Just a few of the many things I hear on a daily basis..
"The way I see it, if you shank something and it lives, it becomes better than it was before"
"Cheerios are really just donut seeds"
"Men need women in order to survive. Without us they would shrivel up and die. Women, we don't need men. We have dogs"
"When I grow up, I want to be a pirate. I want to captain a ship run by midgets and own my own island where there's circus music playing all the time. And every few minutes, you'll hear "arrr!" and I really don't care if it pisses off the neighbors"
"Are you sure that Islam isn't a country?"
"I don't like to do alot of things when I am supposed to do them. Usually I just prostate alot"
" I'm aware that drinking doesn't take away my problems. But when I'm completely wasted off my ass, I only have one problem on my mind. "Now look at what you've gone and done! You're drunk again!" "
"Why the hell would you want to make a penis out of paper mache? Are you planning on using for something?"
"Don't mind me. I'll just sit here and braid my pubic hair until you're done talking"
More To Come!!