Boy meet girl.
(On a screen.)
They talk.
(Using their fingers.)
They laugh.
(lol?!?!)
They kiss.
(In asterisks.)
He asks her to be his sweetie.
(Cyber that is.)
She says yes,
and cries.
(Virtual tears.)
He sends her flowers.
(www.virtualflowers.com)
They go out each night,
(to the Loft)
and spend time together.
(A country apart.)
They share secrets.
(PRIVATELY whispers to)
He says wait for me.
(In RL.)
She says yes,
and cries.
(Real tears of happiness.)
Then something happens.
(In cyberspace.)
He cheats.
(In asterisks.)
She finds out.
(Through email.)
And she cries.
Could it be
that after only a few weeks
your face is fading from my mind?
You are still there,
but the details aren't as sharp;
your face isn't focused.
Once in a while
you'll vividly flash
before my eyes.
And I reach out for you:
to hold you, kiss you,
never let you go.
But you slip from my
grasp and disappear.
I cry out for you,
but even your voice is distant.
Could it be
that I'm forgetting you?
I cry
ascending the stairs
of our relationship.
Remembering the soft touch,
the gentle kiss,
the warm embrace.
I am out of breath.
The speed at which
everything changed -
changed back -
leaves me spinning
and in danger of
falling.
This used to be my best tiem
for writing poetry.
But tonight, as the phrases and thoughts
run through my mind, I can't seem
to write them down.
There is no point.
Without you here to read them,
they're as meaningless as the tears
I refuse to shed.
None of it matters without you.
And yet, the words flow...
to mingle with the tears
and the fall silently onto the paper -
scarring it for eternity.
It will never be the same.
I don't know what that means;
what will chagne, what will stay the same.
There is so much I don't know.
I don't know if you'll ever read this...
I don't know if you'll even care if you do...
But worst of all, I don't know if you
love me.
It seems that I've always known that...
since the beginning of time.
Always.
And suddenly, it's all change.
And I don't know if you love me anymore.
How do I deal with that?
I just want to curl up in the darkest dark
and stay there forever.
Alone.
With no one I can hurt and n one who
can hurt me.
Alone.
Always.
The way things were meant to be.
I tried to memorize things I did not know.
I tried to memorize happiness.
I tried. And I failed.
And now, my words and tears run
together...
useless to everyone but me.
For they botha re my friends...
my only friends.
Next time I find myself trying to achieve
the impossible dream of happiness,
my friends will be here to remind me how
stupid I am for trying.
But, they will also comfort me.
The pain will be there to protect me, like
always.
The pain, the tears, and the darkness.
Always.
(for Fay and Juno)
A love that seemed unbreakable
crumbled.
And the pieces that were left
were small, scattered
and sharp.
They flew out
across the globe
to hurt many.
None of it was
meant to turn out this way.
And yet it did.
Emotions run high.
Things are said.
Things that have to be said,
but things that hurt.
All from a love
that seemed to spring
from the pages of a story book.
And now we all pray
for some sort of
HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
But is there such a thing
in love?
Calms, quiet tears.
Tears that hurt,
that burn deep.
Tears that are
hard to shed.
For they are
tears of acceptance.
As I rock slowly
back and forth
on my bed,
holding my teddy bear,
I let go...
Calmly and quietly
as I cry.
It seems as i
we're in a maze
of mirrors.
At every turn
I see a different you.
I no longer know
which one
(if any)
is real.
Your words echo
in my head.
Your voice bounces
off the mirrors
but seems to
come from
only one
image.
But I am
afraid
to touch it.
For if it is not you,
but rather a piece
of cold glass,
my illusion will shatter.
Why do I make it
so hard
to be in love?
Why must I
push
until he's gone?
Why do I take it
all
so seriously?
Love should be
light and airy
and fun.
But it's not...
Maybe I
don't know
how to
love.
between a
friendship
that is wonderful
with a man
I love
and
a relationship
that is starting
with a man
I love.
When I write is down,
the answer seems
simple.
But its not,
because I'm
torn...
