“Italics – Symbiote – Host communication and/or Telepathic communicatioin

Adorata coeurawyn – adored of my heart

Sevesh Lok Twin – a rite to release a blood or aural entwining.

Adorato wyn – my adored one

Sevesh’en, sevesh – rite of either joining, entwining, or release, depending on usage, context, and spelling.

Coeurawyn – my heart

 

Blood of My Heart, Beloved of My Soul

 

Chapter 18

 

Heartmates and Vows

 

As Daniel and Sam entered her lab, he took her in his arms and she felt the tension ebb away as she relaxed.  They stood holding each other, giving one another silent comfort and as Daniel rested his cheek on the top of Sam’s head, his thoughts flew to Kataya and Lantash.  What must it be like to find a lover after one hundred years?  One that you still loved.  He had no doubt about that.  Kataya loved Lantash just as passionately as she had a hundred years ago.  He had heard it in her voice. 

 

What would it be like he wondered, to love two people so much?  Because Kataya did love him, Daniel.  He knew that.  She loved him more deeply and passionately than she loved Lantash.  That wouldn’t make it easier though, it would make it worse.  Her heart had to be breaking in two and he didn’t know what to do for her.  He drew a shaky breath, thinking about what she must be going through, what both of them must be going through.  Looking down at Sam, he revised his thoughts again.  What all of them were going through. 

 

He tightened his arms around Sam.  He and Sam had almost become passionate Heartmates.  They had come very close.  If they had, then they would be in a similar position to the one that Kataya and Lantash were in now.  It would have been easy to become Sam’s passionate Heartmate.  What, he asked himself, would it be like to have to choose between Sam and Kataya?  He knew whom he would choose, and yet, just the thought made him ache.  He wouldn’t want to live without Kataya, but the thought of losing Sam made him catch his breath.  God, it hurt.

 

Sam closed her eyes and relaxed into Daniel’s body.  He felt so strong and safe.  Familiar.  What if they had become passionate Heartmates?  What if she was to be asked to give up this man and his sweet love of her?  What if she lost this?  What if she had to choose between these two men that she loved so much?  She was surprised by the ache that thought created in her heart. 

 

She and Daniel were only Heartmates on a platonic level, and the thought caused pain.  How much worse to be bonded mates and have to make this choice?  She wouldn’t want to live without Martouf and Lantash, but the thought of losing Daniel made her catch her breath.  God, it hurt.

 

As his thoughts caused his heart to ache, Daniel buried his face in Sam’s hair, breathed in her scent, and his arms tightened convulsively.

 

“Daniel?  Are you all right?”  Sam asked softly

 

“No.  No, I’m not, Sam.  I was imagining what it would be like if I had to choose between you and Kataya.  The pain I felt surprised me, that’s all.  If I feel that way about you and her, how much more painful must this be for them?  I mean, I know they won’t actually lose each other, but in a way, they will and they’ll never have it back.  I think that would be very hard to do.  On the other hand, I couldn’t give up Kataya.  That would truly end my world.” 

 

“I know, Daniel.  I’ve been having similar thoughts.  If I had to choose between you, I’d be heartbroken.  Just the thought of losing you hurt, physically hurt.  I couldn’t live without Martouf and Lantash, but I’d be inconsolable if I lost you, too.” 

 

“We’ll all make it through this, Sam.  I know we will.  It may be hard, but we can do it.  We have each other and they have us.  It may not seem like that’s important, but it is.”  As tears found their way down her cheeks, he slowly caressed her back and she quieted.  Backing slowly toward the desk, he snatched a tissue.  He was getting good at this, he thought wryly.

 

“I’m sorry, Daniel.  I know crying is pointless, but sometimes it just seems like that is the only reasonable response.”  She smiled a little, “Even if it isn’t reasonable at all,” She said sadly. 

 

“Daniel?”  She paused for a moment, and then continued, “Kataya said she and Lantash were entwined mates.  She explained to me what the difference between entwined and joined was, but she didn’t explain what happens in each ceremony.  Do you know?”

