“Italics – Symbiote – Host and/or
Telepathic communication.
Adorata coeurawyn – Adored
of my heart- an endearment
Sevesh lok Twin – rite of release
Blood of
My Heart, Beloved of My Soul
Chapter 24
Paths to
Yesterday
Kataya
cleared her throat, “Actually, although we manifest as dragons, the correct
description of what we are is Dragon Slayer. Please understand that you do not have to follow
this path, Samantha. If you wish to
follow another path, that is your right, for the All never forces a soul to
follow a certain path. You have free
will, and you have the right to refuse this one.”
Lifting
her head from her hands, she asked, “And if I refuse what happens?”
“Nothing.
You will simply continue your life as if none of this was told to you.”
“Right,
I just go on with my life as if there isn’t this horrible evil thing out there
waiting to destroy life as we know it.”
Sam jumped up from where she had been sitting to pace the small confines
of the room. Jerking to a stop, she
wrapped her arms around her stomach, while taking deep breaths to try to calm herself. Unable to
stay still for long she resumed her pacing.
Forcing herself to stop again, she pushed shaking fingers through her
hair and managed to ask, “What about Bastet, er,
Morgasha? What will happen if I don’t do
this?” She watched Kataya closely as she
answered, wanting to catch each expression.
“We
will call her Bastet for simplicity sake, although we know we mean both of
them. We will still attack her, but I
will battle her on my own. Artereos
believes I can win, though you did not bond with me or take part in that
portion of the Great Battle.”
Sam
picked up a magazine lying on the table and read the title, ‘Archeology
Today’. Of course, she thought
irrelevantly, she was in Daniel’s quarters.
They wouldn’t have need of this magazine
anymore if Bastet won. There wouldn’t be anything left to study. She folded it and slapped it against the palm
of her hand as she resumed pacing, the circles she walked mimicking the
spinning of her thoughts.
Throwing
the magazine aside, she said, “So if I don’t want to take part in this, I can
just step back and let the rest of you take on Darth Vader’s evil twin sister
and not give it another thought. Yeah,
I’ll just go and take a long hot bath and hope everything comes out okay.”
She
shook her head and took another deep breath.
“I can’t just walk away, Kat. I’m not made that way.
I’m a soldier and Bastet needs to be stopped,” she shrugged, continuing,
“so I guess I go with it.” She looked at
Kataya and realized she was watching her with sympathy and something else in
her gaze. Suddenly, it hit her. Love. Kataya was looking at her with love.
Then
she was really hit hard as she realized that the woman looking at her that way
was more than just a good friend. Oh,
God, this woman was her sister. They
shared a mother and soul threads. In the
way of spirit twins, she’d said. Twins their souls, sisters
their mother. Duh.
Suddenly,
Sam felt calmer. She needed to listen
and think not react. She turned to
Kataya and as she reseated herself, she said, “I’m sorry. I need to hear everything you have to say,
not let my emotions bounce off the walls.
I need to be as prepared as possible when we battle her.”
Kataya
took her hand in hers and smiled briefly before she continued, “Before you can
make any decisions, you should know one more thing. Bastet will die, Samantha, and her soul will
return to the All where, hopefully, it will be bound for all time. The other thing you need to know is that,
while Bastet will die, it is very likely that we shall, also. Should that come to pass, then our souls will
be given a choice as to what we wish to do as always.”
Sam
sat in a thoughtful silence for a long time, before she said, “This is what I
was born to do, and this is what I’ll do.
She must be stopped, and I believe the All made both of us because we
need each other to do this.”
Kataya
nodded, saying, “It is imperative, both in our personal lives and the upcoming
battle that we stand united. Our
combined power will be quite formidable, Samantha. However, there are painful things we must go
through, things you must see and learn, before we can use our joint power. I will not accept your decision until after
we have linked, and I am sure that you understand and accept all aspects of
what it means to be Katteri-enti.”
“You
must understand what Lantash means to me, and I must understand what Daniel
means to you. It is not a coincidence
that my Soulmate is your Heartmate and vice versa. Our shared soul threads have led us here, and
we must fully comprehend each others feelings.”
“You
mean link like we did when you let me hold Lantash?” Sam asked.
“Yes,
but it will be painful, Samantha, not just emotionally, but physically as
well. The physical pain will be from my
heart, because Lantash and I have not performed the Sevesh lok Twin yet. I will
shield you from as much of it as I can, and if we link right away, the pain
will not be as bad as it will be by tomorrow or the next day…it will continue
to worsen until we go through Sevesh Lok Twin, the releasing
ritual. You must promise me that you
will tell Lantash nothing of what is happening to me. If you cannot promise me that, then I will
not do the linking.”
