Blood of My Heart Beloved of My Soul
Chapter
43
To
Make Great Sacrifices
When Janet ran into the room, both men were sitting up and she was in time to hear Daniel quietly ask, “Were there any other casualties besides, well, besides Kataya and Sam?”
“Not that we know of, Daniel. The Katteri didn’t come back with us, but they all looked to be fine,” Jack answered. “Janet could give you more information on the wounded.”
“There were numerous injuries, Daniel, but they’re all pretty much up and going. The Tok’Ra helped a lot by using the healing device on the ones that wanted it and the rest we were able to take care of, they just healed a little slower. You, Martouf and Lantash were the only ones we had any reason to be concerned over,” Janet explained briefly.
Daniel flushed as he looked down at the comforter that he realized was one that Kataya had brought through for their bed here on base. He could still smell the rose and musk scent faintly. He smoothed it slowly with his hand, then looked up at the people surrounding them.
Thinking of all the pain these people had been through for them, he said quietly, “Yes, and I’m very sorry we caused all of you so much worry. We did hear you and it called us back many times. Thank you all. Without your voices, I’m not sure what would have happened,” he finished, as he sent Janet the smile that Sam had always loved to see.
It tugged sharply on Janet’s heartstrings, for this was a smile that Sam would never see again. She was just thankful that they were seeing it. Janet couldn’t help it. She walked to the side of the bed and wrapped her arms around him, her voice husky, as she said, “I’m so glad you, Martouf and Lantash are home, Daniel. So very glad.”
As she pulled back from the embrace, Daniel smiled at her and deciding he should lighten the atmosphere, asked for food.
“We, also, would be very appreciative of some type of nourishment,” Martouf said, from the other bed. “I believe I am quite hungry and thirsty.”
“I’ll order you both something. You shouldn’t try to eat much. If you can tolerate something mild and are still hungry then we’ll go from there, okay?” Janet asked Martouf.
Nodding his head in agreement, he sent her a shy smile. The one that tended to make most females want to shelter and care for him whether he needed it or not. Janet smiled back even as she felt the same pain she had at Daniel’s special smile. Sighing to herself, she wondered how long it would take the pain to stop, knowing it was a pointless question. It would take a very long time.
When something mild and small was brought for the two of them, they had finally needed their other hands and they had reached over together and unbound their wrists. The cuts were healed. As word spread, their room was busy with people wanting to say hello and see that they were indeed awake and evidently fine.
Janet suggested they sleep and they had looked at her and then at each other before turning back and pointing out that they had just spent three weeks and three days in a sleep like state. They really weren’t sleepy. What they’d really like, Daniel said, was a shower.
Janet didn’t think that was a good idea, until Jack, Teal’c, Malek, and Jacob had assured her that they would see to it they didn’t get hurt. So, they got their shower and took some short walks. Their strength returned quickly, and within a few days they were at Jack’s house along with Jacob, Malek and Teal’c.
A week later and they were on their own and spending time in their own homes. Six weeks after the battle, they were slowly picking up the threads of their lives. They were working in Daniel’s office. Martouf and Lantash’s knowledge of the Goa’uld and everything pertaining to them, as well as their grasp of many languages, was proving to be an asset. Soon, they’d be doing off-world missions. No one mentioned Martouf and Lantash leaving. It was accepted that they belonged on earth now and for the foreseeable future.
They weren’t happy, but neither were they in constant agony. It was difficult for them to talk about Sam and Kataya and yet, they found they needed to talk about them. When they were told about Artereos’ visit and the star he had shown them, a star that was born as twilight fell on the day of the great battle, and had been named after Sam and Kataya, they insisted on going and seeing it, as soon as night fell. After that, they had a place to go to find at least a semblance of peace.
Many nights found them on the mountain, talking softly and gazing at the star that hung near to the earth shining brightly. At least it shone brightly most of the time. But, they agreed that some nights it wasn’t so bright. An oddity they couldn’t explain and didn’t even try to understand.
Here on the mountain they could release their grief with one another and know that it would go no further. The conversations that lasted long into the night as they remembered their mates, would never be repeated to anyone else. All the tears, all the rage, all the emotions that tore through them, would stay on the mountain, the only witnesses each other and the stars.
