Welcome to my world (refunds not available)
It was 2:00 in the morning and I was still on the computer, mapping out a novel that was set to change the world forever. It would catapult me out of this boring, humdrum life, and its pure genius would bring me fame and fortune and the admiration of the entire human race. They would forever onwards bow down to me and my talent and hail the manuscript as the greatest in history. I would retire on my profits of the first month alone and spend the rest of my life in the lap of luxury.
I even had a title: "Musings and reflections of the entire history of the human race, done by a human, for humans." Catchy, huh? Maybe if I stared at it long enough, I would actually get an idea.
Tick. Tock. No, not happening quite yet.
Tick.
Tock.
Come on inspiration, hit me already!
Tick...
Hmmm. The ground-breaking novel would have to wait. I was just too tired to think. Yet not quite ready to go to bed. School started again in two days and if I was to do anything at all worth mentioning in the holidays, it was going to be that I spent every available moment at the computer. If I couldn't go on holiday to Perth, well, I was just going to ruin my eyesight and destroy braincells! Hah! Take that! Damn people off on holiday...
ICQ popped up with a message. I checked it. From Jennie. Ooh, we were both being naughty little girls, staying up past our bedtimes...
"Hey Rosh! Fire on a stick! I poke you with a fire on a stick if you don't talk to me soon! Come on you monghole!!"
My reply was swift and brutal. "MY FIRE ON A STICK!!!"
Hers was even more so. "Hehehe O_o;; I luv that!!"
"Gee, you'd think I didn't know that...Hang a sec, another incoming message"
I clicked on the little globe icon that had just popped up in the corner of my screen.
"Greetings, Kchana.
Visit this site for all your dreams to be fulfilled! http://www.makeawish.com Hundreds of people, just like you, have had the opportunity and missed out. Please don't be the next!"
Makeawish.com? Hmm... cool.
A few minutes later I found myself at a nice looking site with a few friendly little graphics and some little boxes to type in text. Easily done. I stuck my tongue out and got typing.
Name: Kchana.
Email address: [email protected]
Wish: Wipe out Barney.
I went to hit the send button, but paused. Wipe out Barney? Yeah, that would be a nice wish but... it was too easy. Why wish for something that would happen eventually anyway? If I didn't do it, some other terrorist organization would. No, I needed to type in something impossible. There was no chance of it coming true, but I could still pretend. Might even give me some ideas for a fic or two. Guardian knows I needed them...
I wish.
Wish: I wish Cheetor, and my two favourite characters in my fanfics, Flash and Free, would exist in my world, only I could choose what form they were in and I was the one with power, not Free. I want them to move in next door to me because they can't stay in my house. They also need to technically 'exist' here so I don't have to come up with some wierdass excuse for them. I also want a totally booted up, reliable computer, with the fastest connection on the market and for it to be continually updated. I want my VCR fixed, my dog to live for another 20 years in prime health, B's in all of my subjects and pass my TEE next year well, get a good-paying job where I don't need to do anything all day, and for there to be a packet of chocolate lamingtons in the fridge.
Was that quite enough? I didn't think so, but I pressed Send with a goofy smile on my face and conked out then and there on the computer desk, asleep. Yes, the novel would have to wait.
My dreams that night were troubled. Killer Barney Lamingtons hunting me down with fires on sticks. "We will poke you!" They cried. "You will BUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRNNN!!" I tried to poke them back with a little fork I had in my hand but they just knocked it away and kept advancing, pushing me back!! They surrounded me with their evil little coconut eyes and little chocolate icing arms chanting "Xerox her, Xerox her, Xerox her!!"
"NOOO!!!!" My yells woke me up at my desk and looked blankly at the clock, registering that it was indeed 10:30 in the morning. Memory of the dream was still fresh in my mind and I shivered. Lamingtons! BARNEY!! Evil Barney lamingtons. Eep! To get the bad taste out of my mind I switched the computer off standby and signed to check my email. I was immediately confronted with the usual junk. Arrgh, Bravenet! I don't even use the evil service. Delete it. Joke page from Jennie. Check, delete. A thousand different messages from Anidis. Delete. Animorphs Fantastic Newsletter. I skimmed it. Delete. A new message from Makeawish.com. No delete. Click.
"Kchana,
Thank you for visiting Makeawish.com. Due to the high quantity of wishes we receive, only part of your request will be processed. Feel free to wish again at a later date.
