Rachel's Blog
This is my blog and my struggle with my eating disorder and associated issues.
update
photo

I just realized I haven't updated in a while, been struggling a lot recently, but hanging in their.  I just got through a pretty bad binge/ purge ( sometimes) cycle. I say sometimes because I was able to resist it part of the time which is huge for me.  Back into restricting again, but it's way less chaotic and less depressing.


Stuff I've found that helps: calling the distress line that's what actually stopped my cycle I haven't binged since then. I was just fed up and I had to work and I wanted to die, but somehow i  got through it and went to work.  At break I bought laxitives but the after work I returned them and got my money back , that was so hard but I think a step in the right direction.


It's a daily battle and I didn't realize how much it effects everything, the other day I went to a bridal shower , and  everything was chocolate , everything and I was sitting their wishing I could eat some. I wanted to be normal , I felt anxious the whole time about the food and stuff and just being around lots of people is hard for me.  Though I know I couldn't just eat one, because well chocolate is a huge binge trigger for me and I had just gotten out of the cycle so I'm like no I need to not eat it since I would have just thrown it up anyways. So I ate some fruit.  Sometimes I don't think people know how much eating disorders effect us, it effects everything, social life, since like every social gathering invovles food.  There's many times when I cna't sleep at night because I'm so hungry but I'm terrified of eating something because I don't wanta binge/ purge.  It's a vicious cycle.  The picture I added to the blog is so true.

2007-06-27 14:08:42 GMT
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