Sam
agreed, “I understand, Kat.”
“All right.
We each will see scenes that have made deep impressions on our minds and
souls. You will be seeing my mind, my
heart, and my soul as I will be seeing yours.”
Sam
nodded again.
“First you will look into the distant past and
see moments of my other lives and times with Daniel as well as my times as
Merdwin’s lover.”
A
shadow of great sadness and pain passed across Kataya’s face. “There will be some disturbing memories,
Samantha. I will hide nothing from you,
so it is possible you will find memories that will be painful emotionally as
well as physically.”
“You
will see and feel Lantash, Dominic, our happiness and our love. You will feel how much they meant to me. While you look at and feel my memories, I
will see your memories and times with Daniel and feel what you feel for
him.” Kataya paused, “You will most
likely also see memories of Bastet and my children, both with Merdwin and
Lantash, who are also now your stepchildren.”
“There
will be many different scenes from my different livings, but mostly it will
pertain to the things that affect us.
You will come to understand about Gwynnivar and Llancellon; why she entered the cloister when she died, and why your
coming will allow her to realize that she was part of the prophecy. That what she did was ordained, and had she
refused Llancellon and their love, you would not have been born and Bastet
might have won the battle.”
“It’s
almost frightening,” Sam said quietly.
Kataya
looked thoughtful. “If it truly
frightens you, perhaps I could show you without the emotions. You are a brilliant woman, Samantha. You could understand these things.”
Sam
shook her head and, said firmly, “Understanding is not necessarily the same as
truly knowing. I wish to experience it
so that I will know. I think it’s necessary for us to become joined, isn’t it? And that is where
this is leading, isn’t it? To our spirits joining?”
“Because
your soul contains threads of mine in order for us to be called together at the
correct time, we are what is known as spirit
twins. Because of this, we will need to
bond in mind, spirit, and heart.” Kat
said.
“If
you decide you wish for the joining, then we will
travel to Avilion, the Sanctuary, and Merdwin will perform the rite to join our
spirits. Once our spirits have joined,
then we will begin your training in earnest.”
“If
I only watched the scenes and didn’t experience them, then we wouldn’t be as
strong or have as much power would we?”
Sam asked shrewdly.
“No,”
Kataya admitted. “We would not.”
“I
believe we are going to need as much power and strength as we can possibly
have, so I want to do everything necessary to see to it that we have what we
need,” Sam stated decisively. “I don’t
believe we can afford to lose from what you’ve explained.”
Kataya
nodded. “All right, it will be as you
wish. I must tell you that I will see
your feelings and memories of being a warrior, your memories and feelings for
Daniel and for Lantash and Martouf.
These are the things that have drawn us together.”
“I
must release Jolinar’s memories, as well.
Now that you know your own feelings, you can safely combine and accept
her feelings as part of yours.”
Sam
nodded thoughtfully, and then asked, “Are you sure I can do what has to be
done, Kat? I mean, you’ve
had millennia to prepare for this. You
already know how to use the power in you.
I’m afraid I won’t be able to do it.”
“As
we link minds, you will learn much from me.
You need to experience what it means to be Katteri-enti before you make
a final decision. The link is the first
step, and once you have learned what it means to be such a Warrior, then I will
accept your agreement, if you still wish to follow through with it.”
“Once
we have completed the link and learned of one another, and if you agree, we
will go to Avilion for the ritual of the joining. You will learn about your powers and how to
use them, and you will learn all you need to know to be able to battle Bastet.”
Sam
looked closely at Kataya. “You’re
worried about something. What is it?”
“I
am concerned about the physical affect on you and to be honest, on myself. You must understand, Sam, that with this link
you will come to feel as if there is no difference between us. We will both feel as if we are one another as
we experience each other’s lives. The
deeper into the link we go, the deeper the feeling we are one being will
become. I will believe I am you, and you
will believe that you are me. I think we should have Merdwin here as a
precaution. He has the skills to enter
our minds and retrieve us from one another should that become necessary.” Kataya made her statement calmly, but Sam
could tell that she was uneasy about what was going to happen.
“If
you think we should have him here, then it’s all right with me. Do I need anything?”
“Yes. Get your circlet and sword. It is not the one you will carry when you
manifest, but neither is the one I normally use. I will contact Merdwin while you go to get
them.”
