Sprinkled all along the Pennsylvania, New York and New England highways, diners are a slice of  mid 20th century Americana that remain today. The regulars are loyal and swear by the traditional home cooking….
 

Patsy: The special today is: the open Roast Beef sandwich, tato bites, creamed spinach and a slice of shoofly pie.

Harry: (looking over menu) Is that with gravy?

Patsy: Now Harry you know darn well Bob puts lots of gravy on the open Roast Beef.

Harry: I'll have the special then.  And tell Bob... I'd like gravy on my tato bites too.  Any special charge for that Pats?

Patsy: Don't start with me, Harry. Who's been putting gravy on your tato bites for the past 23 years?  You just relax. Bob'll make sure there is plenty of gravy if I have to ladle another cup or two on myself.

Patsy: GET ME ONE SPECIAL! FLOAT IT!

(Customer walking in diner)

Patsy: Hey Fred.

Fred: Hey Pats!  Cold day out there!  Start me off with a hot cup of coffee, will ya?

Patsy: Nearly poured Fred.  You having lunch?

Fred: What's the special?

Patsy: The special today is: the open Roast Beef sandwich, tato bites, creamed spinach and a slice of shoofly pie.

Fred: I thought Bob always had au gratin potatoes with the open Roast Beef.

Patsy: He fried tato bites today.

Fred: Hmmmm..... I like the gravy on my au gratins.

Patsy: I'm sorry Fred.  Have the chicken dumplings.  You like that.

Fred: Not on special though is it?

Patsy: No Fred.  Sorry.

Fred: Just give me the special.  Have Bob put gravy on the tato bites and spinach then.

Patsy: You got it Fred.

Patsy: GIVE ME ANOTHER SPECIAL BOB. FLOAT IT!

Fred: Hi Harry.

Harry: Hey Fred. I heard your truck pulling up.

Fred: Yup.... I'm gonna fix the brakes soon.  Just haven't had time to drive 40 miles to the nearest mechanic now that Dave's Garage closed down.

Harry: I know it.  My muffler is nearly shot.  I miss Dave.

Fred: Yeah.... He could fix anything.

Patsy puts the specials out and grabs the pot of gravy.

Patsy: Who needs more gravy?

Harry: (looking over his plate which is immersed in gravy) Let me eat down a bit. It'll overflow.

Fred: Same here.

Patsy: OK boys.  Now look, Bob's got plenty here. Don't be shy about speaking up.

Bob: (yelling from the kitchen) I've got plenty of gravy back here!  You fellas eat up!

Fred and Harry: Ok Bob!
 
Customer comes in.

Patsy: Hey John!  Grab a seat.

John: I smell gravy..... What's Bob making today?  The chopped sirloin?  His open roast beef sandwiches?  The Salisbury?  Maybe the beef tips? Or...

Patsy: The special today is: the open Roast Beef sandwich, tato bites, creamed spinach and a slice of shoofly pie.

John: Hey Fred, Harry..

Fred and Harry: Hey John.

John: Oh the opened Roast beef... hmm.... Millie said we were having a roast tonight with potato filling and gravy.  So I don't know.  Hate to have the same thing for dinner and lunch. (thinks a second.)  How about having the special, but just make it a gravy sandwich?  No roast beef.

Patsy: That's fine, John.  I'll give you an extra slice of butter bread, too.

John: You're gonna spoil me Pats.

Patsy: ONE SPECIAL BUT SPARE THE MOO!
.
Harry: I'm ready for more gravy now Pats.

Fred: Same here.

Patsy refills their plates to the brim with gravy.

John: I just got back from visiting Norm in the hospital.

Harry: Oh how's he doing John? I've gotta run by and see him later.

John: He's doing OK.  He's one lucky guy.  Doc said it was a miracle his heart could pump anything through those arteries.  But he's gonna make it.

Fred: Glad to hear it. We can't lose anymore of our poker buddies this year.

John:  Yeah its been a rough year... three… three of the best guys you’d ever hope to know in one lifetime… all gone now.

Harry: (takes a deep breath) Yeah.... Its been a terrible year.  Nearly as bad as the year before, but not quite.

Patsy brings out John's lunch.

Patsy: Now who needs gravy?

Bob: (yelling from the back) I'm making more gravy!  There's plenty!

Fred: Not here Pats...ready for that pie. (yelling) Bob, the gravy was delicious as usual!

Harry: Bring on the shoofly.

John: We've been so busy at the mill. I've had to work an extra shift the past few weeks to fill in until we can get a replacement for Tony.

Harry: They still haven't found anyone since he… (sighs)?

John: Its near impossible.  Its sad really.  When Millie and I moved here 30 years ago this was a growing little community with fine neighbors, and the mill kept everyone working.

Harry: I know it. Even this place has slowed down.

Bob: (yelling from the back) My business has been off for several years now.

Patsy brings out pie and serves it.

John: Word down at the mill is that they may move the place. Its not that they can't get the business, its just trying to find employees these days.

Fred: Its like that all over.  Lately I spend nearly my entire Saturday running over to other townships to do my errands because so many of the shops have closed down here.

John: Well Norm is thankful he had his heart attack right here in the diner.  Patsy knows exactly what to do.
 
Patsy: Comes with practice.  I can drive the route to the hospital with my eyes closed.

John: Well all I know is I hope I have MY heart attack in here!

Light chuckles from the group.

Harry: Who had their heart attack first?  Was it Stan or Mitch?

Fred: Mitch, because Stan drove him to the hospital.  Then the strain of having to drag Mitch into the emergency room made Stan have his heart attack.

Harry: Right, that was a sad day.  If I recall correctly, then the orderly had one dragging them both to gurnies.  By the time they found everyone...

John: Yup... I just don't know how much more loss this town can take.

Bob: (yelling from the back)  Well they'll have to carry me out of this place. Because if there is even one last person left in this town I'll be here.  I love this place.

Harry: You're the best Bob!

Fred and John: Yup!

Patsy: Can I get you boys anything else?

Harry: Just the usual, Patsy, a cup of your strongest, black coffee to go.  Gotta get back to the post office and I'll be wanting to sleep like a baby this afternoon without it after this deliciously, filling meal.

Fred: I have to leave, too, but business is so slow nobody minds if I nap at my desk ... see you guys for breakfast.

Bob: (from back) The breakfast special is the eggs, biscuits, sausage and gravy!

Harry: Save me a plate Bob!

Fred: Me too Bob! See you then.

Patsy: Take care you two.

Customer walks in as Fred and Harry leave.

Patsy: Hey Ernie.  Sorry to hear about your brother.  We're going to miss him here... The special today is...
 

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