Now that they were on their own, they found comfort in being together. They didn’t have to hide their pain when it was just the two of them. Only, it shouldn’t have been just the two of them. Lantash was becoming more and more withdrawn, and neither Daniel nor Martouf, knew what to do for him. Both were becoming extremely worried though, for he wasn’t even taking umbrage at Jack and his sometimes-sarcastic comments. He simply replied politely or ignored them and everything else that was going on around them.
Jacob, Jocasta and Malek had stayed on earth for several weeks after they had come back, but when it looked as if Martouf and Lantash were settling in, and were cleared for off world work, they had returned to the Tok’Ra base. They came back to see how they were and spent the day three months after the battle just to keep in touch, and let them both know that they were thought about and missed.
When Lantash refused to say more than a word or two in response to direct comments, Daniel and Martouf knew that something would have to be done soon. Martouf was having more and more trouble sleeping, as Lantash was restless all night, and slept very little. Often, Martouf was subject to waves of agony over the loss of Samantha, and it was becoming harder for him to continue to try to pick up his life. He knew that Lantash was wrestling with something, but he did not know what until they sat down and talked after their visitors had left.
While waiting for Daniel to come back to his office, Lantash finally decided to tell Martouf what he had been thinking about, /Martouf, I believe that I have a solution to the problem we are having./
/What problem is that Lantash?/ Martouf asked quietly.
/The problem of you being subjected to my inability to get past the loss we have suffered. I do not think I can go on much longer this way, causing you so much pain. I believe that perhaps we should be unblended,/ Lantash said firmly.
Martouf sat in shock for a moment, before saying bluntly,/No. I will not allow it. I will not lose you, as well as Samantha and Kataya. I could not survive that./
/You and Daniel have become very close Martouf. I believe he can take my place. He is being much help to you in adjusting to our loss and I think you would heal faster, if you did not have my constantly depressing thoughts to deal with./
/I said no. I will not even consider it,/ Martouf stated again.
Lantash quivered and appeared to deliberately move his body in a way that caused a burning sensation along Martouf’s spine. /I do not need your permission to un-blend, Martouf. All I need to do is tear my way out of your neck the same way I could have entered. However, I do not wish to put you through that pain, so I would prefer to let the Tok’Ra do it,/ he stated grimly.
Gasping, as the pain found its way up
his spine to his neck and into his head, he still managed to refuse,/ I will
not agree, Lantash. Never. So tear away, because it is the only way you
and I will part. You are a part of me
and I will not give you up. Not now, not
ever. Much as I care for him, Daniel
could never take your place. My answer
is no and you can inflict as much pain on me as you wish, I will not agree. I have lost one of the beings I loved more
than my own life, I will not allow you to take the other one from me,/ he spat
in frustration and anger.
Martouf’s answer had obviously unnerved Lantash somewhat, for his answer sounded as if he was attempting to be more accommodating, /I will not force the un-blending right away, I will give you time to become adjusted to the idea so that it will be easier on both of us./
Martouf did not respond he simply got up as Daniel came in and said, “Shall we go to your home? I do not wish to be alone tonight, Daniel, if you do not mind.”
Sending him a speculative look, Daniel agreed, “Sure, let’s go.” It was no hardship to him, as he preferred to have the company, too. They rode the elevator to the top in silence and then made their way to Daniel’s car. As he unlocked it to get in he said, “Do you want to eat Italian or Chinese?” When he got no answer, he looked over at Martouf and realized he was bent over the hood of the car, his head on his hands.
“Martouf? What is it?
What’s wrong?” He asked, as he
swiftly rounded the front of the car and touched Martouf’s shoulder. There was very little light in this part of
the parking lot and it was dark, so he couldn’t really see Martouf’s face, but
he heard him moan, and then grind out harshly, “No, I will not. I will not.”
“Martouf? What do you need, tell me what to do,” Daniel said, softly.
“Bring back my Samantha, Daniel, so that this agony will stop burning me to my soul,” he gasped, as he clenched his hands into fists and took a hissing breath, fighting to get his emotions under control once again.
/Do you not see, Martouf? I am causing you unnecessary pain. We must do something to stop this for you,/ Lantash said, softly.