Sam
nodded and left. Kataya searched for
Merdwin and found him in his quarters talking to Jack O’Neill.
“Merdwin, I have talked to Samantha. She has agreed to the link. I believe you should be here,” Kataya
said to him.
“I can come now. I will see if Daniel can distract Jack.”
Kataya’s
amusement was plain, as she answered, “All
right and that will also keep Daniel occupied.”
Sam
re-entered the room, and Kataya indicated that they should sit on the cushions
she had placed on the floor. As she lit
the candles and placed her circlet on, she said to her, “Merdwin will be here
shortly. Light the candles on either
side of you, put your circlet on, and place your sword across mine on the
floor.”
A
knock on the door heralded Merdwin’s arrival.
He greeted the two women, and removed the floor-length cape he had been
wearing. Sam sat in stunned silence, as
he stood before them.
Dressed
in skin-tight breeches and a tunic of black trimmed in gold, he was wearing the
Katteri-enti Warrior uniform, but over it, he wore the robe that designated him
as a High Priest of the All. A golden
medallion with archaic symbols on it hung from an intricately woven chain
around his neck. Daniel would love to see that, she thought
irrelevantly. He carried a large tome, a
scepter of some sort, and several other archaic looking pieces that she couldn’t identify.
Sam shook her head and smiled at him.
“It’s no wonder Janet is the most envied woman on base. If I didn’t love Martouf to distraction, I’d
be right in there with the rest.”
Merdwin
colored to a dusky red, as he said, “Our rites and rituals have been with us
since the myst-time.
It is, perhaps, time we changed our mode of dress. We have not changed it since your so-called
medieval times. It is comfortable, and
we find it pleasing to look at.”
“So
do we, Merdwin.
Trust me, especially the female half.”
Sam grinned saucily at him.
Kataya
quietly interrupted, “Samantha and I must accomplish this, the first rite of
the joining of our spirits. Do you wish
to preside? I assume you do, since you
are dressed so.”
“I
think it might be best if I did. That
way you can focus on the link, while I attend to the chants, and if the link
becomes too strong and overwhelms you, I will be aware and take the necessary
steps to release you.”
“All
right,” Kataya nodded her agreement, her relief evident. She sat across from Sam on the cushions. “Sam, clasp my
wrists, and close your eyes until the link is established. If you wish, once the link is made, you can
open them. Merdwin will be doing the
chants for us, as he said, so that we can focus.” She took a deep breath, and asked, “Are you
ready, Samantha?”
Sam
was nervous, but she nodded, as she swallowed, and tried to calm the
butterflies fluttering in her stomach.
Merdwin lit some type of incense, and she became aware that she was
beginning to feel as if she was floating.
Whatever lay ahead would be both exciting and terrifying in ways she had
never dreamed. Sam took a deep breath
and relaxed into the sounds and scents that surrounded her.
As
she breathed in the scent of the incense, she listened to Merdwin as he recited
something that sounded very much like an ancient spell of some sort. It was not long before she heard the sound of
the large book closing, and she listened as he began to chant in the low
melodious tone that Kataya always used.
Before
long, Sam became aware that she was standing in a lovely wooded glen. She could hear water running, and in the distance she could see the gleaming spires and turrets of a
castle. Flags fluttered atop them in the
breeze, and even at this distance she could make out
the Lion Rampant upon crossed swords.
She
followed a path and as it came to the stream, she saw deer-like creatures
grazing beside it. She stopped and held
her breath, as she realized that across the stream stood a beautiful white
Unicorn, a creature that wasn’t supposed to exist in
her world. Small woodland animals
scampered away or eyed her curiously. An
arched stone bridge crossed the stream and Sam walked across it and into the courtyard
of the castle where a Stargate sat on a raised dais. The people there were dressed like Kat and
Merdwin. There was no doubt that she was
in Kataya’s mind, and she became aware of a voice talking to her.
“Welcome to Cadwaellon, Samantha. This is my home. You are accessing my memories now. All you have to do is look and walk
around. The scenes will change as you
focus on different places and people. We
are fully linked, and you have access to all of my memories and feelings. You will soon be fully engaged in what you
are seeing and feeling, and you will probably not be aware that I am in your
mind as you are in mine.”
“I understand,”> Sam answered her. She looked around and stepped forward and as
she did so, the scene changed. She was
in the courtyard still, but it had changed.
The gardens were different than they had been. This is the way the gardens had looked
millennia ago when Kataya had been in her first living.