 

“I wish I could remember, but that’s one memory I can’t seem to find.  I have a feeling, though, that it has something to do with their auras.  And for some reason whenever I think of it, I get the impression of blood.”

 

Sam nodded her agreement.  “Daniel, I’m not sure either, but I agree that they have more than an emotional bond.  I think they have a physical bond, and I think it is a very painful process to break it.”

 

“What makes you say that, Sam?”

 

“I, um, can see things in a mirror.”

 

Daniel stared at her.  “In a mirror,” he repeated.

 

She nodded.  “I don’t think it’s a secret or anything.  It’s called the Mirror of the Mysts.  Kataya and Merdwin have the sight.  She stopped and then whispered, “And so do I.”

 

“Oookaay.  So, I take it you’ve—seen something—in this mirror that leads you to say what you did about the physical link?”

 

Sam nodded her head.  “Yes.  I, we, that is Kataya and I both saw it.  She’s bleeding, and you and Lantash are arguing.  She sees Merdwin in it at that time, but I don’t,” Sam explained what she and Kat had seen.

 

“How bad is she bleeding, Sam?”  Daniel asked not really sure he wanted to know, but realizing that he needed to be aware of this if it was likely to happen.

 

“She says it isn’t very much, but it looks like a lot to me, Daniel.  My first impression, when I saw it, was that she was dying,” Sam almost whispered.

 

Daniel briefly closed his eyes.  “Does everything always happen that you see, Sam?”

 

“Kataya says not.  She says events can change things at least to some degree,” She tried to assure him.

 

“Then we’ll just have to see to it that it doesn’t happen,” Daniel said quietly.

 

Sam gave her agreement, and then added, “I just wish there was something we could do for them.”

 

“I think the only thing we can give them is our love and support, Sam.  They need to know we’re there for them, and that we’ll help them in any way that we can.” 

 

He hesitated for a moment then continued, “After she told us about Dominic and you all left, she told me that sometimes she can’t face what she is, what she sometimes has to do.  Nevertheless, as much as she despises what she is, she won’t stop.  Deep down she knows there is a greater purpose, and she buries the pain.  Like Jack and Teal’c.  And you, Sam.  You are all Warriors, and you all do things that you hate, but you do them anyway because you know that is how it has to be.  All the rest of us can do is love you and accept you for the wonderful beings you are.”

 

Sam smiled at him, as she leaned back in his arms, then wrapped him in a tight hug, and gave him a brief kiss.  Neither heard the door open, but they both heard the voice.  “No wonder neither of you seem too upset over this thing.  What in the Hell is going on?”

 

Sam gasped, as Daniel murmured to her, “Did your horoscope today say anything at all about not getting out of bed?  Because if it didn’t, it should have, and so should mine.” 

 

He slowly allowed his arms to drop from Sam and just as slowly turned around to face Jacob Carter.  “Don’t worry, Jacob.  It’s not what it looks like.”  He sighed.  “Well, I guess my quarters are the only place that Sam or I can stand to be in without being swamped emotionally, so we’ll all go there.  Okay, Sam?”

 

She nodded tiredly.  “Come on, Dad.  We’ll see if we can explain all of this so that your volt-o–meter isn’t pegging every five minutes…what’s Selmak doing anyway?  Why isn’t he keeping you on a more even keel?”

 

Jacob looked at the floor and then up to his daughter’s face.  “We had an argument,” he mumbled.

 

Sam smiled at him, and said, almost cheerfully, “Of course you did.  I guess you should have read your horoscope this morning, too.”  Jacob gave his daughter a quizzical look and she winked at Daniel.  “Well, that’s Daniel’s latest theory anyway.  Come on, Daniel and I will tell you what we can about what is going on.”  Putting an arm around each of these two men in her life, they started down the hall.

 

“Samantha?”

 

“Yes, Kat?  Are you all right?”