Furious now, Martouf threw at him,/The only thing that will stop it for me is when you begin to share our pain instead of hiding it and then having it become overwhelming./ Pausing he attempted to tamp his anger down before finishing his thought. /Not once have you let yourself mourn with us, all you do is bury the feelings until something triggers them and then they cause both of us an almost unbearable wave of pain,/ he continued angrily having failed at his attempt to calm himself. /There will be no un-blending./
“I am sorry, Daniel. I am all right now. It was the mention of Italian food. The second night we spent at Samantha’s, no, our home, we had Italian. It is number eight on the phone,” he said hoarsely. Then shaking his head he continued, “It is strange how something as simple as that can bring back the pain in almost unbearable waves.”
“No,” Daniel answered, “It isn’t strange at all and you know it. It happens to me all the time, and it’s all I can do to remain upright when it hits me. Sometimes, when I’m alone I just sink to the floor and I think my head and chest will explode. I miss her so damn much. The other day, I found a book she was reading, still marked on the page she was on, and I couldn’t breath, it hurt so badly. I changed the sheets on the bed the other day and the ones I picked out smelled of roses and musk, and I thought I’d never make it out of the room the pain was so intense. So, I do understand and sympathize. But, I also know that it will get better. We’re survivors, all three of us; we’ve been through this type of pain before and made it. It’ll just take time, that’s all,” Daniel assured not only Martouf and Lantash, but also himself.
Dragging in a shaky breath, Daniel threw a half smile at Martouf, “Come on, let’s go. We’ll decide what to eat later if you like.”
Shaking his head, Martouf answered firmly, “That will not be necessary, Daniel. I believe I would like Italian.”
Getting in the car, Daniel leaned forward to insert the key, then stopped and looked at his friend. “We’ll live through this, you know. All three of us. I know I’m repeating myself, but it’s the truth; It’s just going to take time and we have to expect these flashes of heartache. It’s only been three months. It will get better. I give you my word.” Nodding decisively, he started the car and headed for home.
Jacob Carter watched the light bounce off the crystals walls of his room as he lay on the sleeping platform. Jocasta would be joining him soon, but for now he was alone. He missed his daughter. He couldn’t believe it had been three months now that she had been gone. He caught his breath at the pain that pierced his chest; the pain had lessened very little since the day she had died.
Well, they assume she had died. All Artereos and Merdwin had told them the day they had suddenly shown up at the SGC was that they were with the All, but that they were not with Martouf, Lantash and Daniel although their spirits, too, were in the All. That had been before the three of them had finally awakened.
Jacob had been to see Lantash and Martouf today. They were comfortable on Earth now, and they were living in Sam’s house since they had recovered from their wounds. The government had given him his papers and Daniel had signed the house over to him. Sam had set everything up before the battle so that if anything happened to her, as she had known it very probably would, they would have it, although officially it was Daniel’s until he signed it over.
Now that the
Although Martouf and Daniel had become almost inseparable from the day they had awoken from the coma, or whatever it was they had been in, they hadn’t given up their other friendships. They still spent time with Jack and Teal’c. A lot of time from the way it sounded. Jack and Daniel’s friendship was stronger than ever, but they didn’t share the tie that he and Martouf did. Jack couldn’t share his emotions with Daniel in the same way, so it was natural that Daniel and Martouf stayed close to one another.
And, Jacob knew that Martouf had been glad to see Malek and him. He had the distinct impression that he missed them quite a bit actually. Lantash though, had said almost nothing all day. That was a worry, but Jacob could do nothing about it from here.
It was just that the bond between Martouf, Lantash and Daniel was very strong ; they supported each other and understood one another with almost no words. The love they shared for the two women that were mates to them both had forged a bond that was deep. The tying of their blood had cemented it into a solid entity. They were brothers in every way, as far as they were concerned.
Damn, would the visions of the battle and its aftermath ever stop replaying themselves in these flashes? Jacob knew he might as well let them come all at once when they started doing this. If he didn’t, they’d just keep popping up all evening long.
Closing his eyes, he relived the day of the Great Battle and the pain of losing his daughter. He watched again, as Sam changed from a beautiful woman into the stunning, but deadly, creature she had died as. He saw again the iridescent scales and the silver girding, the sword and shield, the ribbons and circlet that had appeared and become a part of her. He watched again, as she had fought in perfect harmony with Kataya even before they joined their power and became so attuned that it was as if a deadly ballet was being performed.
He watched as Kataya began to amass the powers of nature as well as the universe, and to glow ever brighter, as Sam kept Bastet engaged. Earlier Sam had stopped Kataya from doing just that, so they knew Kataya must have convinced her there was no other way or she wouldn’t have helped her.