Sam
also realized she was feeling as Kataya had felt at the time this memory had
taken place. It was happening just as
Kat had said it would. Their emotions
had joined, and she was both Sam and Kataya.
It was an odd sensation to know she was Sam, and yet, to also know that
she was Kataya. She knew that soon even
that feeling would change, and she would simply be Kataya. It was happening so rapidly that she felt
panic rising within her.
Merdwin’s
voice suddenly echoed, “Samantha, it is
all right. I will not allow you to lose
yourself for all time. I promise I will
be with you. This is normal. Simply allow it to happen, and I will ensure
that at the proper time you return to your own body. Do you understand? Can you trust me to do this?”
Sam
didn’t have to give it much thought. She instinctively trusted Merdwin; he would
keep her and Kataya safe, as he had always done. “Yes,
Merdwin, I trust you and I understand.
Thank you.”
Sam
found herself sitting on a stone bench in the rose arbor talking to her
mother. “You have recognized your
Soulmate, Daughter,” her mother was saying to her.
“Yes,
I have, but Father may be displeased,” she said quietly.
“Will
that make a difference to you?”
“I
do not believe it will.”
“He
is the perfect mate for you, Kataya.
Your father will approve.”
She
shook her head. “He will expect me to
take a Warrior as a mate, will he not?”
She asked.
Gwynnivar
smiled at her daughter. “No, he will
expect you to take a mate that makes your soul complete. Above all else, he wishes for your happiness
with the mate of your soul and heart, and he will agree that the one your heart
and soul have chosen will be the perfect mate for you. The one you believe to be your mate has
spoken to you?”
“He
believes himself unworthy of the daughter of the Warrior Artereos. He will not speak to me of this.”
“Then
it is up to you to speak to him.”
“I
have attempted to do so. He will not
allow me to say anything about our feelings for one another. We only argue when I try to bring it up. He insists that he is not the one for me. He is stubborn once his mind is made up; he
believes Father could not approve of him, and that I would grow tired of a mate
who was not a Warrior like myself. He thinks it would shame me.” She looked across the courtyard at the sandy
haired blue-eyed man leaving a building with his arms full of books. Dayillon. She felt great sadness and vexation over how
to convince him that his soul was special, and his brilliant mind was a gift
she would encourage and admire. To be
his acknowledged mate would fill her heart with pride.
As
she started to go toward the young man, the scene changed again, and Sam realized
the man she had seen was Daniel. He
looked much as he did now for his features were similar. He was the same, yet different, and she
decided he was more handsome this living.
The
scene changed again, and she watched as Dayillon approached Artereos, who was
sitting at his desk and looking up at the young man standing before him.
“Sire,
my father told me that you had requested that I wait upon you to discuss
something of importance. How may I be of
service to you?” He asked, as he stood
before the man who was his people’s leader.
Artereos
looked steadily at him before replying, “My Lady, Gwynnivar, tells me that you
will not speak to our daughter of what is in your heart and soul, nor will you
allow her to speak to you of these things.
I hope you are not going to try to convince me that she is not the mate
of your heart and soul, Dayillon, for I would not believe you.”
As
the young man prepared to make his statement on the situation, Artereos shook
his head. “I find it hard to believe that
such a brilliant young man could be so incredibly backward, when it comes to
his personal affairs and feelings. We
must hope that Kataya will be able to cure you of that.” He sighed as he watched the color infuse
Dayillon’s face. “I fail to understand
how you could possibly believe that I would not find the son of one of my
oldest friends perfectly acceptable and desirable as a mate for my daughter.”
“She
deserves a mate she can be proud of. Someone who will be respected by others. I am a scholar, not a Warrior.”
“Dayillon,
she deserves a mate who will complete her soul and love her
unconditionally. I believe that is
you. You are a warrior of causes, a
brilliant, giving, caring man, a man who would love and care for my daughter
with a love that few would be capable of giving. You are respected for your intellect and your
abilities. But,
more important than that others respect you, is that your mate respect
you. If Kataya did not find you worthy
of respect, she would be the first to deny the pull of her soul.”
“Now.
I have spoken to your father. He
has no objection to Kataya for you as a mate, and we have sealed the
agreement. If you have objections, I
suggest you take them up with him. I
will inform Kataya of the agreement.” As
she gasped in astonishment at such an archaic way of settling things, she
stepped forward, and the scene again changed.
She was in a bower of roses in the garden, and the young man, Dayillon,
was standing behind her with his hands on her shoulders.
“Kataya,
I have been ordered by my father and yours to speak to you. I am sorry.
