So, even my first cousin Raffaella got hitched, at 33 and despite a seven-year attachment to someone other than the man she has married (whom she has only known for three years). I always admire and secretely envy a love that lasts. Raffaella seems serene these days, and no longer worries about her weight. She's never lived with this man, apart from going on holiday together, and has said she's now looking forward to a lifetime of "permanent holidays" ... I wish them well.
Italian bridal traditions
I did not even have the time to put down my luggage that I was asked to "help making the nuptial bed". This, according to tradition, has to be prepared the night before the wedding by the bride-to-be, the mother of the bride and the closest unmarried female relative.
Following the church wedding, the bride does not throw the bouquet to the crowd (for the unmarried women who hope to catch it), but keeps it with her at all times, not allowing anyone to touch it.
During the wedding reception, the bride and the groom distribute small gifts to all those invited, containing confetti, which are meant to bring good luck, irrespective of the marital status of the recipients.
A curious element was that some traditions were kept to a minimum not to give an opportunity to get involved to the mother-in-law, apparently still quite a powerful figure in Italian weddings!
The fashion
My cousin wore a white, very simple, long silk dress, apart from flowers pinned to her shoulder straps. She had her hair tied back and knotted with leaves. Most women wore black and the men were in grey. My aunt was voted best dressed lady for her black & white outfit and shoes, vaguely 1930s. I was the only one wearing a hat.
Me (in a hat) with the newly-weds
Mother of the Groom, Mother of the Bride
The church ceremony
It took place in a tiny church with faded frescoes, situated on top of a steep hill, reached by a narrow cobbled street.
"I will betroth you to me for ever, I will take you to the desert and speak to your heart; I will return your gift and will make of you a door of hope. There you will give me uncalculated answers, as in the days of your youth, as in the days when you escaped time. In that day you will call me Love and you will not know me by any other name ..."
(From the book of Hosea [11-14], read during the ceremony)
The music
A violinist and a harpist played pieces by Bach, Schubert and Puccini's Madame Butterfly, but also extracts from the soundtrack of the film "The Mission".
The reception
It was held at the "Santandrea Hotel" in Montorfano, a converted barn with beamed ceilings situated in a vast park full of tulips, with its own private lake and golf club. Unfortunately rainy weather prevented the celebrations to be held outside. The menu veered towards fish and the vodka sorbet and wedding cake (which was flat, not layered) were delicious.
The guests had been thoughtfully grouped according to age range and interests. My cousin kept asking me afterwards if I had hit it off with one of the photographers who, before dealing with weddings, used to be a photo-reporter and covered on a daily basis the actions and subsequent trials of the Red Brigades, the Italian left-wing terrorists, and got to know them quite well.
The Montorfano Lake
The newly-weds' home
A flat within a residential complex, formerly used as a second home by the wealthy Milanese, situated in acres and acres of woodland and completely peaceful.
House of the colour-blind - when I saw the white sitting room I thought it was stylish and minimalist, but when I discovered that ALL the rooms were white (including the furniture!) I thought there was something bordering on the pathological. All vases came in pairs and were all turned at the same angle, the roman blinds in the kitchen and the towels in the bathroom had to be aligned to perfection. "This has nothing to do with my cousin," I thought, "it is her husband's influence." I heard instant echoes of the film "Living with the Enemy". I wanted to reach for the can and spray graffiti all over the white walls. I was made to feel guilty leaving fingerprints on the newly-polished glass table, or marks on the stainless-steel surfaces of the kitchen. There was something clinical and disturbing... and the sofas were kept covered in bubblewrap! I stepped into the crisp evening air with a sense of relief.
The honeymoon
Having given up on going to Scotland due to the foot & mouth disease, the newly-weds will depart on a cruise of the Greek islands, embarking in Venice and calling at Athens, Chios, Samos, Naxos, Kos and Crete.