He relived the moment Daniel had realized what she was going to do and screamed, “No!” He felt again the waves of love she had sent Daniel, before she had released the power she had amassed and finally destroyed the evil that had been Bastet. Later, he remembered that wave of love had been so deep and so intense that they all had felt it.
And the line from the legend they had repeated over and over to Lantash, Martouf and Daniel came into his mind. He would never forget it, for it was branded on his brain. ~ For there is no greater love in the universe than that of a Dragon Slayer for its mates~. Well, they could all attest to that, for each and every man and woman in that compound had been bathed in it as it made its way to Daniel’s heart. It was the same love that had radiated outward from his daughter to Martouf and Lantash as she lay dying.”
As the scenes continued their trek across his mind’s eye, he watched as the Furling with the Goa’uld within her had taken every bit of power she still held and released it at Kataya, now almost defenseless. As if in slow motion, he saw his daughter attempt to share her shield. He watched again, as both of them were taken down.
He watched Kataya set the blood of the dragons alight and perform, they had all later realized, the last act that the prophecy called for; ~And the blood of the Dragons shall be shed upon the soil and from the fire we shall rise again and shine~. He saw the way Sam and Kataya’s hands had melded together. He recalled the flash that had indicated that Thor had taken both she and Kataya, as well as the priestesses. And, they realized later, Morgasha/Bastet. Never again would she be free to terrorize and torture them, or anyone else.
Only then had anyone realized that
Daniel, as well as Martouf, had been injured.
They had been the only two on the far side of the compound. From there, they had been able to watch at
least some of the battle and keep an eye on any
And a few of the
They figured that Martouf and Lantash had sustained their injury at the end when the bolts of energy were contacting obstacles and splintering, throwing shafts of energy and stone in all directions. He and Daniel had less cover in the area of the compound they had been in than the rest of them and he must have taken a blast from a fractured energy bolt. Thank whatever powers that be, it hadn’t been a full blast; he’d have been dead on the spot. Jacob almost moaned at the thought of what it would have been like to have lost not only Sam, but Martouf and Lantash as well.
Of course, considering what happened, Martouf would have preferred that, except that Sam would have died without him there, and Jacob was so very thankful that hadn’t happened. Jacob knew Martouf realized that it would have broken her heart, to die knowing he had been killed, so he was at least thankful that he had been there for her.
They had even discussed it one time and he had told Jacob that much as he did not wish to go on without his Samantha, he was so very glad that he had been there to tell her good-bye and reassure her that he would go on for her. He only wished that they had not been so badly injured that Lantash could not also tell her, for Martouf believed it was worrying him greatly that he had not been able to speak to her himself. However, he was guessing he had said, because Lantash refused to speak of it at all.
As flashes of the trek back to the gate began to assert themselves he remembered how Lantash’s son and daughter had sustained Martouf, Lantash and Daniel and how they had given explicit instructions on how they were to be treated. The two of them had kept them alive on the walk to the gate and in reality, by insisting they follow their instructions, they had probably kept them from dying, too. Though Martouf, Lantash and Daniel had healed physically, they had refused to awaken and for three long weeks, they had been in coma-like states.
They had been attended, twenty-four/seven, and every person that sat with them through the long weeks repeated their promises to their mates, tirelessly. They had each talked to them endlessly of Sam and Kataya, and when they finally awoke they both admitted that the voices had kept calling them back, even though they hadn’t wanted to return. They had thanked everyone that had sat with them and helped to hold them here.
So Lanwin and Taesha had accomplished their special assignment, the one the Tau’ri and the Tok’Ra hadn’t been aware they had, just as the Priestesses had attempted to accomplish their special, but unknown assignment. It had become obvious later that there had been much going on behind the scenes that they hadn’t known.
There had been a conspiracy of silence surrounding his daughter, Kataya, and their battle with Bastet. It had become apparent, after the fact, that the priestesses that Kataya had insisted on were brought specifically for her and Sam, for they had immediately surrounded them and began to attempt to keep them alive. It wasn’t their fault that they had failed.
And as Teal’c had pointed out, the silence surrounding the two women and the battle had allowed all of them to have happy memories of the final weeks, rather than sorrow and pain at the knowledge of what was about to take place.
