"Good morning, Cheetor!" I smiled happily at the bleary face looking out through the door. It rolled its eyes and sagged up against the frame, too lazy to stand aside let me in.
"Not school again!" he whined, contorting his face soulfully. I grinned.
"No, of course not, it's Saturday, stupid."
"And...?" Cheetor looked up in interest. I grimaced and tried to explain.
"No one goes to school on Saturday unless they're just stupid. Now where's Flash?"
"He went to school."
I snorted. "What?!"
"He's at the bus stop now." A grin began sliding across Cheetor's face. "He wanted to get away from Melissa."
"Idiot!" I smacked my head. "And what about you? How come you aren't at the busstop?"
He had the sense to look bashful. "I kinda... said I was sick."
"Cheetor!" I waggled my finger at him and tried to look authoritive. But it didn't work so well seeing as he was taller than me. " You were going to wag?!"
Blondie looked confused. "I don't have a tail." He wriggled to look back at his tail-less butt. "Humans don't have tails."
I shook my head sadly. Well, at least he was adjusting to this human body. It had been a week. "Suppose we should go get Flash then."
"GARBIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
Melissa came spinning out, turned a few circles, and rushed back in.
"Or maybe we should leave him there." I finished. Cheetor chuckled.
"Her mother got her some kind of... I don't know, Olympic Runner Barbie or some slag like that."
I nodded, knowing the feeling. Nicky had had her share of new toys. "Oh, that reminds me." I said, recalling what I was there for. "Have you gone shopping yet?"
"Shopping?" Cheetor scratched his head, frowning. "No. I don't think so. Unless Mrs Jenkinson has, but she hasn't mentioned it."
"Oh, well, I didn't think so. Go get her."
Cheetor went to get his 'mum'. I had guessed that seeing as Mrs Jenkinson knew nothing about school, she was pretty much a drone at the moment. A grotesque parody of the reality of mothers, created for no purpose than to roughly fill that role. She had no defined personality at the moment and was operating mostly on instinct with the vague idea that real mothers clean, cook and iron. I was on a mission to initiate her into the world of Woman Power.
"Mrs Jenkinson, have you been shopping lately?" I began patiently, knowing it would soon click in her 'mind' as something mothers did.
"Shopping?" she said, sounding as confused as I expected her to be.
"Yes," I nodded. "Have you been out to a large building yet and spent copious amounts of money? Shopping."
I waited for the information to sink in and a new path of programming to be set into her mind. Sure enough, there was a lurch in reality and she lost the blank look.
"Goodness, no, there hasn't been enough time, what with the move and all." She laughed. I knew she had just learnt another lesson in 'What Mothers Do.'
"Just checking."
"Yes, thank you dear." Mrs Jenkinson picked her purse up. "I don't suppose you'd like to come?"
"Sure thing! We'd better go collect Flash though..."
As Cheetor and Melissa got ready to go shopping, Mrs Jenkinson made a shopping list and grabbed a credit card from Mr Jenkinson's wallet. Once everyone was arranged (Melissa wouldn't go out without changing 'Garbie's' outfit at least three times) everyone piled into the car and went to pick Flash up from the busstop.
He was looking very worried, standing there with cars whizzing by.
"It's about time you got here." He bawled at Cheetor. "You're lucky the bus hasn't come yet!"
"Brendan!" yelled Mrs Jenkinson.
"Wha--?" Flash took a closer look at everyone seated in the car.
"Brendan, today is Saturday. You don't have school today darling." Mrs Jenkinson explained calmly.
"There isn't?!" Flash looked excited, seeing a new world of opportunity open up. The look vanished as soon as he saw me smiling and waving at him from the back seat.
"Where are you going?" he demanded, figuring out something was up.
"We're going shopping. Come on, we're in a hurry." Cheetor prompted.
"Shopping?"
"Yup! Come on Brendan, it'll be fuuuuuuuuun!" I said.
