WARNING: This is rated a very high "R" for living up to the sexual mythos surrounding Sirens, and also for implied rape, in which things get weird. It also implies various other sexual encounters; again, things get weird.

WARNING: This is some weird shit, people. I mean WEIRD.

That done, this started as an alternate version of the episode, "Siren’s Song" which you must have seen. It didn’t stay that way long, ‘cause it turned into one of my trademark weird-smut fics.

Teela heaved her tired legs and arms through the water, tossing her head from side to side to catch a breath.

Had to make it to land.

Fog stretched its tendrils above the water, twisting and winding its way along over the lagoon’s surface like some airy snake, and Teela shuddered even as she swam.

It was close to false twilight, and had gotten cold— worse, it would only get colder. She might die of hypothermia before the sun set, a little voice whispered. She ignored it and continued to swim in the direction of the island.

Always a practical person, Teela had thrown herself into her training, and then into her duties as Adam’s body guard.

She’d never had time to truly throw herself into being a woman, she reflected as hauled herself upon the shore of the island. She lay there, feeling the gritty sand worm its way into her golden armor and reddish hair. Then, swiftly, she pulled herself upright, thinking about the fact that the island wasn’t on any of the maps she had ever seen working under Man-At-Arms.

She tried to walk a little, but fell back into the sand.

She hadn’t realized how exhausted she’d been, or how tired her mind was—she rolled herself into the water, to get off the grit—couldn’t look beautiful and formidable simultaneously, with the grit.

[Nearing sunset]

Teela moved through the forest with practiced ease, her steps almost as silent as Cringer’s own, her feet deftly avoiding any sticks or dry leaves that might alert the inhabitants to her presence. The forest was dark, and unnaturally quiet— it almost scared her that there were no birds that sang in the branches or moved through the brush, no small mammals to startle her into stillness.

And then something in the brush moved. She instinctively fell into a defensive crouch, sending her entire body low to the ground, ready to dodge or escape if need arose, and do so with speed to impress He-Man.

"I will not hurt you."

Oddly metallic and not quite human, the voice sound somewhat stilted— not robotic, no, the voice definitely belonged to a living being, but the enunciation was too clear, too concise, the tones were too clipped to be human.

She relaxed only slightly, leaving her staff ready to knock the stranger a particularly nasty concussion.

He stepped into view.

No, not human, she thought wryly, more like the embodiment of every woman’s sexiest fantasy, rolled up and served nearly nude on a silver platter.

Silvery blonde hair framed his face, a face dominated by silver eyes with man’s lips, currently curling into a smile around perfect white teeth; the face tapered into a neck, which rested atop slender shoulders, which curved into powerful arms and a narrow waist upon long legs. He was impossibly tall and slender, and about the damned sexiest man she’d ever seen.

And his eyes seemed to be hovering somewhere around her breasts.

She crossed her arms over them protectively, shivering at the calculating look in his eyes, a mixture of sex and coldness she’d never seen in a man. His eyes moved to her thighs and he reached out to stroke her cheek. Teela felt herself relax into his touch without quite knowing why, and she began sink.

She was too close to sleep to register his cold laughter.

2 [Sunset]

Teela woke nude, surrounded by blonde men with shiny white teeth and cruel, cold laughter, all quite obviously intent on driving her mad.

One ran his fingers in the cleft between her legs, causing her to shudder. He laughed as another caught one of her nipples in his teeth and began to suck. She squirmed and squealed as yet another groped her breast and a fourth ran his tongue from her navel to the space between her breasts. Another raked his hands up her back, beginning from just above her buttocks and raking up to her neck, and around her ribs.

Suddenly two others who had previously only looked on held her by her arms as the man she’d met earlier slapped her.

"Foolish human! Thinking you could possibly compare to the beauty of our people! You will not remain unpunished, mark my words!"

"I meant no offense. I didn’t mean to…" She mumbled confusedly as he glared down at her. She felt so limp, so tired, and felt grateful that the two men were holding her up.

"You dare speak to me with your croaking toad’s voice!" The man shouted. "For daring to speak to me, you shall not leave Siren lands unchanged or unmolested!"

Spiraling light, strange drumbeats…music she’d never heard before…suddenly one of them bit into the back of her neck and she cried out.

So confused…Music…writhing bodies…water snakes…she couldn’t make sense of any of it.

The one who’d bit her chewed a bit. She moaned in response, put her hand up to the wound. Someone dug his nails into her sides and she hissed in pain.

She managed to make enough sense of the scene to understand that the one who’d screamed at her was approaching, the loincloth gone.

Everything spiraled into madness.

Teela woke shivering, wrapped in a blanket and feeling ill from some sort of a bumpy ride. She was only vaguely aware of someone stroking her head; things had left her confused…

She tried to sit up, but the hand restrained her.