 

“I am fine.  I need you to do something.  Please link to the others on SG1 and tell them not to repeat the story I told you of Dominic’s death.  I would not have told you if I had known this situation would arise.  I have never told anyone else and I cannot tell them.  Merdwin does not know either.  And Samantha, Lantash never knew and he must not know.  Please do not tell him.”   

 

She heard Sam gasp in surprise.  “Kat?  Why?”

 

“I cannot explain now.  Ask me later, please.”

 

“All right.” 

 

She felt Kataya shut down the link, and she proceeded to open one to the remainder of SG1, including Daniel, as he walked beside her.  She didn’t know the reason, but she would do as Kat asked.  After all, what she had told them was very personal.  If she didn’t want anyone else to know, then Sam would take care of it.  She’d have to find out if the Colonel had told the General, and if so, tell him to take care it went no further.

 

Lantash lifted his hand and softly brushed it across her cheek.  It had been so many years since last he had touched this woman.  He shuddered as the familiar feelings touching her had always invoked coursed through him.  He felt as if his heart was breaking; he did not know what to do, what to say.  He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, but it was Kataya who spoke. 

 

“I believe we should sit down.  I have many things to tell you; we might as well be as comfortable as we can.”  They seated themselves at the conference table. 

 

Once they were settled in chairs close to one another, Lantash took her hands in his.  His thumbs caressed her gently.  “I never thought I would ever see you again, adored one.  I was afraid you had fallen in battle and had not chosen to be reborn,” he finally said, his voice soft and tender, but with an edge that proclaimed the emotions roiling just under the surface.

 

Pushing her own emotions away, she replied, “I have not fallen in over five hundred years now, Lantash, nor been anywhere near it.”  She shook her head.  “I had the war in the Pegacian System in my hands.  I did not see as much battle as I was used to do.”  More an evasion than an outright lie, she thought, but he did not need to know right now how often she had been in tight situations. 

 

Gripping her hands tightly, he said, “That is not a true statement, Kataya.  You came very close to falling in battle during the conflict with Bastet.  But, it was I that almost ended your life, not an enemy warrior.  I have never forgotten.”

 

“You should.  It was a long time ago.  It was a battle I chose and a choice I made.  Had I fallen, it would have been my choice, Lantash.  And it was as much an enemy Warrior as if they had been standing there.  Bastet was the cause, not you.  When will you stop blaming yourself for something that did not even happen?”

 

“When I find out why they were afraid you were going to lose your mind, your life and your soul,” He offered his answer.

 

“There is nothing to know.  I was distraught over what had been done to you and Dominic.  Nothing more.  This is a futile discussion.  We did not resolve it in thirteen years, and we will not resolve it now.  Do you not wish for news of your children?”  She asked, turning the conversation to a safer, although perhaps as emotional, a topic.

 

Lantash knew this woman well; she would not tell him.  “Yes, I do.  Tell me of them.  Have they become the Warriors we always thought they would become?  I – I have thought of them often.”  He stopped, swallowed, and took a shaky breath, “I apologize.  I have often wondered if they were alive and well, or if something had happened to them, to you.”  Again, he stopped unable to go on.  He shook his head as he looked at their tightly clasped hands, “Tell me of my son and daughter, adorata coeurawyn.  Tell me, show me?” 

 

With their joined hands as the link, Kataya began to tell him of the son and daughter he had known for only thirty years.  She told him of their first years in training, how they had been with Artereos and learned all from the great warrior.  How Merdwin had always been kind to them, contrary to what he had feared.  How they had gone to the Ancients for several years and the years they had spent with the Nox.  How they loved to be with Thor, how they would tease him, and how much they enjoyed going out with him on the Beliskner. 

 

She told him of their years at Avilion, the Sanctuary, and how it was there that they had found their place and laid the foundation for what would become their life quest.  He could see it all through her eyes.  He watched how they had matured and grown.  A Furling at thirty was an adolescent and still had many physical changes to go through as they grew to become an adult and a Katteri.  They had grown strong and beautiful.  He smiled through the tears that fell upon their joined hands, as she showed him the son so like his beloved Dominic. 

