named Karrl who ruined her life. She sells cheap stuff and wieners on sticks with rose-shaped underwear. Chain smoking truck stop girl with tattoo. Song: The Rhythm of the Saints- Paul Simon

Thorp Doyle: (?, ?) Ambidextrous, androgynous contortionist, fired from Circus for a) shaving the giraffe bald, b) replacing fire-eater’s extinguishing water with gasoline and c) attempting to feed a preschooler to an eight-foot python. Song: High Life- Counting Crows

Sydney Rothschild Dancefield: (male, 20-30) totally sane and very manipulative, Sydney is a greedy a-hole. But very shrewd. Song: Love Will Come to You- Indigo Girls

Madam Tsishiki: (female, 30s?) a black voodoo lady with a dashiki (African robes) and turban. Gets up in people’s faces (especially Jan) "I know what you’re up to man, and iss no good. I have a chicken foot for you." She is the smartest person there, and is the hero. REALLY weird. James Bond of Voodoo queens. Amazonian. Always pulls things out of her turban. Non-governmental. Leaves mouse’s head in Sydney’s soup. Has big carpet bag. Song: Three Hits

Jimmy Flowers: Crew member who works with Madam T. Purser (in charge of rooms)

Adam Hendrickson: (male, 26) Heather’s boyfriend and Sydney’s second-in-command. Helped Heather get clean. Hopes to get some of Sydney’s fortune. Is completely unconcerned with Heather, just wants her ‘cause she looks good hanging off his arm.

Following Jan’s lead, Heather, Gus and Thorp will hijack the cruise ship Concrete Angel. They have no clue what he’s doing or why he’s doing it. Heather’s doing it because she’s steamed, Gus knows most of what’s going on, and Thorp is just along for the ride. Of course, Madam T has something entirely else in mind…

Janeshek: he stows aboard the cruise ship, and is going to arm it with weapons to destroy Papua New Guinea. He takes the lead and leaves them in the dark as to his real motives. You only suspect he’s crazy in the middle, and find out that he is at the end.

Gustav Rwigley: Jan’s second-in-command, Gus and Jan have been together since they ran into each other on the street in Miami three weeks before. Besides Jan, Gus may be the most clued-in on what’s going on, but he still doesn’t know much. He has a legit reason for being on the ship: a self-help seminar in Italy. Gustav cooperates with Jan because Jan has government connections to get his job at IRS back. Is using Thorp to overthrow the crew. Thorp, of course, is blinded by love.

Heather Hanover: She arrived in Miami from South Dakota, where she robbed the truck stop she worked in and painted rude messages on the under wear roses. Very hooked on drugs, but shrewd and sane. She too is on the ship because she is attending a self-help seminar in Italy (hosted by Sydney R Dancefield).

Thorp Doyle: Stowed away because it’s in love with Gustav— and because Gus said Thorp could do all sorts of nasty things to the crew. Uses women’s room.

Sydney Rothschild Dancefield: A very handsome blonde cultist, Sydney is conning his flock to get money. They are all going to a self-help seminar, and he gets a bonus for every time a certain number of "his people" get on the ship.