In case you needed further proof that the human race is
doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions
on consumer goods.
- On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while
sleeping". (Gee, that's the only time I have to work
on my hair)
- On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No
purchase necessary. Details inside". (Evidently, the
shoplifter special)
- On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like
regular soap." (And that would be how. . . ?)
- On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving
suggestions: Defrost." (But it's *just* a
suggestion)
- On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of
box): "Do not turn upside down". (Oops, too
late!)
- On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating". (As night
follows the day . . .)
- On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not
iron clothes on body". (But wouldn't this save even
more time?)
- On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not
drive a car or operate machinery after taking this
medication". (We could do a lot to reduce the rate
of construction accidents if we could just get those
5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
- On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause
drowsiness". (One would hope)
- On most brands of Christmas lights: "For
indoor or outdoor use only". (As opposed to what?)
- On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be
used for the other use". (I gotta admit, I'm
curious).
- On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains
nuts". (NEWS FLASH)
- On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3:
Fly Delta).
- On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this
garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame
the company I blame parents for this one).
- On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to
stop chain with your hands or genitals". (Was there
a chance of this happening somewhere?) And you know they
wouldn't put that there unless somebody did it. Thats the
stupid part!