ode to honours
There once was a young girl who lived in Roseville
And enrolled into Honours of her own free will
For accounting she loved, though she wasn't that great
At recording expenses like postage and freight
So why not try Honours? She thought to herself
And achieve something more than degrees 'off-the-shelf'
The perfumes were heady, the summer was hot
So she filled in the forms and signed on the dot
Next autumn in March off to uni she rode
Unaware of the imminent mammoth workload
The students were bright and the syllabus big
So you see she was in for a challenging gig
Such an innocent girl, so naive and sweet
She really deserved to fall on her feet
But this is a tale both of triumph and woe
And at this stage we still have the sad bit to go
She entered the classroom with hardly a care
Unaware of what next would befall her in there
Of the torture so great it she hardly could bear
It's a harrowing story - read on if you dare ...
Of financial accounting the first class did tell
And of many assignments, the workload from hell
Had started already, she must knuckle down
To serious study of old Ball & Brown
At her management class later in the first week
Things hadn't improved, so did solace she seek
On a golf course in Lane Cove, to ease her poor mind
But that only landed her further behind
Just in case she had not yet enough things to do
Research methods formed part of the syllabus too
Here at last was a class that she really quite liked
Fit and raring to go, she was totally psyched
By April the study was really in swing
And the Honours degree was a happening thing
But in working all week and yet more on weekends
The poor lass had lost all her family and friends
The winter set in, long, dark, lonely and cold
She was surely and certainly bound to grow old
Before understanding her R2s and ts
Or how to compute Clinch's darn ERCs
Though the teachers had marked all her work with a tick
Of feedback she was now quite thoroughly sick
And of all the research on accounting in action
She'd barely review�d the tiniest fraction
Institutional theory she did think was great
But not at nine-thirty when classes ran late
With Peter the classes would sometimes run long
But still that was nothing compared to Wai Fong!
Research methods was different, sometimes even fun
In this course, at least, all her reading got done
Though Cameron's statistics could never quite be
Qualitatively fun like Chris P's history
The Empire Struck Back and the students did too
On behavioural experiments time really flew
Ken's classes conceptually couldn't upset
Mike's mind maps made management merrier yet
But despite this enjoyment, 'twas still an ordeal
Exhausted and weary she surely did feel
Lack of sleep took its toll, she was in need of rest
Honours was sure putting her to the test
Yes seriously, the young girl by this stage
Felt she'd faint if they made her read one more long page
To sanity she did cling on by a thread
And on dark days she just about wished she were dead
The one light that shone on the distant horizon
The thing that she focused her hopes and her eyes on
Was two weeks of holiday bliss in July
To pause ... and just watch the world going by
It wasn't to be, as I'm sure you'll have guessed
No wonder the lassie was feeling depressed
For her thesis proposal she had to present
(To drive her insane was no doubt the intent)
There once was a squirrel who lived in a wood
Where the acorn nut pickings were pleasantly good
Oh - what happened next to the poor girl out there?
I'm flattered you're asking
I'm so glad you care
Well fortunately for the traumatised girl
Her exams passed her by in a flurrying whirl
After nine hours of management, sleep she did seek
Not to mention financial, which lasted a week
The thesis presented, though not well prepared
(though by this stage the student was darned if she cared)
She finally took time out to rest and be glad
Without those few minutes she would have gone mad
The student reflected as butterflies danced
Her Honours career was now quite well advanced
The sun, it shone brighter that dull wintry day
With the realisation she'd made it half way!
At the auditing class even in the first week
She was reaching her high intellectual peak
But as August drew onwards she just couldn't think
And her marks in September continued to sink
The Olympics provided a much-desired break
In theory at least, for her coding did take
Several months of her life, though it seemed more like years
More than once she could gladly have burst into tears
Ah coding, most dull and repetitive chore
After each set was finished, along came some more
For the Paralympics she did then volunteer
Arrow-running injected some much-needed cheer
Roger's classes were fun, full of critique and query
(Behavioural more so than agency theory)
Still one irritation disturbed her repose
The hand-ins each week - she was sure sick of those
Feeling satisfied with her performance thus far
Though not quite of the standard in JAR or in CAR
She donned the appearance of working quite hard
Whilst covertly aspiring to life as a bard
One final class, then the course work was gone
But this she had no time for dwelling upon
She was near the last hurdle and feeling a winner
The students and staff then all went out to dinner
In the final two weeks she had so much to do
While the minutes all dragged, the hours just flew
It was time to get serious, knuckle down hard
No more leisurely evenings spent in the backyard
The thesis loomed, the thesis grind
Was occupying all her mind
She exercised her mental powers
And didn't sleep for forty hours
At long last the crunch time came round, and then went
Followed closely by rapid and blissful descent
Into tranquil slumber, and calm repose
Exquisite, like a new dawn rose
On submitting the thesis she startlingly found
That it looked quite impressive, all printed and bound
Though it finally was over, it hadn't sunk in
'Til her countenance slowly gave way to a grin
Well almost, for nothing ran smoothly that year
That it never would end, she still sometimes did fear
For the final exam was just not very nice
Not to mention locationally imprecise
But this really was it, she was finally there
She had spanned the emotions from joy to despair
And come through it all having conquered her fear
It had been an extremely remarkable year
All too soon it had come to a glittering end
Tinged with sadness, her thoughts to the future did wend
No more readings, or classes, or essays that gall
Then again, it may not be so bad after all!
While you may think this story a little far-fetch�d
I didn't exaggerate feeling so wretched
For this is my story, I hope you've enjoyed it
As much as I loved living each minute of it.
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Last modified: 26-May-02 by naf