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The Complete Sardarji Encyclopaedia
** The Complete Sardarji Encyclopaedia **
 A Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."
*****************
A Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to
Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
"Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up.
****************
EMPLOYMENT..
Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly
filled the columns titled
NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.
Then he came to the column "Salary Expected" :
He was not sure as to what to be filled there.
after much thought he wrote : Yes
*******************
A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
*******************
A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in
Rajasthan, but two days later disconnected it because he was getting
complaints like
"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai"
********************
What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies
He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!
*****************
What will a sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper
?
(he already has one and he wants one more..)
He takes a photcopy of the white paper !!!
*****************
Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie? Because below 18 was not allowed.
*******************
How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence? Stick a tire pressure gauge
in
his ear
*********************
What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you? Pull the pin
and
throw it back.
*********************
What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
******************
How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday? Tell him a joke on
Wednesday.
*********************
What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.
********************
Why do Sardars work seven days a week? So you don't have to re-train
them
on
Monday.
********************
Why can't Sardars make ice cubes? They always forget the recipe.
*********************
How did the Sardar try to kill the bird? He threw it off a cliff.
******************
What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.
****************
What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes? The back of his
head.
****************
What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer? Just-beer Singh ('T'
silent!).
****************
What do you call a sardar who has only one drink? Just-one Singh.
******************
Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms? They think their
picture is being taken.
*****************1
Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.
***************
How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax? It has a stamp on it.
****************
Why can't Sardar dial 911? They can not find the eleven on the phone
****************
How do you get Sardar on the roof? Tell him the drinks are on the
house.
***************
"Oh, look at the dead bird." Sardar looked skyward and said "Where,
Where?
**************
What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common? You always hear about
them
but
you never see them.
**************
Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a
regular
one?
You have to hollow out the head.
*************
TO LOSE WEIGHT..
The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300
days,
he would lose 34 kilos.
At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had
lost
the weight, but he had a problem. "What's the problem?"asked the
doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from home."
*************
TRAIN TO LUDHIANA..
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station.
Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?"
"No," answers the Railway man.
"and I?" asks Gani Singh.
**************
A sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start
approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "kyon
sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai"
Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai
lekin
voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "
*************
Sadarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes
along
some wine and chicken with him.
Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?"
Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"
******************
Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started
thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing,
what
are you thanking God for ?"
The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't
riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing
too."
**************
Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate
"Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese."
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?"
" Aah, Sardarji read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on
the
Earth now is a Chinese."
***************
Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to the outer space.
The ground control issues commands "Rubi!"
"Woof!" ( its the barking sound )
"Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!" "Moti!"
"Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!"
"Sardarji!" "Woof."
"Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"
**************
Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered,
"I
was
ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the
phone I
accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in dibelief. "But ..what happened to
your
other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back."
*****************
A sardar was walking along, when he looked up to observe a bird flying
overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over
him.
The sardar says, "Good thing that cows don't fly."
******************
A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I
borrowed a
book last week, but it was the most boring I've ever read. There was no
story whatsoever, and there were far too many
characters!"
The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our phone
book."
***************
Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all
around his living room.
Jasmeet: "What are you searching for?"
Santa: "Hidden cameras!"
Jasmeet: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?"
Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few
minutes
he keeps saying 'You are watching the Star World channel' How does he
know
that?"
*************
A sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up
and
says " Hello, how did you know was here?"
***********
How many sardars does it take to pull off a kidnapping?
Six. One to kidnap the victim and five to write the ransom note.
*****************
Why are sardar secret agents the best in the world?
Because even under torture they can't remember what they have been
assigned
to.
****************
Did you hear about the sardar who signed all his checks so no one else
could
use them if he lost his checkbook?
*************
Did you hear about the sardar who asked his friends to give him all
their
burnt out light bulbs?
He just bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.
************
Banta Singh was painting his living room one hot day.
"Why", his friend Santa Singh asked him, "are you wearing two
jackets?".
"Because," said Banta Singh, "The directions on the can said to put on
two
coats."
******************
A sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle
of a
highway.
On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the
following day less than a mile.
Then the foreman asked the sardar why he kept painting less each day,he
replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther
away
from the paint can."
******************
We're almost there," said the Santa Singh to Banta Singh. "See those
two
houses over there... mine's the one in the middle!"
****************
Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge? They're there
for
those who don't drink.
************
Why do sardars have see-through lunch box lids?
So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to
work or
coming home.
***************
A sardar's response to the comment, "THINK about it!":
"I don't have to think-I'm sardar!"
*************
Sardarji ( to doctor ) : 'Doctor, I have a problem.'
Doctor : 'What's your problem?'
Sardarji : 'I keep forgetting things.'
Doctor : 'Since when do you have this problem?'
Sardarji : 'What problem?'
*************
Why couldn't the sardar write the number "eleven"? He didn't know which
"one" came first...
******************
Why does a sardar only change his baby's diapers once a month?
Because it says right on the box "good for up to 20 pounds."
******************
Did you hear about the sardar skydiver? He missed the Earth!
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