I tried to convince them that you would be happier with another, a
Warrior, but they would not listen. It
is up to you to refuse me. They will
believe you if you tell them you wish for another.” She could hear the regret in his voice.
“Then
perhaps you should ask, so that I may give my answer and be done with it,” was
the terse response.
“As you wish.”
He cleared his throat. “Kataya,”
Suddenly the calm, controlled voice broke and became husky with desire and
pain. “Kataya, my love, my blood burns
in my veins with a fire and passion for you that I cannot deny. My heart and my soul are incomplete without
you. You are the woman, the mate. It is my wish that you become mine for
eternity. My most ardent desire is for
our souls and hearts to entwine and join and for you to become my eternal
mate. I have such love for thee, Blood
of my Heart. Come to me, join me, and
walk with me into eternity.”
The
relief that flooded her was immense. He
had said the words of the Soulmate, and he had meant them. Their fathers had only forced him to say that
which he wanted to say. She turned to
him and reached up to touch his face.
“Dayillon,
my love; you are the Beloved of my Soul.
You are the other half of my soul and my heart. You are the man, the mate. It is my wish that you become mine for
eternity. I, too, ardently desire that
we entwine our hearts and souls and I join you as your eternal mate. I, also, have such love for thee, Beloved of
my Soul. I will come to you, join you,
and walk with you into eternity.”
She
watched the stunned look that came over his face. He had truly not believed she cared for
him. As he lowered his lips to hers, she
felt that first sweet kiss and knew the power of their desire, one for the
other. The bemused look on Dayillon’s
face when they at last drew apart was so identical to the one he still wore to
this day after they had kissed deeply, that she laughed softly. Her Dayillon had not changed and neither had
her love for him. It was as deep and
true as always.
She
watched as scenes from the millennia of her livings were played out. She spoke again the argument that would last
for thousands of years, the disagreement over entwining versus joining of their
souls that was still a matter of tension.
She
saw herself as a young squire not yet given her rank, for although she could
fight as a Warrior; she could not yet manifest.
She saw herself receive her first clasp of rank and again felt the pride
of wearing it.
Then the scene changed and, suddenly, she was
in the midst of a battlefield. There was
weapons fire, energy, and sorcery all around them. She watched as the Katteri Priestesses and
Priests went from one Warrior to another either healing or helping them to pass
to the All if the injury was to grave to heal.
She
was angry as she watched her comrades fighting and dying because of this Mage
Daemon and his evilness. She manifested,
and as she felt the changes in her body she looked down at the claws, the long
deadly nails, felt the incisors and knew that her eyes gleamed with green and
purple fire. She watched herself become
Katteri-enti.
As
she drew her sword and entered the field of battle, she was aware of the
immense power that flowed through her.
The feeling was stunning and exciting all at once. Their position was being overrun, and all
around her Katteri-enti were manifesting and going into hand-to-hand combat; it
was a truly awesome, yet terrible sight.
She dodged the blow from the Cor’pesie Deamon in front of her and threw up her personal energy
shield. He could not touch her now, and
she began to attack with a vengeance. Reaching out her hand, she slit his throat
and absorbed his life force.
She
saw the surprise in the Cor’pesie Deamon’s
eyes as he realized he was dying. Taking
the last of his life force, she encountered the next, and the next and they
fought until the field was littered with bodies, both Katteri and Cor’pesie Deamon, and still they
had not taken the most important thing.
As the Priestesses and Priests gathered their comrade’s bodies to be
taken to Avilion, she joined the group looking for the Mage Daemon Lord and his
prisoners.
They
headed for the stronghold. Once inside
they again met with fierce resistance.
One group fought toward the torture chamber and dungeons where the
prisoners would be, but she was with the group that fought their way into the
presence of the Mage Daemon Lord and somehow she ended up facing the Mage, and
it was the two of them. Then it was just
her, and the Mage Daemon Lord lay dead at her feet.
She
stood over him and looked at the blood around her. Moreover, she looked at the blood on her
hands and wondered if they would ever come clean. She had learned how to manifest and to kill
in the way of that Warrior millennia ago. And she realized
that, while she did not like many things about being that Warrior, she was not
willing to give up fighting against the evil of the Dark Mages then, nor the
Goa’uld now.
So, she spent more time at Avilion, the Sanctuary, and
learned how to increase and harness her energy and power. She realized this was the one thing as strong
as her love for Dayillon, this knowledge that the Dark Mages and, in the future,
the Goa’uld must be controlled at all costs.