Jacob felt the tears streak his face and left them there. Tears were something he rarely allowed himself, and having his daughter in the service in the position she was in, he had known she could be killed in action, but the reality was harder to live with than the abstract thought of it. He sighed and finally wiped his cheeks as the tears ceased and his mind returned to the weeks following the battle. The weeks that Martouf and Daniel had been in the infirmary beds, healed except that they refused to awaken. He could still hear Janet Fraiser’s voice as she told them her theory.
“In my professional opinion, there is no physical reason they are still in this coma-like condition. However, in my personal opinion, I believe that though their bodies have healed, their minds are trying to adjust before they come to consciousness.”
“I think they’ll wake up, when and if, they can come to terms with what’s being asked of them. That is, that they pick up the threads of their lives and continue the fight against the Goa’uld without their mates by their sides. When they can finally accept that reality, then they’ll come back to us.”
“I think the constant reiteration of their promises is the only thing keeping them alive at this point in time. If their minds give up then their hearts will follow and in my opinion the cause of death would officially be heart failure, because they would simply stop. Professionally, I can’t say that, as it wouldn’t happen, but in my personal opinion, I think it would.”
They had all sat and tried to accept what they had known and what Janet had put into words. The two men were close to dying of something that supposedly didn’t ever really happen. That had been at the end of week two. The next week had seen them working even harder to recall the two men. There had been an air of urgency in the room; a sense that a crisis was coming and no one knew what to do about it.
Then three weeks to the day after the
Artereos of Cadwaellon was indeed an impressive sight as he stepped from the shimmering blue of the event horizon, the black cape of his Katteri uniform billowing out and then swirling around him as he stood at the top of the ramp. Magnificent was a word many had used to describe this man, and it was well deserved. Over six feet in height and broad of shoulder, the air of power about him obviously real and not an illusion. His heavy white hair waved to his shoulders, his deep green eyes, so startlingly like the sister Jacob’s daughter had helped to kill, took in every detail and his personality could be felt. No doubt an extremely handsome man in his youth, he was still so to this day, with the added bonus of being distinguished looking as well.
His voice was deep and crisp as he gave the order for the Katteri to be at ease and such was his air of command that the SGC airmen followed his order as well. Looking to the control room, he had smiled, and bowed deeply before saying, “I am pleased to finally be able to meet you in person, General Hammond of the Tau’ri.”
“We’re pleased to have you here as well, Artereos of Cadwaellon,” General Hammond had answered, “We’ll be right down.” And they had been. Jacob and Malek had happened to be with them in the control room that day, and he was so very glad they had been. When they had reached him, Artereos had clasped the Generals forearm in greeting and smiled readily, something they hadn’t seen much of for the last three weeks. All were surprised when his next words were, “I have come to see to my sons.”
At the blank looks that were sent his way, he had clarified for them, “My sons, Martouf, Lantash and Daniel. The All tells me they are refusing to leave. We must deal with this, for they each have a life-force that is very determined and it must be allowed to come forth for them.”
“You have all done an excellent job in reminding them of their promises to their mates, but it is time to stop. I am afraid that the All has decided that it is time they returned to their lives. Whether they choose to live or die will now be up to them.”
He sighed, as he said slowly, knowing this would shock all those there, “It is time they proved themselves worthy to be the Dragon’s Mates. They must complete their journey and it is one that only the three of them can take and only with each other. They have the strength, and they will help one another. Take me to them, please.”
So they had all gone to the room where Daniel and Martouf were being cared for. Once in the room Artereos had turned to Janet Fraiser and said, “You must disconnect your life giving measures, they are no longer needed. Their bodies have healed, as you, I am quite convinced, already know.”
He had reached out and touched Janet lightly and the ring on his finger had glowed a bright green. “You are a healer of much strength of purpose and ability. You have done well, child, but the time has come for them to live or die on their own. These measures are only making it easier for them to remain away and refuse to complete their journey.”
“You were correct in your opinion that they would have died if you had not helped them with their physical wounds as well as those to their hearts, but now their hearts must find both the strength to heal and the determination to find their way home. I hope you understand and I assure you that Samantha and Kataya do.”
“I will return after you have finished,” he told her, his deep voice laced with sympathy at what her heart was telling her was a great risk. To allow these two to live or die without her intervention was asking a great deal. She also knew that he was correct; there was no physical reason they should die.
