You know you're a utility monitor if...

You find fishing boat conversations interesting.
You knew there was a search & rescue last night off Newfoundland, but didn't know the house down the street burned down last week.
You hope the space shuttle launch is scrubbed so you can listen to the launch again tomorrow night.
You think real SWL's never listen in AM mode.
You know the names & ranks of crewmen on board USAF aircraft, but don't know the name of your neighbor next door.
You've ever copied down an entire numbers message sent by the Lincolnshire Poacher.
You're genuinely baffled that SWBC listeners don't know what the North Atlantic air traffic control freqs are.
You've spent hours monitoring FUF in RTTY repeating its RY tape hoping to see some actual traffic.
You can actually decode EAM's.
You think there should be a button on all HF receivers marked "ALE."
You've ever called in sick to work because the DEA & Coast Guard were chasing drug smugglers.
You can remember the freqs for New York/Gander Volmet but not your mother's phone number.
You want to go on a cruise just so you can listen to the HF phone patches of your fellow passengers.
You know when wars start before CNN does.
You miss the days when news photos were sent over HF FAX.
You've listened to an aircraft over the ocean relaying information about a sick passenger while a family member needed to go to the hospital.
You know the locations of some number station transmitters but can't remember what country Deutche Welle is from.
You know that "cambio" means "over" in Spanish.
You have no idea what synchronous AM is, nor how to operate it.
Your wife just can't understand why you like to listen to static for long periods of time waiting for a voice to pop up on the air.
You've gotten up at/stayed up until 4 AM to listen to a space shuttle launch.
You live in Tampa, Florida and listen to WFLA on 25870.
You didn't watch the Olympics, but listened to the SHARES net operating in Salt Lake City.
You can correctly identify any digital data mode, including shift & speed, by ear.
You wish the FCC would get rid of all the CB freebanders from 27405-28000 so more military & government stations would start using the band again.
The UDXF list limits you to five posts per day.
Your copy of WRTH or Passport to World Band Radio, if you have them, are at least five years old.
Your family & friends think it's just a matter of time before the feds come & get you because you heard Air Force 1 over the radio.
Your wife has twin daughters, and you want to name them Hilda East and Hilda West.
You think war movies would be better if when they showed the radio operator, a subtitle would pop up with the frequency he's using.
The NSA asks you for information.
You actually get these jokes.