 

Except that the eyes had changed over the years.  They were no longer Dominic’s.  They were his.  He gasped as he opened his eyes and looked at Kataya.  “He also has your skin, adorato coeurawyn and much of your charm and personality, as does your daughter.”  She showed him his daughter and he saw how she was a beautiful female version of his beloved Dominic, a female version with eyes of liquid amber and a smile that would make you think you were hearing laughter.

 

Finally, she finished with them as she had last seen them; laughing at her as they left for the Cardwellan sector on the flagship, the leader in battles, the DuxBellorum, ready for the adventures all youth craved.  “They will be here as soon as Taesha has recovered.  She was captured in battle not long ago.  I have not seen her, but Merdwin tells me she will be ready for the battle with Bastet.  She and Lanwin will truly be overjoyed to see you, Tash.  They have never forgotten you for one moment and have always hoped to find you again.  They have missed you very much, but please know that you have lived in their hearts.”    

 

“They wish to join the Tok’Ra and work with their father’s people against the Goa’uld.  It has been their wish since their time at Avilion and I will support them in this.  They have been waiting only until they have attained their rank and joined the Table.  That will happen when they come here to the Tau’ri.  You and I will knight them before the battle.  They shall enter this fight as full Katteri-enti, no longer squires.  I am glad that you will be here, Lantash, adorato coeurawyn.  It will mean much to them,” She told him sincerely, her voice deep with emotion.

 

Smoothly, she changed the subject to work around to what must be said between them.  “Merdwin,” she watched him frown at the name of the man who had once been his rival, “has found his Soulmate, here among the Tau’ri.  We are all very happy for him.”  The grip on her hands tightened.  “I also have found my Soulmate, just as you have found yours.”

 

Still he refused, or perhaps could not, say anything.  She took a deep breath and continued in a soft, gentle voice that held her love for him, “Lantash, we must go through the rite of Sevesh Lok Twin as soon as possible.  It will only become more painful for both of us if we do not.  We can have Merdwin perform the rite or if you prefer we…”

 

“No.”

 

“Lantash, please, do not,” she whispered, her voice revealing the agony she was feeling at the thought of parting from him.

 

“No, Kataya, I will not break our bond.  We are Heartmates.  We will always be Heartmates.  It is allowed to have a Heartmate as well as a Soulmate.  You know this.”

 

“Not a passionate Heartmate, Lantash.  As you are aware.  Do you honestly think you can be near me and not feel the pull of our entwining?  It is there.  We feel it even now, and our love is too deep and strong for one another, to deny it for long.”  She sighed deeply.  “I am not asking you to break our bond completely, Tash, adorato wyn.  Only the entwining.  We must break it or it will destroy us,” she said, as she pulled her hands from his clasp, got up and walked across the room. 

 

Turning back to him, she said, “Daniel is Samantha’s Heartmate, Lantash.  They have a close and loving relationship, but they are not lovers.” 

 

“We could have the same, if you will allow it.  We will always love each other.  Nothing, nothing, in this Universe will ever change that, but I will not hurt Daniel or Samantha by remaining your Passionate Heartmate.  It is not fair to them or to us.” 

 

“I made vows to you, Kataya.  How can I, in honor, break them?”  He asked her.

 

“How can you, in honor, not?”  She questioned him gently.

 

“When I look at you, when I am near you, I want to love you forever.  I want to hear you moan my name and see you wild in my arms again,” His voice held the longing of the years they had been apart.

 

“And Samantha?  What do you want and see when you are with her, Lantash?  Do you not also feel the same for her only more intensely?”  She threw her questions at him, knowing she had to break through the haze of confusion and emotion he was feeling.  Gentleness was not working, perhaps forcing him to face what was happening would.

 

“Yes,” he ground out, “Yes, damn you.  Do you realize what you are doing to me?”  He asked, the pain he was feeling evident in his voice.

 

“Tell me, Tash.  Tell me, so I can understand how you can even consider hurting Samantha so,” her voice said plainly how she felt about doing that.