So, Janet had finally nodded her acceptance, and turned with her nurses to disconnect all the tubes that were both nourishing and emptying their physical bodies. It took very little time to do. When they returned to the room the two men were covered by comforters from Daniel and Sam’s quarters and they looked as if the were asleep.
Moving to the far side of Daniel’s bed as Merdwin had moved to Martouf’s the two Furlings had pushed the two beds so close together that Artereos could barely walk between them. Once in position, he walked to them and took a hand of each. He frowned, as he held those hands and turned to Merdwin, “You did the rite of brother-ship, did you not, before the battle?”
Merdwin sighed, and shook his head, “We discussed it, because they wished to have it done, but we could not seem to find a time to do it. We did an aural binding, but the days before the battle became hectic and somehow we never got around to the blood tie. I should have realized myself that was the problem. I will do it now. Do you wish your dagger to be used or mine?”
“You have had much to occupy your thoughts and time, Merdwin, do not let it worry you. The aural binding has kept them from drifting to far apart.” He had said, kindly. “I believe that as my sons, they should have my dagger used on them,” Artereos continued as he handed the beautifully crafted weapon to Merdwin.
Stepping back he watched as Merdwin took his place between the two men and started to chant. The rest of them had become so used to the pagan aspects of the Furling rites that they didn’t even object when Merdwin had slit their throats and wrists. Jacob smiled slightly to himself, remembering how they had all stood there as the blood had come forth to seek its brother, found and entwined with it and withdrawn back into the wound. The looks on the faces of the nursing staff, who had never witnessed a Furling blood rite, had been priceless. Merdwin had healed the wounds on their necks, but he had left their wrists bound to each other and unhealed. When the two men made their decision, if it was to live, the cuts would heal, they were told.
Turning Merdwin had bowed to Artereos, who had then taken his place and the peace that had filled that room as he had clasped his hands around their bound ones had been unbelievable.
Afterwards, Artereos had taken them and
shown them the new star that had been born, he said, at the end of the
Jacob swallowed hard, and thought about the nights since then that he had gone to the surface to look for that star, even though he knew he couldn’t see it from here.
Before he left that day, Artereos had told them not to be concerned as he felt certain the men would soon return. He had found and felt their spirits and although confused and terribly saddened, they were not ready to take a new path. They knew this path was not yet traversed. The lack of the blood tie had been the problem.
Artereos had also said they would be back when the time was right, but it had now been three months since the battle and they had seen none of the Furlings, not even Merdwin, although he had sent a message to Janet to tell her not to worry. There was still much to do he had said, and he simply could not be gone for very long at a time from the mysts. He had promised that he, too, would be returning soon, though. Of course, who knew what soon was to a race like the Furlings? It could be centuries for all they knew.
They had stopped the constant reiteration of their promises, but someone still sat and talked to the two men. And they all still worried, though Artereos’s visit had given them more hope than they’d had since the two men had been injured.
Three days after Artereos had come, they had awoken as if they had simply been asleep. When they had awakened, Daniel had turned to Jack and Teal’c and Martouf to Jacob and Malek. How long, they wanted to know, had they been gone. They hadn’t said unconscious, out, or asleep, they had said gone. Once told they had simply nodded and asked how things were going.
They had never discussed with anyone what had taken place while they were unconscious, or what had happened after Artereos and Merdwin had finished the bonding. The only thing they had said about it, was that it was the voices talking to them that had held them here, and they had thanked everyone for seeing to it that they had done as their mate’s had wished.
It had been obvious from the time they had awoken and not been surprised at their bound wrists, though, that they had formed a truly sustaining and lifelong bond. They hadn’t, at first, even unbound themselves, until they wished to eat, and they had needed that hand and couldn’t use it. They had reached forward and together undone the loosely tied binding. The cuts were completely healed.
After they awoke, gained strength, and were told about the star, Martouf and Daniel had spent hours on the mountain looking at it and talking though no one knew what they found to discuss. Whatever it was it seemed to help them, for they always seemed more at peace when they returned to the SGC hallways within the mountain. The cold night air had finally driven them to going to Daniel’s and looking at it from the turret room roof or through the windows.
Although there was no joy in their eyes, neither had there been sorrow. For a day or so. Now they were living and doing as they were told or asked to, but it was as if their spirits were missing. Jacob sighed, and felt Jocasta stoke his arm.