Cheers from the staff at Makeawish.com"
I read this through once or twice before clicking the attachment. The screen flickered a few times and I smacked it. Stupid budget hardware... it flickered again and displayed a pretty picture of Cheetor eating a lamington. It flickered again and changed to one showing Flash on a computer. I stared.
Wow.
Great.
I was... impressed... in a very sarcastic way... Great service. Really.
BLAM!
My house rumbled.
"Dad?" I ran outside and saw my insane father, dynamite sticks in hand. "What'd you DO?!"
The fence between our house and the neighbours was totalled.
My dad hid the sticks behind his back. "What do you mean?" he asked innocently, edging toward the shed door. I intercepted him and grabbed the explosives before he could do further damage.
"You blew up the fence!" I yelled. "What're the neighbours going to think?!"
"What neighbours? They moved a few days ago." He shrugged and walked away, forgetting the dynamite as quickly as he had forgotten the fence. I watched him leave with an open mouth and threw the dynamite back into the shed. I'd bury it later after checking the next house. Or plant it in Nicky's room... ^_^
I stepped over what had once been a corrugated iron fence and saw that the house was surprisingly unscathed. Just a battered fence and a hole in the ground was the only evidence of there having ever been an explosion. Which was pretty strange, but maybe there just wasn't much explosive in that batch... Could have been worse ^_^;;
The house next door was the same model as ours. Exactly the same, in fact. BHP practically owned the town and this was the BHP basic model. Three or four bedrooms, one bathroom, and a huge backyard. Except in the case of this house, a humungous shed swallowed up most of the yard space. It stood open and empty. A light globe flickered inside. I stepped in to investigate and was blinded.
"Aah, I'm BLIIIIIIIIIIIND!!!" I screamed. "I can't see, I can't see!"
"Why can't you see?!" A worried voice asked. I paused.
"Because my eyes are closed."
"Wha- Then open them you idiot."
I opened my eyes and waited for them to adjust to the darkness. And then I screamed again. "HOLY HELL!!"
Cheetor blinked at me.
"WHAT THE-"
"Hey, quieten down! You don't want them to find us, do you?" he hissed, clamping a hand over my face.
"Mmm phhhmmm phhh mmm-" I pulled away and slapped his hand back. "You're really here?"
He stared at me. "What do you mean I'm really here, what are you doing here?!" He looked at me accusingly, planting his hands on his hips. My eyes bugged out at the sight of him and I was totally confused.
"This is the house next door. My dad just knocked the fence down."
Cheetor looked at me like I was nuts. "What house? What fence?!" He strode over to the door and pulled it wide open. Sunlight poured in and I was blinded all over again.
"My eyeeeeeeeeeeeeeesss!!" I howled. Above my voice, I could hear him screaming too.
"WHAT'N THE PIT?!"
"...And I think that's what happened."
Cheetor and I were sitting on the lawn next to the shed. I had just finished an explanation.
"You think your wish brought me here?"
"Yeah. Well, you're here aren't you?"
"I think so." He held up his hand and stared at it. "Last I remember I was in an energon cavern. Then you suddenly appear and start yelling and I don't know what's going on."
"I don't know either, it was supposed to be impossible! Not come true!" I felt somewhat cheated. When I expect something to not come true, it shouldn't come true! How dare Makeawish-dot-com do that to me! My entire faith in reality was in shambles... not that I ever had much faith in the first place.
Cheetor paused, staring around again. "I still don't believe it. I'm on Earth."
"You were always on Earth. Dinobot and Waspy figured it out in the second season."
"Huh?" Cheetor grunted, not even paying attention. I scowled at him and felt slightly insulted. Then again, he was here, what more could I ask for? The rest of my wish, of course... what else had I wished, anyway? Wasn't he supposed to be whatever form I wanted him to be?
I closed my eyes and wished real hard.
"AAHHHH!!! WHAT'S HAPPENED TO MEEEEEEEE??!!" Cheetor screamed.
I opened my eyes and lit up. While he stared at me in utter shock, his pale gone totally white, I couldn't resist a triumphant grin. Maybe the rest of the holidays weren't going to be so bad after all.