 

“We are talking about us, Kataya, not Samantha.” 

 

“We cannot talk about one without the other,” she pointed out, ruthlessly.

 

He got up and walked across the floor to her.  Please, she thought, please do not touch me, adorato coeurawyn, for I am only so strong.

 

He stood in front of her, and asked, angrily, “Do have any idea what it was like after you left?  I wanted to die.  I did not care what happened to us as a blended pair.  I almost got Justin killed, Kataya, because I did not care.  But, I was saved.  Again.”  He laughed harshly, and continued, “You were all I could think about.  All I dreamed about.  I heard your voice, your footsteps, and I could not stop expecting to see you come though our doorway, laughing at something, or singing some chant as you tried a new energy spell.” 

 

He stared at her bleakly, and his voice was hoarse with emotion, as he said, “It was as if all the color in the world was gone.  There were no suns, no stars in the sky.  The waters of the oceans were gray and so were the grass, the trees, and the sand.  It was as if my heart had been taken, and in its place, there was nothing—nothing.  I have never felt such utter desolation in all of my thousands of years.  You were the light in my life, Kataya, adorata coeurawyn.  When you left, the light of my life went out and my days were dark.  My nights were indescribably cold and empty, my heart, and I cannot just let you go again.  I think it would truly break my heart this time.”

 

“Ah, do not cry, do not cry, my love.”  As he tried to take her in his arms, she raised her tear-stained face to his and hissed as she shoved him. 

 

“Do you think you were the only one to suffer from our parting?  Do you think the hours of the days were any less bleak and lonely for me?  Do you think that I did not miss you every minute of every hour of every day?”  She gasped, as she pulled herself free from the grip he had on her arms, and then turned to throw her words at him, “I was so alone I thought I would die of it.  The place my mind went was dark and terrifying.  Like you, I took the most dangerous missions I could.” 

 

She laughed, almost hysterically.  “I am the most feared Katteri-enti Warrior in the Pegacian system, Lantash.  As long as there was the least justification, I killed with impunity.” 

 

She leaned against the wall and twisted her head from side to side, as if to deny the words she was saying.  As the tears washed her violet eyes, she looked at him and whispered, “It was as if I had died inside, Lantash, as if there was nothing left to live for.  I went through the motions, but they were meaningless to me.  I did what I had to do, because it was expected of me, but on the inside, there was nothing but emptiness. 

 

She pushed herself away from the wall and wiped the tears from her face.  As she walked away from him, she gathered herself for what she was going to try to do.  She turned and looked at him, as she said, “Then I met the first of my lovers.  Soon, I realized that you were just another lover to me, that one lover was much like another, when all was said and done.  I no longer pined for you or worried about you.” 

 

“I was happy for you when I heard you had found a Heartmate and bonded.  I felt much less guilty.  I lost track of you and never bothered to try to find you.  In fact,” she shrugged, “I assumed you were either happily bonded or dead and either was fine with me.  My lovers kept me very happy, Lantash.” 

 

“If you need a day or so to get used to the idea that is fine, but I think it would be best if we performed the sevesh as soon as possible.”  She turned her back to him again, so he could not see her face.  Taking a short fast breath, she turned to him with a slight smile.  “I really do not want to upset my present lover.  He is most responsive and passionate, and I wish to keep him happy for now.” 

 

Lantash was looking bewildered, as he said to her, “I thought you said he was your Soulmate.”

 

Again, she shrugged negligently, as she said in a somewhat bored voice, “Well, he thinks he is.  Maybe he will be, at least until I become bored with him.”

 

“I cannot believe you are saying these things.  This is not you talking, Kataya.  You have never...”

 

“Perhaps you never really knew me, Lantash.  Or, perhaps I have simply changed.  Either way, the truth is that I do not care for you that way anymore.  It was the shock of seeing you after all this time, of remembering what it was like at the time, nothing more.  It was a terrible time for me, Lantash, but that is over now.  I have moved on with my life and so have you. 