Flash studied the look on my face. He deliberately walked around to the opposite side of the car and got in.
"Good morning!" I said chirpily.
He ignored me the whole way.
When we arrived at the shops, Melissa pulled Mrs Jenkinson's sleeve sharply and pointed to the McDonalds gracing the front entrance. "Garbie wants a Happy Meal." She announced, leaving no room for argument. Mrs Jenkinsons was not trained in the art of distracting children yet. I was left thinking that she really needed to get a personality.
"Sure honey. After we drop Rachelle and your brothers at the shop, I'll bring you both back and you can have anything you want. Rachelle, do you mind staying with the boys in the shop?"
"No, it's alright." I assured her.
"Ok then, here we are. Have fun you three." Mrs Jenkinson handed Flash and Cheetor 20 dollars each.
"Thanks." Cheets and Flash said in unison.
We walked into the shop. People crowded in all directions. First stop was Kmart. If we could defeat Kmart, then there was nothing to fear. Except maybe Clare and Tanya. Hmm. We saw Clare almost immediately as we walked in, speaking to the new-look Betty.
"Hey Clare!" I said chirpily
"Oh, hey Roshy, Brendan, Matt!" Clare greeted us quite happily.
Unlike Betty.
"Aaaii!!!" She cried, before running off.
"What's wrong with her?" Cheetor asked. Flash shrugged.
"Don't you remember?" Clare prompted, looking at Flash.
"No?"
"You gave her that new haircut of hers." She explained. Flash looked enlightened.
"Oh yeah. Meds."
I giggled along with Cheetor in the background.
"Ooh, Rachelle, have you seen Jen yet? She was around here a little while ago." Clare looked around as if Jennie was around the corner. I glanced around with her.
"No, we just got in."
"Oh, well she left about 5 minutes ago. Said she was going to Trax."
We spoke a little more before I decided to drag the two off to see Jennie. I didn't trust them in Kmart alone.
"Seeya Clare, we'll check back with you later on."
"Okay, seeya!"
Clare accidentally-on-purpose managed to pelt Flash with rolled up socks as we departed.
Well, we got to Trax and found Jen looking at some rap cds. I don't get half of them myself. I prefer talking fast, not listening fast. Ask me about my whole 'mind-and-time' theory one day. Or maybe the darksuckers. I was always one for darksuckers myself... anyway... Jennie was quite happy to greet us and informed me that there was some dance competition on. Flash and Cheetor were kinda dumb on the topic of human dance so we dragged them over to see it. And again, I'm not in for dance, I prefer moving in a hyperactive way, but not in time to music.
"I'm not going to perform in this one. It's a crap stage!" Jennie announced. I nodded an 'alriiiiiiight' to her and pointed the sign out to Flash and Cheets.
"And?" Flash asked, looking from it, to the people doing spins and flips on the stage. "Oh. Interesting."
Cheetor observed for a few moments. "Looks kinda like battle." He said. "Only without the kinda, shooting and bleeding and dying kinda thing."
Well, that was an original way of looking at it.
"I could do that easily." Flash scoffed. He was smirking at some guy doing flips. Cheetor pushed him aside.
"You think so?" He barely did a run-up before executing a perfect backflip. I was impressed.
"Cats always land on their feet." He said smugly.
"So." Flash frowned, looking from me, to the dancers. "This is what fleshies do for fun?"
I could see he had a hard time putting me in the role of dancer. I felt like punching him. But he was back to observing some people doing mock-freezes in the air.
"I guess." I muttered. "Some of us, anyway. It's more Jen's thing than mine..."
Flash snorted. "What the slag... that's easy as... I could do that with one hand tied behind my back and a whole battalion of Preds gunning me down." The way he said it suggested he totally believed it.
"Oh yeah, so you're so much better than I am, huh?" The frozen dancer'd heard Flash's comment. He jumped off the stage and gave Flash a push. Flash shoved him back. I didn't actually notice until the fight got a little more heated.