She
lived on earth with her parents, when they thought her father had been killed
and after several years, her mother joined with her Heartmate, Llancellon. A perfect baby girl and boy were born to them
and the girl was named CsillaBellawyna Morna’Catira. Though she loved them both, she loved her little
sister more.
Even
then, her little sister and Dayillon shared a special bond; she loved to sit
and listen to them argue points of science or history. She watched the little blonde girl grow into a
beautiful woman, and she was sad when her first living ended, and Csilla chose
to go forth among the species that she could choose from, to be reborn and
learn the life lessons she would need.
And she lived through the time, both joyful and sad, when Artereos returned to them. Her mother felt so much guilt that at her death, she chose to enter the cloister at Avilion, the Sanctuary, regardless how much Artereos assured her he understood the bond between her and her Heartmate. She learned much of the Furling way of acceptance and love, at that time, and would always be grateful to her father for showing her the importance of love in the course of one’s livings. She understood why he chose to wait for his Gwynnivar to return, rather than seek a new Soulmate, taking only Heartmates in the interim, and she knew that soon Artereos and Gwynnivar would be reunited. Once Morgasha/Bastet was defeated, Gwynnivar would realize the important part she and Llancellon had played.
She
was there as she and Dayillon each died over the intervening years. And she was at the
last parting over five hundred years ago, the parting where Dayillon had died
fighting by her side not long after she lost the kits that she was
carrying. She lived only long enough to
taste revenge by winning that battle.
The double loss was more than she could bear.
She was reborn into a new life, with neither kits nor Dayillon in it. She had yet another sweetly loving affair with Merdwin, but this time, she knew both the joy and the sorrow that accompanied the birth of her kits with him. And always she searched for Dayillon.
She
finally knew the true joy of a perfect blending when she agreed to be joined
with her Tok’Ra symbiote, Siesha. She
lived the years of friendship and had full awareness of the joy that came from
that pairing. They had many years of
just the two of them before they met their Heartmates.
She
watched as the Stargate came to life and a man and woman stepped through the
gate. It was herself, and she was
laughing up at the man. Although he was
truly handsome, even beautiful, his features were not animated, until his eyes
flared and his features came to life.
Then he became absolutely breathtakingly handsome.
She
realized she was looking at Lantash and his host Dominic. She also knew she was deeply in love
again. Not the all-encompassing love she
had for her Beloved, Dayillon, but the deep and passionate love she knew for
the adorata coeurawyn, ‘Adored of her Heart.’ There was so much joy and love between them,
and it grew until it was almost a living, breathing thing between them. She had seen herself with other Heartmates
and lovers over the millennia she had lived, but none had meant what this one
did. The love she had for them was second only to that she held for Dayillon, of that she
was sure. And only
the love she held for Merdwin was as close to the depth of love she felt for
Dayillon, Dominic, and Lantash.
She
experienced the act that caused Siesha to die that she could live and give them
the vengeance against Bastet that was their due. Bastet had a hand in it being necessary that
Siesha give her life for her, for an Ashrak caused Siesha’s death.
She
watched as their two kits were born. Taesha and Lanwin.
She took part in the argument when Lantash and Dominic had wanted to
name the daughter Kataesha. She had
finally given in on the understanding that she would be called only Taesha. She knew their joy as parents as they watched
these children grow into beautiful beings.
She
was aware of the pain and foreboding when Dominic left for Bastet’s
stronghold. As the story played out in
her mind, and she saw it all and experienced it all, she thought she would die
herself. She watched herself as she
leaned down, kissed him for the last time, and whispered words of love that no
one else should have heard. She again
felt the depth of emotion she held for him and realized how very, very much she
had loved this good, gentle man, who asked so little for himself.
She
spoke the promises that bound her to say nothing to Lantash and heard the
others promise the same. The horror of
what she was about to do clawed at her mind, and she was terrified of herself
as she saw the cold-blooded way in which she calmly reached out her clawed hand
and slit her lover’s throat. He gazed at
her with love and trust shining in his eyes, giving her the strength to do what
must be done, knowing she would keep her vows to him. She watched herself withdraw the life force
from Dominic; she watched as she took his soul and placed it, shielded and safe,
within her own soul-place. Then she completed
the task; she ripped open his neck, detached Lantash and cradled him in her
arms.
There
were tears then. She watched as she came
to the decision, and she began to pull more energy from the universe than she
was supposed to be able to, in order to support his life force. His injuries were so severe that even with
the energy she was pulling, she felt the ebbing of their life forces and still
she would not give him up. She knew that
the life force she gave to Lantash before entering the Chaappa’ai was enough to
leave her severely depleted when they reached the other side; she did not
care. Only Dayillon’s deaths had hurt
her more.