Opening his eyes, he smiled at her, “Hi, sweetheart, I’m glad you’re here.” Reaching up, he drew her head down for a long kiss, and then sighed as the warmth of her flowed into him. “You give me so much peace, Jocasta, you and Daur’rin. I don’t know what I’d do without you as my mate. I only wish I’d had the courage to ask you and take you as my mate before Sam died. She would have loved seeing us together in this way.”
“Perhaps if she is indeed in the All, she knows that we are bonded,” Daur’rin came forward to tell him in her gentle voice.
“Sel’s reminding me to tell you we love you,” he whispered softly against her lips, before kissing her one more time.
When it ended, she pulled away slightly. “You’ve been remembering again,” she said softly. “I wish I knew what to do for you.”
“There is nothing you can do, time alone can take care of it. I believe you know that, too.”
“Yes,” she said. Changing the subject she stated, “It is so odd that neither we nor the Tau’ri can get the Chaappa’ai to lock on Avilion.”
Jacob shook his head, “No, I don’t think it is. It is a sanctuary and we don’t need it right now. I have a feeling that if we did, it would suddenly become available to us.”
Daur’rin released control to Jocasta who gave his statement some thought before agreeing, “You are correct, of course.” Looking at him with her feelings plainly showing in her eyes, she said, “I feel so useless for both of you.”
“I can assure you, Jocasta, that you and Daur’rin, have been a blessing for Sel and I. I don’t think I could have stood the pain without you there beside me. Thank you for that.”
“I wanted to help you then, Jacob, and I still do. Now though, I also wish I could do something for Martouf and Lantash. I understand from O’Neill that Lantash almost never takes over from Martouf and when he does, it is only to say something polite, unlike his usual self, I gather.”
Jacob sighed, again. “I know, and I don’t know why. I mean it isn’t like him to leave Martouf to struggle with everything. Of course, we shouldn’t judge. It could be that he’s being internally supportive.”
“I am not sure he is, for I noticed today that Martouf had the look of listening only once. I am sure he and Lantash were conversing, but it did not last long.”
“I noticed too, Jocasta. It almost breaks my heart all over again, every time I look into Martouf’s eyes. Sometimes they look blank, as if there is nothing there, at others, he just looks lost. So lost and so alone.”
“I saw the same things. Malek stopped me in the hall a while ago. I am glad he was able to go with us today. He is upset by the lack of response from Lantash. He would barely talk to him and he feels that Lantash is leaving Martouf to mourn and struggle on his own just as we suspect.”
“Malek said he is thinking about spending some time on Earth with him soon, hoping to be able to have some time to talk to him one on one. He is very worried for he says it is very like he was after Kataya had to return to her homeworld. He told me that at that time, Lantash did not care if he lived or died, and it was very hard to get him to be careful of himself and his host. He is concerned for both Martouf and Lantash.”
“Malek looks haunted, Jacob, as if he is reliving some terrible memories. I believe, too, that he does not understand Gwennetha’s silence. I asked him to please remember that Artereos and Merdwin both said they would return soon, and I also reminded him what Teal’c revealed to us about Morgasha’s soul being bound and how his impression, from what he overheard from Lanwin and Taesha, was that this was a very important and difficult undertaking.”
“Perhaps I should not have, but I told him that as a High Priestess, it was entirely possible that Gwennetha’s duties at this time, could be difficult and time-consuming in the extreme, and that he should not automatically assume she was slighting him in any way. I also pointed out that she had just lost her mother and that, perhaps, she was in mourning and struggling with her own grief. I hope I did the right thing,” she finished, a little uneasy with what she had said to Malek.
“I think what you did wasn’t only extremely kind, Jocasta, but also very likely true. Sel says that Gwennetha would be in the thick of anything going on since she is her mother’s heir. She has Kataya’s governmental office to take care of as well as her other duties, so I think you did a good thing for Malek. I just hope he believes you. They’ve declared to one another and are mates in the custom of the Furlings. It is an eternal bond and I’m sure he doesn’t understand what’s happening and why she hasn’t contacted him. I don’t know how many people actually know they’ve joined, though,” Jacob said, as he caressed her cheek gently. She was such a good person, and in some ways, very sweet. Between her and gentle Daur’rin, he and Selmak were wrapped in love constantly, and it had done a great deal to help them with their pain.
