A sob escapes.
The beginning of the end.
Tears fall like raindrops; never ending.
The world spins uncontrollably.
Helpless, she wantech everything fall apart.
Down, down she sinks,
into a place of darkness and depression.
She tries to get out,
but only succeeds in sliding deeper.
Out of strength, she succumbs.
Unable to stop, she sobs violently.
No help, no end.
Just terrible lonliness, hurt, pain.
Reaching
Grasping
Clinging
to the tip
of sanity.
Slipping
Sliding
Loosing
control.
My heart is yelling GO GO GO!
while my head says to stop.
And here I am
stuck in the middle.
Funny, smart and kind.
That describes here,
but because
thin, short and gorgeous don't,
she's ignored.
It's not fair.
But what is fair?
Maybe she's not as
funny, smart and kind as she thought.
Maybe everyone sees here as a
terrible person.
Maybe she is.
Conflicting emotions
collide
and explode.
Sparks fly
and fire
ignites.
The wall
of control
crumbles
and
chaos
reigns.
I hate silence.
I'm feeling down, kind-of shook,
have ot giev life a better look.
I sit in the dark, I want to scream,
life's so bad it's like a dream.
My boyfriend said his last good-bye.
My cousin's death and I wonder why.
No one calls me, I'm without a friend,
it seems this day will never end.
Sitting in the dark I think things through,
it can't be real; it can't be true.
Silence eats and rots away,
every hour of every day.
Silence haunts me day and night,
Everything's wrong, nothing's right.
I hate silence.
rules my life.
Sick, tired bored,
I'm there,
giving my all.
But do I get noticed?
Nauseated coughing crying
sweathing screaming
How much more am I to give?
How much more can I give
before
DRAMA
ruins my life?
Wild eyes,
like a crazy persons.
Insane rantings
of someone who's nuts.
ME!
Wasted years.
Wasted tears.
Wasted dreams,
or so it seems.
Wasted time
on this stupid rhyme.
One slice of the knife,
Wasted life.
so full of emotion
they get lodged in my heart,
and kill me.
like a knife
stabs my heart
and comforts me.
Trapped again,
victim of the
whirling delusion
in my mind.
I'm in a spiral.
It never ends,
but sometimes
I'm stronger than
the undertow...
and I can stay
above the surface
of false dreams.
Right now,
the current has
a tight hold on me,
and I'm slowly drowning
in my fantasies.
I must regain control.
It's the only way
we can remain
friends,
and I can remain
sane.
I'm searching
for my rope of
reality.
I hate silence.
Silence means a change to think,
to remember, to analyze, to contemplate
all I've done worng and all I will do wrong.
It means time to cry,
to be lonely, regretful, miserable
about how I have dealt with things and how I will deal.
It means longing,
a sense of need, yearning, desire
to be someone else -- somebody happy.
Silence means having to face myself,
to realize, acknowledge, to accept
me as I am, and as I always will be.
I hate silence.
Because I'm fat,
no one can see
the real person
inside of me.
Because of weight
they don't care
about the person
that's really there.
Because I'm large
people don't try
to find the person
behind these eyes.
Because of size
they don't find out
what I often
think about.
Because of this
life's not fair.
If they'd take time to look
they'd find I care.
I care what people
think of me.
If they'd only look closer
that's what they'd see.
A quiet time.
A time of regrets
and sorrow,
pain and longing.
A time of reflection, soul searching.
A time to ask questions.
Not of you, not of anyone,
but of myself.
A time to go in circles,
looping back to the
beginning.
A waste of time.
