These are all stories that I've either had a hand in or know who did it. Here in Iowa there are four unprotected species of animal: the European starling, the house sparrow, the common garter snake, and the timber rattler. Although snakes might present an opportunity now and again, unless you go looking for them, they generally don't show themselves that often. Starlings and sparrows are much easier to come by, and they can definitely be a pest at times. I've heard that other states have even bigger lists of unwelcome visitor birds. Pigeons and crows come to mind. I don't believe they are illegal anywhere. I've heard that crows are actually protected in Wisconsin, as a migratory bird. (Anybody know if that is true?) Both species are still high on the list of opportunity for air rifle shooters around here looking for varmints.
Sometime ago, a friend of mine moved into an old house that had sat vacant for many years. This was a tall structure that had those large rounded gutters. Great hordes of pigeons had moved in there and treated my friends new house as if it where their own. Even staying on after he had cleaned the gutters and patched up the walls and roof. The pigeons would be making their pigeon noise and then large piles of bird poop would accumulate at various points about the house. Well I told him he needed an air rifle. This made great sense to me, just pop off a few of those birds, and the rest would eventually take the hint and move along. So he got a Marksman model 45 and we had a few sight ins in the basement. Next thing I was hearing about pigeons dying nearly every day. And then it stopped. So one day not to long after that, I asked how the "roof aversion" program was coming along. It seems he had met one of his neighbors from across the street and down the block a bit. They got to talking about things. His neighbor was really into raising pigeons...Another fine air rifle delegated to basement duty.
Now if you are going to do the job right, you really should know what your target looks like. A house sparrow, sometimes called the European sparrow, can look a lot like many other native birds, particularly some of the finches. The house finch ought to be on the unprotected list, but currently isn't. The cowbird and the grackle both can be mistaken for the starling. So if you are going to shoot varmint birds with some pride then you really should know your proper target. If not, well like they say, If you are going to shoot out of season, you might as well shoot the hens too.
Shooting sparrows off the bird feeder can be a great Winter time sport. I have never in my zest for action shot the window in attempting to get a bird, but I do know people who have. My feeder does have a sizeable hole in it where I shot a starling. I couldn't believe my luck one day. A big starling sitting right there at the feeder making a total nuisance of himself. Seems I had all the time in the world to take the screen down, open the window fully, set up the shoot, squeeze the trigger carefully. The bird dropped like a brick hit it. But then there it was, the shot had gone clean thru the bird and took a chunk out of the corner of my plastic bird feeder. Damn. Those RWS model 36's can be nice; but for a close in shot next time I'll use the kid's gun.
Not a true air gun story this one, but there was this old gal I once knew, (I had met her working out in a gym of all places. Apart from being already married and 30 years to old for me, I was very much impressed by her) who had some starling problems too. She lived out in the country and could essentially deal with pesky birds however she felt like. Well she had this m1911-A1 (a colt manufactured semi-automatic pistol that the US Army used for years and years) that she had from when she used to shoot bullseye pistol matches A .45 ACP is a bit overkill for starlings, and obviously would chew up your feeder pretty good too. But then we do have our favorite weapons. Well after swatting more than a few birds, it suddenly dawned on this woman that she never had to pick one up and dispose of it. There were never even any feathers around. Hmmm, this was kind of perplexing. So the next bird she shot, she tied a bottle to it with a piece of string and then just kept the windows open. Sure enough later that night she heard the bottle drop and turned on the light. There was this big opossum eating the starling, head first, feathers and all.
The farthest bird shot that I'll believe, is a crow shot at 60 yards with a 20 cal Sheridan pellet gun (pumped to a full ten pumps of course). Supposedly the crow just fell over and didn't get up. Now I can recall shooting a starling in a tree at about 12 to 13 yards (ie: usual can't miss range) and then nothing. The bird just sort of twitched and then sat there. His friends all left, but he stayed. This was with my model 36 again. Well, time to put another pellet up the pipe and try again. By the time I had done that, the bird had dropped down two branches, and then another two, and then another, and then it hit the ground. Dead. A melodramatic starling.
One house I used to live in had sparrows that would rest on the very peak of the house that was just above the back door. They would sing their "can't shoot me" song and leave a pile of poop on the door mat. Being that high I didn't want to shoot them, because if I missed (yes it has happened) my pellet would probably land a block away. No doubt in the middle of someone's window. And then one day it came to me. I'll take that bird out straight up. Just one problem, how would I know when it would be there? Whenever I came in thru the back door I would look for it. If it was there I'd load my gun and then end up shooting the pellet into the dirt because the bird wouldn't be there when I opened the door again. Until one day there it was. POW what a shot, a most gratifying puff of feathers and then get out of the way fast cause the bird came straight down at me, hit the door mat and bled and bled. Little sparrows shouldn't have so much blood in them to clean up afterwards. After that I never did see another sparrow there.
Some birds instinctively know where to be. I had some sparrows nesting in my garage, right over the hood of my car. Well I'd take the nest down and the birds would put up another one all over again. So after doing this about twice (that seemed enough to me) it was air gun time. Now my garage roof has spare guttering and fencing and such propped up on the joists. I also didn't want a hole in the roof to let the rain in. So it was kid's gun time. Back then they had a Marksman Biathlon Trainer; a gun with a terrible trigger that only lasted about 500 rounds, and that after being sent back once to the factory to be repaired. But anyway, birds sure seem to know where to go not to get shot at. I thought I'd never corner that bird into a non-essential area to shoot it. Glad I only had to shoot one. It's partner never came back.
For the writing of this article no innocent animals were wounded, maimed, killed, or
otherwise inconvenienced. All were found guilty first, via the time honored method of
trial by execution
(If you are dead, you were guilty, only the innocent go free - until next
time). Many animals were then eaten afterwards, although none by humans.
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Most recent update 27 DEC 97
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