"Do you wanna pieceo' me? Huh? Yeahyeah, hey, punk? You wanna (slag)ing push me around? Come on, huh, huh?" The guy was pushing Flash a little harder now and Flash was pushing right on back. The guy tried to kick Flash's feet out from under him but next thing I knew, the guy was lying on his back with a stream of blood out his mouth. Flash just stood there brushing his knuckles against his pants leg.
There was a pause.
And then the rest of the dancers cascaded off the stage.
"RUN FOR IT!!!"
About 15 minutes later...
"What are we supposed to be doing again?"
Flash and Cheetor were kinda bored. I barely glanced at them. "Go buy something."
"Buy what?" they chorused.
"Anything."
Before they could go off on another round of 'we're bored, lets do something', Tanya rushed up. From the looks of it she'd just arrived at work.
"Hey, Roshy! Hi guys!"
"Oh, hey Tan." I grinned. "Enjoying work?"
"Ergh, don't remind me. So what're you guys doing here?"
"Shopping." I stated the obvious. She was about to go on and paused when a mob of people raced past the entrance to Kmart and outside.
"What..." Tanya started.
"We're also hiding from them." I replied matter-of-factly.
"They want to kill us." Cheetor added. Tanya made a sort of, 'okayyy' face. I'm sure you know what I mean.
"Yeah. These two aren't such a fan of shopping." I admitted. "Nor of dancing, it seems."
"They sucked anyway." Flash said moodily.
"Run off you two." I replied sweetly. "Go and play. Its can't be any different than on Cyber... Cyberville."
They didn't exactly run off. Nor really walked off. More of a shuffle.
Ten minutes later I went to find them again.
"Matt! Brendan!! Where are you guys!"
I found Cheetor in the toy section. With the toys. Looking at the toys. "Uh oh..."
"Rachelle?" Cheetor held up one of the boxes, looking confused. It was a Cheetor TMII.
"Uh... yeah?" I said sheepishly.
"What's this?"
"Uh... it's a toy."
"I mean, what is it."
"It's a toy."
He tapped it. "With my name on it."
"So?"
"My name."
"And?"
"MY NAME!" Cheetor threw the box back and shifted through the other ones. "Why are there toys of me? And Optimus? And... Depthcharge? And, and, and..." he picked up another one. "And Iguanus- Iguanus? Who's Iguanus?"
"Don't worry, no one likes Iguanus."
"But-"
"Ooh, look at the GI Joe figures, aren't they cute..."
"Rachelle, there's something you're not telling me. Why are there toys of us? Maximal, Predacon, Transmetal, Transmetal Two..."
"Well..."
"Rachelle?!"
"Remember how I told you that, umm, I brought you to my world?"
"Yeah...?"
"You're a very successful TV show here."
"WHAT?!"
I have failed to mention that Cheetor had almost immediately become addicted to TV. He practically slept with it every night. Watched it every morning during breakfast. The News, Cartoons, Soaps, whatever was on, he would watch it. Had even taken to watching the Test screen at 4 in the morning before the actual TV started up. He was addicted.
"I'm on TV?!"
"Yeah. I can't believe I didn't mention it... I think I did, but you just weren't paying attention. You're on TV, and, uh... boxes." I picked one up and looked at the back. "Though might I say, these look nothing like you."
"I'm on TV!" he cried.
"Yes. Keep it down."
"I don't believe it." He gasped. "Why aren't people mobbing me? Demanding my autograph? Why not? Why not? Why not?"
He was also a fan of Entertainment Tonite.
"Uh... because you're human. And you are being mobbed..." Although the mobbage rate had reduced considerably considering that half the population of girls had expressed a sudden desire to become nuns...
"I don't like being human." He sulked. "Why can't you put me back normal?"
"Cheetor, if I actually let you go around normally, you would have been taken away by scientists now. People would be like, "AAAH!!" At least now you have opportunities to become, umm... I don't know, popular or something."
He picked up another toy. "Beast Machines Cheetor."