"Teela, what you need is rest— a good deal of it. And maybe a little common sense."

The voice was familiar, she felt as though she should know who spoke, but she was too tired to register much of anything.

He-Man. She recalled, her eyes widening in shock.

"What…how…where…" She couldn’t form a coherent sentence, damn it!

"You’re in your chambers. We don’t know what happened, and we only have theories on how you got here." He-Man said soothingly.

She screamed.

He-Man closed the door quietly as he exited the chamber. What in the name of the Elders is going on?

He-Man closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. "Swimming in a lagoon—speed training of some sort."

Man-At-Arms nodded. "I don’t think I’ve ever heard her scream like that—even when she was a child, she never cried out like that. There was pure terror in that, He-Man."

"I know." He-Man nodded, and strode off to his rooms.

Once behind closed doors, he resumed the form of Prince Adam and sank heavily onto his bed.

He paced the room, his fists clenched and face dark. There was more to this than terror, he was sure of it— she had never been terrified of He-Man— she’d always seemed to admire He-Man, so why the sudden fear?

He paused in his pacing, ignoring Cringer’s questioning look. "Bad memories?"

With that, he turned and left the room. "Come on, Cringer— we have some studying to do— on that lagoon."

The temperature of the room was perfect— not too hot, not too cold, and the sheets were soft, so why did her body pulse and ache with such heat? Her hand reached to her neck

(agony and ecstasy mixed together blood flowing from her neck someone chewing laughing falling laughing cold so cold so cold so cold)

and came away wet. Was it

(blood so much blood too much blood too much blood)

blood or

(sweat tears begging pleading scared afraid so terribly afraid so afraid)

sweat? She didn’t know, didn’t understand— worse, she was almost

(falling bucking falling so far so far down snakes music falling blindly so dark so dark)

blind. What was going on?

(so confused darkness spinning strange music like a snake)

What was wrong with her? Why was she so weak, so shaky?

(not leave siren lands unchanged or unmolested)

"Teela, just calm down. Teela, you’re hyperventilating— calm down, calm down."

(know that voice blonde tall light skin shiny white teeth falling screaming so afraid they came back they came back they came back)

She gasped, but sat up. She opened her eyes again, this time keeping them away from the men in the room, focusing instead on her lap. Adam’s hand brushed her head, just like

(hand on my head oh elders oh elders hand on my head tall blonde light skin oh sweet spirits SOMEBODY HELP ME)

He-Man’s had.

"Tell me about the island, Teela. Tell me about what happened on the island." Adam said quietly. "He-Man told me you screamed when you saw him. Tell me about why he scared you."

(Tell me tell me tell me)

That soothing litany calmed her nerves a little, and she nodded.

It took her a little while to find the words to string together, to make them understand— not to mention her voice. "I went swimming as a training exercise, I really didn’t mean to get so far from the shore. I was tired, but I saw an island, so I swam toward it. I got there, and I was so tired." She trailed off.

"Did you fall asleep?" Adam asked. ‘

She shook her head, despite the pain. "No. I just lay there a little while, then rolled in the water to get all the grit off. I got up, and started walking through the forest on the island…I met someone…" Here she frowned and paused. "Tall…and blonde. Damned sexiest man I’ve ever seen in my life. He…said he wouldn’t hurt me. I don’t remember from after that until sunset. I think— I think I woke up around sunset."

Adam nodded patiently. "Where were you?"
"On the beach? There were boulders, and sand, and water. There were little holes in the flatter boulders on the ground, big holes, like wide puddles of water…like tide pools, but without the tide and the water there all the time."

"What was going on?"

(ran his tongue from her navel to the space between her breasts) "There were…men like the one I met in the forest…but they were…strange."

"How were they strange?"

"I don’t want to talk about it," she said quickly.

"Were they mean?"

This topic was safer. "…Yes."

"What kind of mean?"

"They…one of them bit me…" she gestured to her breast, "Here. Another came up behind me and he— bit me in the neck? It started out as a kiss, I think…"

"Did they touch you otherwise?" This time it was her father.

It would be…awkward to tell them what had happened, but she owed them that respect. Besides, Adam would have to explain to He-Man; couldn’t have He-Man thinking she was a wuss. "Yes…one of them…groped me. Things got really nasty."

"Mean nasty or gross nasty?" Adam asked.

"Both," Teela replied with a shudder.

"What happened?"

"I…" She faltered, and looked away.

"If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. I understand. Why don’t you tell me what happened after that?"

"I…woke up after…I was still on the beach. Adam, I don’t understand…I’m so warm…"

Adam nodded. "That’s your fever. You’d better get some sleep."

With that, the two men left, though Adam took one last look at her before he left.

Was it his imagination, or did her eyes glow green in the night?