"I'm a human." he gasped over and over again. The poor guy was practically hyperventilating. I patted him comfortingly once or twice on the back. Perhaps a little longer than necessary. But... needless to say, Human Cheetor was hot. Of course he was, I had wished him that way ^_^ But this seemed somewhat far better than what I had hoped for... he had turned from a somewhat tall, spotted robot into a somewhat tall human with blond hair and bright green eyes. Making my selection, I had made sure that he was also dressed in something because 1) I didn't want a naked guy to suddenly appear and someone pop out and see us, and 2) I didn't think I had that much self control :Þ It was kind of a pity that the hoped for Flash and Free had not popped up, but if Cheetor had come, maybe I had also got the lamingtons at least.
"I'm human. Erk, look at me!! I don't even have my gun! What if the Preds turn up, what'm I going to do?!" Cheetor patted his pockets again and again, a frantic expression on his face. He stood up, walked around, and sat back down again. "It's such a weird feeling. Really, really weird." He poked his leg.
"Cheetor, Cheetor, Cheetor." I said soothingly. "It's a leg. And you aren't in Beast Wars world anymore. You're on Earth in the 21st century. And don't worry, I'll take care of you." Hehehehe...
"But what about Optimus?!" he spluttered, inconsolable. "Bigbot's going to notice me gone! He won't know where I am! What's going to happen to the Beast Wars? I have to go back, I have to go back! What am I going to do, you have to help me, ohnohnohno" The poor boy was in such a frenzy I did the only thing I could. I smacked him. Hard. With part of the fence. And inadvertendly knocked him out.
"Ooh..." Cheetor groaned and I sat up a little straighter, watching as he slowly returned to the land of the living.
"You're up!"
"Bigbot, I had a nightmare..." Cheetor opened his eyes wide. "And it's not over yet." He shook his head a little weirdly and frowned at me. "You're still here."
I gave a little wave. "Had to knock you out back there. You were panicking. Sorry."
He ignored me again, eyes wandering around the room. I looked at his cute little body lying on the mattress and... BAD THOUGHT, he's a robot you dumbass. I smacked myself discreetly on the head. But a cute robot...
"Matt, darling, you're awake! How did you feel?" A tall, very normal looking woman came rushing into the room and put her hand on Cheetor's forehead. She then hugged him and he was left choking with a confused expression on his face.
"Huh?!"
"Oh, I'm sorry dear. Do you feel alright? Can you see? Oh, I wanted to take you to hospital but your father and this girl thought it would be better if you just rested for a while."
"Father?!"
"Yes. Matt? Are you sure you're alright?"
"Matt?!"
Cheetor seemed more and more confused and I mercifully intercepted the woman's next barrage of questions. "I think Matt's still a little confused. The fence must have hit him harder than I thought."
"Yes." Cheetor's 'mother' looked disconcerted. "First Brendan, now Matt... what has got into you two boys? I need to go speak to your father, honey, just stay there." She pecked him on the forehead and closed the door behind her. "WHAT THE PIT IS GOING ON!!" Cheetor screamed, jumping up. I shushed him back down, gesturing to the door and signalling that he should keep it quiet. "They're your parents." I hissed. "And this is your house. And this is your room. It's quite simple."
"But my parents are on Cybertron!" he wailed. "I don't have a house! You brought me here!"
"I also wished that you'd move in next door and would technically exist." I tried to explain slowly so he would get it through his dense head. "And these people have just rocked up in a car and a moving van. As far as they're concerned, you've been here since the day you were born."
"But I wasn't!"
"According to them, you were. Those people are your parents. They even have baby pictures of you..." I grinned sadistically and he looked horrified. As he very well should've.
"LLLEEETTTTTTTTT MMMEEEEE OOOOOUUUUUUTTTTTT!!
Cheetor's eyes widened and he looked even more horrified, if that was possible. I don't know. There's nothing worse than baby photos... "WHAT-!!" I looked apologetic.
"I'm afraid that Flash is having a little bit of trouble adjusting."
"I'LL KILLLLLLLLLL YOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!" There began another barrage of thumps on the bedroom door where he was locked up.
"Alot of trouble." I amended.
Cheetor just stared at me. I grinned back. "We are going to have so much fun, we can have sleepovers and eat marshmallows and have pillowfights... and you can come to school with me!"
Cheetor began to scream as loud as Flash was screaming.
I grinned even more. Oh yes. We were going to have so much fun...