Suddenly,
they were there, and the priests and priestesses were everywhere around
them. She could feel their energy being
used to sustain them. She stayed
cognizant of the purpose around them and she stayed with them until they agreed
to take more of her life force and use it to sustain him. When that was done, she slipped into the life
that was not living nor yet death, and remained there allowing them to sustain
her, until they told her he would survive.
Then she began to fight for her own life so she could return to
him. Artereos and Merdwin returned and
reminded her of her purpose and so, for that, she manifested as the Dragon and
healed quickly.
She
held him often in her arms as he healed, and they gathered strength. And, when the day
came that he could blend with Justin she was overjoyed. Life was back to normal or as normal as it
would ever be again. She relived the
next thirteen years and knew the joy they had in each other and their children.
Then
came the call from Artereos. She and her expertise were needed in the
Pegacian System, and it was time for Lanwin and Taesha to begin their formal
training with him. She was needed at
home. However, Lantash and Justin were
needed here, and so she left, and her life became a grim travesty of life with
nothing in it for her, except the fight to win the war. She felt sorrow when she heard that Justin
had been killed, but joy that Lantash survived.
She heard the news of Lantash when he and his new host met a new mate,
and with that, though she cried, still she found some peace, for she knew he
had found a new Heartmate, and he was happy.
So, the years dragged on.
She watched herself become more and more the expert and formidable
Warrior. She knew the fear she
engendered in the opposing forces, and slowly, they began to win the war
there.
Then
came the day she heard of Thor's request, and she requested the assignment
knowing it would send her to the Tau’ri.
Although she questioned that it was the right thing to do, still,
something told her she must go there.
She
felt the almost overwhelming joy when she realized that her new assignment
would bring her to her Dayillon. Her
Daniel as he now was called. She felt
the long first weeks before he understood who and what she was. She experienced the joy of their first mating
after all of the years since they had last been together, as well as all of the
subsequent ones.
Then,
the pain of seeing Lantash again for the first time tore through her
heart. She saw her heart, how it was
bleeding, how the pain was growing, and it hurt so much that she cried out.
Suddenly,
Sam found herself waking up lying on Daniel’s bed with Merdwin leaning over her
looking at her with concern. She looked
over and saw Kataya lying on the floor.
“What
happened?” Sam whispered to Merdwin.
“You
were both deeply into each others minds, and I had to force a parting. I am sorry you had to be forcibly parted, but
it was not unexpected, I assure you.”
Sam
was doing her best to get up and off the bed.
She could tell that the stones on her circlet were glowing, and she
realized that she was pulling energy into herself without trying. It was clear that some of the changes in her
were already taking place.
Someone
was pounding on the door, wanting in. “Merdwin, take care of Kat.
I’m fine.”
“She
will be fine, Samantha. She is simply
weak right now; once the Sevesh Lok Twin is performed, she will improve
rapidly. I promise you,” he stressed his
words as he saw how very upset she was.
Straightening, he strode to Kataya and picked her up.
Jerking
his head toward the door, he said to Sam, “If you feel strong enough, please let
Daniel in, before he breaks the door down.”
Daniel
almost fell into the room, followed by Jack and Teal’c. “What in the hell caused you to cry out,
Carter? We were standing just outside,
and it sounded as if you were in pain.”
Sam
looked at her friends, and her look was that of someone whose life had been
turned upside down. “Samantha,” Kat
whispered from the bed, “You promised you would not tell Lantash. You must keep your word.”
Sam
walked back to the bed where Kataya now lay, “Why? Why won’t you tell him?”
Kat
smiled slightly, before saying, “It is the way of the All, Samantha. He must choose for himself. I cannot and will not force him to make a
decision. Surely, you understand that now? Neither the All
nor I will force him or you.”
Sam
looked at her with wide, anxious eyes.
“I understand,” she whispered.
She looked around the group gazing at her. “Listen, if you guys don’t mind, I think I’d
like to go, um, rest.” She pulled in a
ragged breath, turned, and almost ran from the room.
“What
the…” Jack O’Neill exclaimed, as he
watched his 2IC bolt from the room. He
turned to the others, and asked, “Is she okay?”
“I
would seriously doubt it, Jack,” Daniel spoke up. “She’s had a whole lot of stuff thrown at her
in, what, two, three hours tops? One of us should probably follow her and see
if we can help.”
