Things
to do when you're bored at Wal-Mart:
*The views expresses hear are not neccesarily those of Nate. Do not take it out on him if you do not like some of them.
This is extra funny for me b/c I
used to work at Wal-Mart (twice).
1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute
intervals throughout the day
2. Put M&M's on layaway. (Sorry,
you can't put perishables in layaway)
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone,
"I think we've got a Code 3 in house wares," and see
what happens. (There is no
such thing as a Code 3. Say "Code White." It means
associate/customer accident.)
4. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off
and turn the volumes to "10." (But you can only get one station from
inside Urbana's Wal-Mart)
5. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. (This will get you kicked out of
Bellefontaine's Wal-Mart. Rick & I tried it.)
6.Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the rest
rooms.
7. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
8. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll
only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
9. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,
"Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
10. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror
while you floss your teeth.
11. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale
battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men
12. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
13. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask
the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
14. Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest
rooms.
15. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
"Mission Impossible."
16. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the
store.
17. Sit on a chair and read a book for hours.
18. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through,
say things like "pick me! pick me!!"
19. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the
fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices
again!"
20. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that
you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella
in it.
21. Go into the dressing room and yell real loud..."Hey,
we're out of toilet paper in here!"