"Foot In Mouth Disease" At It's Best! 
 
  
  
 This isn't right. This isn't even wrong!"
 Wolfgang Pauli 


"Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl."


 Mike Adams 

"I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up."
 Mark Twain, "The Innocents Abroad" 
  
  
 "But in our enthusiasm, we could not resist a radical overhaul of the system, in which all of its major weaknesses have been exposed, analyzed, and replaced with new weaknesses."
 Bruce Leverett, Register Allocation in Optimizing Compilers 

"There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence."
 Jeremy S. Anderson 
  
  
 "He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace."
 John Mason Brown, drama critic 

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away -- and barefoot."
 Sarah Jackson 

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception."
 Groucho Marx 
  
  
 "Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses."
 H. L. Mencken 

"The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep."
 Clinton aide George Stephanopolous on Larry King Live 

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
 Hillary Clinton on the release of subpeonaed documents 

"The central problem of politics: Do you paint simplistic pictures that make people act (and leave them with too simplistic a view of the world) or do you paint baffingly shaded and contingent scenes that leave people paralyzed by indecision?"
 Brian Eno 

"Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?"
 Will Rogers 

"Once there were two brothers.  One ran away to the sea, the other was elected Vice-President, and nothing was ever heard of either of them again."
 Thomas Riley Marshall, Recollections 

"The Declaration of Independence, the words that launched our nation-1,300 words. The Bible, the word of God-773,000 words. The Tax Code, the words of politicians-7,000,000 words-and growing!"
 Steve Forbes 
  
  
 "We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare.  Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."
 Robert Wilensky, computer science sage. 

"It's not true that life is one damn thing after another -- it's the same damn thing over and over."
 Edna St. Vincent Millay 

"Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? Is it because we're not the person involved?"
 Mark Twain 

"Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic."


 Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass 

"Well, for those who like that sort of thing I should think that it is just about the sort of thing they would like."
 Abraham Lincoln 
  
  
 "Half this game is ninety percent mental."
 Former Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark 

"By the time they had diminished from 50 to 8, the other dwarves began to suspect 'Hungry.'"
 Gary Larson, The Far Side 
  
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."


 Dan Quayle 

"Failure is not an option.  It comes bundled with your Microsoft product."
 Ferenc Mantfeld 
  
  
 "Like many other men, I felt that marriage was like going to a restaurant.  You ordered what you wanted, but when you looked over at the guy next to you, you wish you had ordered that instead."
 Leslie Nielsen in Clarence Darrow - A One Man Show 

"The police are not here to create disorder; they're here to preserve disorder."


 Former Mayor of Chicago Daly 

"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on."
 Samuel Goldwyn 

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."
 a Congressional candidate in Texas 

"The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it's only the people that make them unsafe."
 Frank Rizzo, former Mayor and Police Chief of Philadelphia 
  
  
 "Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing."
 Dick Brandon 

"I want to be in what you're wearing."
 Elisha Dickstein 

"Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best."
 Woody Allen 

"The problem with people who have no vices is that you can be fairly certain that they have some pretty annoying virtues."
 Elizabeth Taylor 

"[Sir Stafford Cripps] has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
 Winston Churchill 

"The two most abundant elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity."
 Harlan Ellison 

"Never under estimate the power of human stupidity."
 Robert Heinlien