 

Once more, she turned her back on him.  “Now, if you do not mind, I still have several things to do before I can go to Daniel, and I would like to get them finished.  I suggest you go find Samantha.  Moreover, be very glad you have her now instead of me.  Samantha will never take a lover.  I am not the woman I was, Lantash, and I would only hurt you.” 

 

She went to the table to pick up the folder that was hers.  She heard him pick his up and storm out the door.  Her legs refused to hold her up and she collapsed onto the chair.  Putting her head down onto her folded arms, she cried as if her heart would break.”

 

“I do not think I have ever heard so many falsehoods come out of your mouth, my dear.  Do you not think you went a little far?”

 

“Merdwin,” she gasped.  She looked at him with tear filled eyes.  He held out his arms and she went into them, as she released the pent up anguish that was in her heart.  This was her friend, the one person, besides her father, that truly understood how much she would do, how far she would go to assure that the right thing was done.  As she sobbed in his arms, he softly stroked her hair, as he had when she was a child, and murmured words of comfort. 

 

Eventually, he said to her, “You are going to make yourself ill.  Moreover, you must think of Daniel, too.  He is hurting just knowing how you feel about Lantash; do not make it worse by also allowing him realize how deep your own pain is.  I assume the bleeding has started.”

 

She began to calm down and the tears slowed to a trickle.  She pulled herself from his arms and smiled at him.  “I got your shirt wet.”

 

“Yes, but it will dry.  You did not answer me, Kataya.”  He waited, patiently.

 

“It started as soon as I realized who it was, but it is not much.”

 

“No doubt this has caused it to increase.”

 

“Yes,” She agreed. 

 

“You will tell me if it gets much worse.  I will talk to him.  He was angry just now, but once he stops to think, he will know you were lying to him.  He always knew when you lied to him.  It is the only time you turned your back on him.  It will not take him long to figure it out, so if you do not want another emotional scene tonight, I suggest you go to your room.  I will find Daniel and send him.  All right?”

 

Reaching up and stroking his face softly, she said, “You have always been a good friend to me, Merdwin.  I am truly happy for you and Janet.  You know that, do you not?”

 

“Yes, and I am truly happy you and Daniel will finally be together again, as you should be.  Because you will be,” he said seriously.

 

“We shall see,” she said bleakly.  “I think I will go to my room.  I will be all right, so do not bother Daniel.  I must talk to Samantha though, it is very important.”

 

“Kataya, Lantash needs her right now and you need Daniel.  Your talk with Samantha is important, but it can wait until tomorrow.  Please.”

 

She searched his face.  “Merdwin, she is the one.  I must tell her who she is.  It is imperative that we bond soon.”  She rubbed her forehead, then found her circlet and put it on.  She needed the energy right now.  “We will need to go to Avilion for the bonding, if she agrees.” 

 

“I know.  But it can wait one day, Kataya, coeurawyn.  Go to your room.  I will find both Daniel and Samantha and send them to their respective mates.  You need the rest.  Now go.”

 

Giving up arguing with him, she nodded, picked up her papers and left the room.

 

Merdwin sighed.  It was going to be a long week, as the Tau’ri said.

 

“Lantash, we have been here in Samantha’s chamber for a half an hour, and you are still as furious as you were when we left the briefing room.  You must calm yourself or you will upset Samantha.”  Martouf had been quiet for the entire conversation with Kataya, but he would not be silent and let Lantash cause Samantha any more pain than she was already enduring because of him.

 

“I am calm,” Was the obviously false reply.

 

“Then why are you grinding our teeth and pacing the room in this manner?”  Martouf snapped.

 

“I am not angry.  I simply have excess energy to work off.” 

 

“You should not try to lie to me.  You cannot.  I always know when you are trying to lie to me, just as you know when I am attempting to lie to you,”  Martouf replied knowingly.

 

“I am a fool.  A stupid, stupid fool.”  Lantash suddenly stopped pacing and sat on the edge of the bed. 