“She
might accept help from you, Daniel, but I think she needs someone else right
now,” Merdwin said.
“I
will go find Martouf and tell him that Major Carter is in need of his
assistance, “Teal’c spoke up.
Merdwin
shook his head at Teal’c’s words, and said, “I do not think that is really what
she needs either, Teal’c although no doubt he would be a comfort. I was thinking that perhaps someone else
would be better. I think Samantha needs
a friend, a close female friend, not a lover.
I have taken the liberty of contacting Janet and directing her to
Samantha’s location.”
Jack
looked at Merdwin with relief showing plainly on his face. “She didn’t go to her lab?” He frowned.
“Carter always goes and plays with her doohickeys when she’s
upset.”
“Not
this time, Colonel. She will need more
than a doohickey to reconcile herself to this, I am afraid,” Kataya sighed, and
closed her eyes.
“Merdwin,”
Daniel said, urgently.
“She
is only sleeping, Daniel,” but he frowned down at her. “Stay with her please. I think she just needs the rest, but to be
safe, I would like you to stay with her.”
Daniel
rubbed his face and looked at Jack. “I
think you’d better tell the General that we need to wait as long as possible
before we contact the Tok’Ra.”
Looking
at Kataya and then at Merdwin, Jack shook his head and headed for the
door. He stopped and looked at Merdwin for
a moment, before saying, awkwardly, “You’ll let us know if Carter, you know, if she needs anything, right?”
Merdwin
nodded.
Jack
turned to Daniel, who sat with Kataya’s hand in his. He watched his friend’s face, before saying,
“Listen Daniel, if you need to talk or anything, well, you know.” He was getting more worried about Daniel with
every hour that passed. Kataya had
Merdwin to take care of her. Sam had her
dad, Martouf, now Merdwin and Kataya, but Daniel only had Daniel. Well to be honest he had Kataya, too, but she
was a large part of the problem. He
frowned at the wall, and then he stared at Daniel.
Daniel
looked at Jack and shook his head. Along
with Teal’c, he was standing, staring at him, as he sat beside Kataya on the
bed. He knew without them saying it what
was bothering them. They were worried
about him
“Jack,
I appreciate your concern. I really will
be all right, though. I know what I’m
facing and I still wouldn’t trade my time with her for anything in this or any
other world.” Daniel said, as he
contemplated the tip of his shoes.
Looking up at the two men who were looking at him with obvious concern,
he smiled slightly at them. “I really am
okay with this; you guys don’t need to worry about me.”
“I
believe you are a strong man, Daniel Jackson, but I also believe that the
events we are about to encounter could be extremely stressful, are already
stressful. We wish you to know that we
are available should you need anything.”
“Thank
you, Teal’c. It means a lot to me to
know that the two of you will be there for me.
And although we haven’t really spoken much about…” his voice trailed off
tiredly.
As
Jack noted his friend’s obvious pallor, the worry on his face, and the
emotional tension emanating from him, he realized that Daniel wasn’t sleeping and somehow he knew it wasn’t bedroom
gymnastics keeping him awake. He wasn’t sleeping because of the worry, tension, stress,
whatever; he’d seen it before. He just didn’t know what to say to get him to stop it, if those
words even existed. So,
he said what he knew his friend would understand. “Daniel, you know, if you…well, anyway, all
you gotta, you know”
Daniel
looked up, “Yeah, I know, and hey,” he sent a small smile to Jack. “I will.”
Nodding
as he grasped the door handle, Jack said, “Yeah…yeah, I know,” he cleared his
voice, and continued, “and listen if you, you know, I’ll be…well, you know.” he
looked at the wall opposite, as he hunched his shoulder as if uncomfortable.
Daniel
looked at the door and said, “Hey, I understand, you don’t have too, really,
“he coughed. “Really, I’ll be. And I’d…well you know.”
“Yeah,”
Jack said. “Anytime,
Daniel. And Carter…I’ll, well…you
know.” He rubbed the side of his face.
“I
know. I know.” Daniel smiled at him.
As
Jack and Teal’c left, Merdwin turned to Daniel.
“I have never heard so much said, in such an incoherent way, and yet be
perfectly understood by everyone present.”
As
Merdwin followed Jack and Teal’c’s example and left, Daniel smiled softly
before lying down beside his mate to watch over her. He was worried about Sam, but Jack would
check on Sam, he knew, and he could rest easier knowing that Jack, a small
smile tugged at his lips, and Teal’c, were worrying and watching over all of
them.
TBC