"ACK! No, don't say that word." I gasped. "Beast Machines is the one true evil."
He stared at the evil little plastic figurine inside. "That's me? Yuck." He put it back down. Just like he should have.
"I can show you the tapes once we get home." I offered. Cheetor thought about that.
"Definitely ultra gear."
"Right. Now, uh... you keep looking at the toys, while I go to find Flash."
I found Flash. He was looking at all the sports gear in the sport section of Kmart. He was looked very interested at the hockey sticks. Mainly probably because he was hoping to bash me over the head with it. I approached him very carefully.
"Flash... put the stick down!"
Flash barely looked at me, shrugged and put the stick down on the ground. Then he wandered off to the basketball section, studying the balls. He picked one up. Bounced it once or twice. Looked up at me. An evil grin swept slowly swept over his face and I couldn't even dodged before the ball smacked me in the guts.
"(slag)!" I doubled up in pain. "You (slag)! That hurt you (slag)ing (slag)!! Oowwwie!!"
"These human things are cool!" He drifted to the darts.
"FLASH!" I snapped, "You even think about it and those photos are not only appearing in my hand, they're appearing all over this damn shop!"
He looked annoyed. "Slagging photos."
The moment he dropped the darts I grabbed him and dragged him to where Cheetor was.
When we got there, he was sniffling quite pathetically.
"What's wrong?" I grated
"I'm... I'm... Me... I'm...." he choked. "I'M UGLY!!!!!" he almost burst into tears along with the wails. He was holding a Transmetal II.
"Hehehe..." laughed Flash. "What're you slagging about, you're already fragging ugly!" He laughed some more.
"Shut up!!" Cheetor yelled. "At least I'm on TV and at least I have toys made of me!! You're nothing!" He looked back at the toy again. "But... they're... UGLY!!!" He began to whine all over again. I was beginning to get a migraine.
"What?" Flash looked at me demandingly. "Is that true? He's on TV?? Cheetor? On TV?!"
"Yes. I explained it all to you before. Guardian, doesn't anyone listen to me?!"
"Why aren't I on TV?!"
Obviously not.
"Flashy washy, I made you up."
He looked stunned. "You what?!"
"I told you before you cretin." I groaned and smacked on of the Star Wars boxes. "You idiot!!"
"But..." Flash snarled. "It's not fair!! He gets to be on TV and have his own toys, I'll bet he's got his own fragging comic book-"
"You know, I think he actually did-"
"He gets a comic book, I get jackall! You should have left me in my own fragging world you (slag)-"
"I'm uuuuuuuggggggllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!" Cheetor's wail punctuated Flash's rant.
"-And I liked it better there anyway-" he continued
"-look what they did to my tail-"
"-and I had friends there-"
"-and my face is just-"
"at least they appreciated me-"
"-it's icky! And-"
My eyes darted back and forth for the one thing that would distract them. In a final act of desperation, I grabbed the first thing I saw...
"Cha cha cha!" The dancing bear started up. "Cha cha cha. Ooh la la!"
Both of the immature bots looked up at the bear wriggling its butt around.
"Cha cha cha! Everybody conga! Ooh la la!" the bear intoned, waving its robotic faux-fur-covered bootie.
They looked entranced.
"Conga!" I cried.
"Cha cha cha!" said the bear.
The TM II Cheetor dropped to the ground, forgotten. Cheetor grabbed for the bear.
"Cha cha cha!"
I almost fainted. He was off!
If you've never seen a guy begin to conga in the middle of a shopping centre, you're really missing out. Within moments, a conga line had formed.
"Ooh la la!" chanted the line. "Cha cha cha!"
"That is, like, so, immature." Flash said pettishly.
"Just cuz you suck. At least I shut him up." I responded. He gave me that much.
"Hey, look how much this hockey stick costs."
I stared at it. $20 exactly. I stared at him. He smiled at me. Gave the stick an experimental swing.
I am never going shopping with those two again.