NACutie...
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2/26/01: NACutie's Guide to Tournament Etiquette

Oh, my sweet fellow quiz bowlers, (and for that matter, my rancid fellow quiz bowlers), so much time has lapsed since my first posting. I appreciate all the letters I've received, even those saying "Who are you? Tell me who you are!" and "I know who you are, you know." Come to think of it, that's what almost all of the emails said. Ah well.

My last post was an emergency missive sent out before Penn Bowl; however, I've noticed since then that basic rules of decency need to be spelled out. And so here they are..

The Rules of Tournament Etiquette

1. Never inform an opposing team that you are "not STUPID, you know" when trying to resolve a protest. Such behavior may not only fail to convince them of your intelligence, but it will also lead them to the conclusion that you are an insufferable jackass.

2. Commentary during the boni of the opposing team is to be kept to a minimum and should not include either giggling or proclamations of the easiness of the bonus.

3. Do not discuss how badly you're going to beat the opposing team whilst its members are in the room; such egotism may put you in line for a big upset.

4. Similarly, do not discuss killing or mauling the opposing team, at least while they are in the room.

5. Respect the moderator and the scorekeeper. Protest all you want, request score checks, help correct stats, or whatever, but don't be an ass about it.

6. Your moderators are (hopefully) not your parents, though they may be old enough; pick up after yourself.

7. When referring to one's teammates with pronouns, try to use those of the appropriate gender.

8. Do not constitute a fashion emergency.

9. Do not become immensely and publicly fascinated with your own body at tournaments.

and remember...

10. If the rest of your team has to apologise for you, YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING WRONG.

If anyone out there can think of more rules to live by at tournaments, just email me and I'll add them on. I'm sure there are a few missing.

(Yes, many of these rules are inspired by specific teams. I could tell you, but isn't it more fun to guess?)

Next time (whenever that will be)... a list of rules to live by if you're female and on quiz bowl. If you have any recommendations (don't wear perilously low tank tops, stop that giggling, etc.) contact me, and I might let your voice be heard.

NACutie is in no way affiliated with NAQT, apart from the occasional sectional. NAQT is a registered service mark of the National Academic Quiz Tournaments, LLC.