Things I Wish I'd Known Before I Went Out In The Real World
1. Any and all compliments can be
handled by saying "Thank you".
2. Never give yourself a haircut (or shave) after three
margaritas.
3. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it
doesn't move
and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use
the tape.
4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier
to eat
crow while it's still warm.
6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her--believe it.
7. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
8. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable
because of
someone else gives them power and makes them the winner.
9. Be really nice to your friends. You never know when you are
going
to need them to empty your bedpan.