Smiling slightly, Jocasta replied, “Well, he looked somewhat relieved, if not exactly cheerful, so I think it may have helped. He did tell me that she had told him in the only message she sent to him, that she could possibly be gone for quite some time, but that she would return to him. I think reminding him of all of her duties will help to reinforce her message to him. If you see him, you should tell him that she is also taking her mother’s place in the government, in case he is not aware of those duties. Although she may have mentioned it to him, it would not hurt to remind him.”
“There is some good news that he had just heard and passed on to me. The killing of Bastet has left a void that the other System Lords are scrambling to fill. The fighting amongst them is fierce, and we have been able to eliminate several during the infighting, and blame it on someone else. We have truly made some progress this time,” Jocasta spoke quietly. “Perhaps this is the beginning of the end of the System Lords, which is a thing we have all long looked forward to. I believe that many of us would wish to share that day with our Tau’ri allies now that we have come to know them better.”
“I think that the prophecy of the All foretold a better understanding between the three races. The Tok’Ra and the Furling have had good understanding for a very long time, but the prophecy spoke of the three races coming together to defeat the Dragon of the Blood, who had joined with a small dragon. I’d like to think that part of the prophecy was also saying that the three races would become even greater allies and work to defeat the “small dragons” together,” Jacob said slowly, as he examined the thoughts he was having, and told them to Jocasta.
“It could very well have been doing so, Jacob. There was certainly unprecedented cooperation between the races and it seems to me that since then, the tie between the Tok’Ra, and the Tau’ri has become stronger. Perhaps Samantha once again has helped to bring our two peoples together. I just wish the price had not been so high,” she finished sadly.
“So do I, Jocasta, so do I,” was Jacob’s heartfelt reply. He closed his eyes and held out his arms to her. He needed the warmth of her tonight. Maybe he would sleep the night through.
Suddenly, his eyes flew open and he sat up. “They aren’t dead. I finally figured out what it was that Artereos said, that I thought was so strange, something that sounded odd to me,” Jacob exclaimed.
“What was it, Jacob? Please do not get your hopes up. We saw them die, Jacob,” Jocasta said, being cautious.
Jacob Carter shook his head. “I don’t care what we thought we saw, I know what Artereos said that day at the SGC. When he talked to Janet he said, and I quote, ‘I hope you can understand and I assure you that Samantha and Kataya do.’ Not would have understood, but do understand. Present tense. You mark my words, Jocasta. One day, I don’t know when, but one day, my daughter and Kataya are going to walk through the gate and into the SGC. And I even think I know when it will happen,” he said firmly.
“When is that Jacob? She asked softly.
“When Daniel, Martouf and Lantash have picked up the pieces and started living again. We can’t tell them what we suspect, Jocasta. I think this is all part of that legend thing. Remember Artereos also said that “it is time they proved themselves worthy to be the Dragon’s Mates. And the legend also said, “Damn it, what was it? Lanwin told me, let me think.”
“I believe you are searching for this statement Jacob. ~ The Dragon’s mate must have great courage, unwavering faith, strength of purpose and a determined life-force for they will be called to make great sacrifices at which their hearts will cry out, but which they shall do just the same,~” Selmak said, taking control and looking at Jocasta.
/Yes, that’s it. Thank you, Sel./
“You are welcome, Jacob, and for what it is worth, I believe you are correct. I, too, believe that the day will come that we will again be reunited with our daughter. I am not sure that they are alive as we think of it, at this moment in time though. I did not want to bring it up before, but Samantha did tell Martouf that she would return to him. I believe they had a journey they had to complete and that they are not in a form we would recognize as living at this time.” He said aloud, so that both Jacob and Jocasta would know what he had said.
Selmak kissed Jocasta lightly then returned control to Jacob who said, “I think they’ll return as soon as Martouf, Lantash and Daniel take up the threads of their lives, stop just existing, and truly start to live. I also agree, though, that if Sam and Kataya have a journey to complete together that it won’t be until after that. I’m tellin’ ya, they are coming home,” Jacob said, as he lay back down beside her.
Tomorrow was a new day and as Jocasta had said, it had not, after all, been very long. He had to believe that Martouf, Lantash and Daniel would be all right, as Artereos had seemed to believe they would. Because Jacob didn’t believe he had meant only that they would awaken, he had meant they would begin to live again.
TBC