 

“I know, so I will not disagree with you, but I think you should tell me why you have suddenly come to this realization.”

 

“Exactly what you said, Martouf.  She was lying.  Blatantly lying.  I always knew when she was lying, why did I miss it this time?”

 

“What was she lying about?  And how can you be so sure?” Martouf responded promptly.

 

Lantash gave the equivalent of a snort of disgust.  “I was mated to the woman for eighty years.  I always knew.  Whenever she lies to me, she turns her back.  As soon as she started talking about lovers and not caring for Daniel or me, she started turning her back.  I knew it was not like her to say those things.  I should have recognized that she was lying.”

 

“Why would she lie to you, Lantash?  That does not make sense.”  Martouf sounded confused.

 

“She wants us to break our bond, Martouf.  She was trying to convince me she no longer cares for me.”  He frowned at that thought, knowing it was true.

 

“If she went to that much trouble to convince you, perhaps you should consider it,” Martouf replied.

 

Lantash was quiet for quite some time.  “You wish me to break the bond.  I understand.  You have no feelings for her.  I am sorry.”

 

“That is not exactly true, Lantash.  I am feeling everything you are feeling.  You have been unable to shield me; these emotions are too strong.  Therefore, I do care for her.  Which is a very odd sensation I must admit, and it must be very much like what Samantha felt when she was left with Jolinar’s feelings.  A love for someone she did not know.” 

 

Lantash was quiet and then said, “Perhaps we were not as patient with Samantha as we should have been.  I wonder how she finally came to the conclusion that she loved us?”  Lantash contemplated this rather puzzling thought for a moment before Martouf reclaimed his attention.

 

“We should ask her when she comes.  I wonder where she is?”  Martouf was becoming anxious.  He assumed control.

 

“She is with Daniel.  Perhaps in her lab.”  Martouf headed out the door.  He wanted to see Samantha.  She was their love.  The feelings he had for her were stronger than those others were and he needed her, he needed to see her, and hold her, and hear her voice. 

 

“Martouf.  My feelings for Kataya do not diminish what I feel for Samantha.  I love both of them.  This is very hard for me to explain.  I am sorry.”

 

Martouf sighed.  “I understand, Lantash.  I love them both, too.  However, I love Samantha more and I want to be sure she knows that.  Even if we are not going through with breaking our bond right away, I want her to know that she is the one I want to be with forever.”  They had reached the lab, but Samantha was not there, and neither was Daniel.  They stood still, puzzled.  Samantha had said she was taking Daniel to her lab.  Where could they have gone, Lantash?

 

 “Perhaps they went to their eating facility,” Lantash suggested.

 

“Possibly.” He left the lab and started down the hall, spotting Samantha and Daniel walking toward them.  They had their arms around each other, seeming very comfortable, and content together.  What was it Kataya had said?  Daniel and Samantha are platonic Heartmates.  They are very close and love each other very much.  Martouf felt his heart constrict.  This was what Kataya was offering them.  This closeness.  He hoped Lantash could accept it.  It looked comforting.  He wondered if Daniel had ever kissed his Samantha.  He shook his head and then smiled as they came up to them.

 

“Daniel, Samantha.  Lantash and I were looking for you,” Martouf said.

 

“Where is Kataya?”  Daniel asked.  He looked at Martouf with a question in his eyes.  Martouf avoided that question, but told him where she had been. 

 

Sensing his distress, Sam turned to Daniel.  “I think I should take Martouf and Lantash and just maybe try to relax this evening.  I’m taking him home with me.  How about you?”

 

“As soon as I can find Kataya, I’ll see what she wants to do.  I’ll take her wherever she wants to go.  But didn’t you say you had to meet with her, Sam?”

 

“Yes, I forgot.”  Sam sighed, as she considered her options.  “Kataya said it was really important.  We have to meet.”  She nodded to Merdwin, who was coming toward them down the hall.

 

“Merdwin, have you seen, Kat?”  She asked, when he was close enough to hear her.

 

“I believe she was going to her quarters.  Did you need her for something?”

 

Sam nodded.  “We were supposed to get together to go over some things.  I’ll find her through the link.”

 

“No, please do not, Samantha,” Merdwin said quietly.  “I convinced her that your talk could wait until tomorrow.  She is in a great deal of emotional distress, as I am sure you and Daniel are aware being Heartmates yourselves.  This is a stressful situation for all of us, but mostly for the five of you.” 

 

“I suggest you take Martouf and Lantash somewhere quiet, so you can have some private time together.” 

 

Then he turned to Daniel and said, “I think she needs you very much right now, Daniel.  Take her to your home and stay with her.”

 

“According to Kataya, he is nothing more than a toy, Merdwin,” Lantash bit out.  “So why would she need him more than you?  You were her lover also, were you not?”

 

“We are all aware of what my feelings for Kataya were.  However, those are in the past.  Something you should think about.  You know you are lying about what she feels for Daniel, also.  I never knew you to be petty, Lantash.”

 

Lantash looked taken aback for a moment and then had the grace to look ashamed.  “You are correct, of course.  I apologize, Daniel.  I am still surprised that Kataya managed to lie to me.”

 

“What was she lying about?  That doesn’t sound like Kataya,” Daniel said, obviously upset. 

 

Lantash was uncomfortable, and it showed.  Martouf was letting him wallow in the mess he had made.  Clearing his throat, he finally said, “I think you should ask her yourself, Daniel.  The remark I made to you was made in anger.  It was not true.” 

 

Daniel nodded.  “I’m going to go find her.  Take care, Sam,” he said, as he kissed her cheek.  He headed down the hall, and Merdwin joined him. 

 

Lantash and Samantha looked at one another.  “Have you been to your quarters yet?”  She asked.

 

“No.  Do you know where it is?”

 

“This way.  It’s just down from mine actually.  We’ll get your stuff and head out for my place.  That sound okay?”

 

Martouf sighed, as Lantash said, “Yes, it sounds very okay, Samantha.  I am looking forward to spending some time with you, as you know.”  As they entered the room he had been allotted, he put his hand on her arm and gently pulled her to him.  He enfolded her in his arms and laid his cheek against the top of her head.  “I am so sorry, Samantha.  I do not know exactly where to start, but I think we should talk.  I do not want you to think I love you any less than I said I did.  You are my Soulmate, and I love you very much indeed.”

 

Sam laid her fingers on his lips.  “I know.  We’ll talk all you want, but not until we get home and relax.  All right?”

 

“All right.  It looks like they have put my trunk over there,” he said, as he picked it up and turned toward her.  “I am ready, my love.”

 

“Well, not quite.  I think you should put on the BDU’s that should be in the drawers.  We’ll stop at the mall and get you some jeans.  If you are going to be staying here you’ll need something besides what you have on to wear.”  Maybe doing something as mundane as shopping would calm them both somewhat.

 

Martouf took over as they dressed and Lantash stepped back try to recover from the emotional storm they had just been through.  Within minutes, they were on their way to the surface.  Neither was sure how this evening was going to end, but they both had hopes of a specific ending.  Sam grinned.  It was a good thing she didn’t have her bike today.  The car would probably be bad enough.  As she took him over to the little sports car she was driving today, she nodded to the other side. 

 

“Get in.”

 

“In this?  What is it?” 

 

“It’s my car.  Put your seatbelt on.”

 

“Seatbelt?”  He asked.  As she reached across him and showed him how to fasten it, he asked, “What is this for Samantha?”

 

“Well, if I get hit by another car, hit someone, or miss a curve and we wreck, it will help keep you from getting hurt too badly.” 

 

“Does this happen often?  I do not think you should be in this if it is not safe.  Perhaps we should stay on the base tonight, Samantha,” Martouf said nervously, as the car seemed to close around him. 

 

As Sam let out the clutch, he was thrown back against the seat.  Sam smiled an evil little smile.  Mountain driving in a sports car was fun, and, she justified herself, the view was spectacular.

 

TBC

 

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