Michiou's tale
1st - 7th of Segis 3055
It's hard to believe it's been months since I last touched this diary. We've been so busy in the castle that I hardly have time to sit down, much less to write things down.
As it is I sneaked out while the king was otherwise entertained with Mirial. Prince Kaylian is sleeping right beside on the bed. His the sweetest kid I have ever know, but then again Kay and Mirial are near saints. I always thought Nightshadow men were demons, yet Mirial is nothing but kind and gentle. I'm very lucky to have them as masters.
Anyway the strangest thing happened this week. The Ragghyr's cousin's husband, that's Elris's husband, appeared out of nowhere after he had been considered dead for two long years. Everybody was so happy they have been celebrating for a week.
I think he had a hard time getting here, but he did return to his beloved. Elris is very fortunate to have someone who loves him so much.
I often wish I had some one like that. Sometimes I feel so frustrated, specially when the other guys make fun of me cause I'm fat; and I'm not that fat, just a little chubby. It's not like I want to be this way, if I had it my way I'd be handsomer than Kay Salgis.
Ah.... this is not a healthy way to think, I...
Have to go the king is asking for me.
20th of Segis 3055
Finally sometime to myself, ever since the prince was born I don't get to rest much. I don't know why Kay keeps the nanny, his always tagging along after me. Of course I've always got sweets for him; Mennia would have a fit if she saw what I let him eat.
Kaylian is a happy kid, he is got tons of people who love him. I only had my father and that wasn't much. He was always busy taking care of the former king, Kay's father.
That's one of the things Kay and I share, our father's were never there for us. Someday when I have kids of my own I am going to quit the valet's job and dedicate myself to my family.
I'd be ending a three hundred years old tradition, but it'd be worth it. After all it's not like I am poor or anything. There are no slaves in Jureal, so I get a hefty pay for my service to the king.
That's what attracted Emia to me! She knew I'd be able to give her all the luxuries she desired. Sometimes I think I should have gone on pretending that she loved me, at least I wasn't so lonely then. But I was so screwed up, it hurt knowing that what she saw when she looked at me was a purse full of gold.
There's bound to be someone for me too, right. There has to be.
1st 2nd of Obar 3055
Today, yesterday judging by the clock , was Mirial's nineteenth birthday . Everybody who is somebody (or wants to pass for one) was there. The Royal Guard made a display of it's fighting skills and a few of the guards performed magical feats for the enjoyment of the guest.
Oh... and a new Royal Guard arrived. I've heard he is a Tharian from Sandasi Quiari. They are the ones that worship Shariar as an energy being, they claim it is the purer form to all things. I don't quite understand what it means. Shouldn't Shariar be the same in all it's forms?
Anyway the guy had blue hair from what I saw. Kay says he is very powerful and he is thinking of assigning him to the protection of the prince, after he passes his formal training that is. We'll see.
9th of Obar 3055
The terrible rains of Obar have arrived and in what way.
It started raining while I was at the castle's forest looking for darkberries, they are Kaylian's favorite, and I got lost. Imagine that after living all my life here, but the rain was so dense you couldn't see three feet in front of you.
At last I found a familiar sight and headed towards the kitchens. However I changed my mind and turned around towards my room and then I crashed against someone, a man I believe. Am not sure but I think it was that Tharian .I could swear whoever it was, was following me. It's a foolish notion I know. What would he be following me for? And yet, what was he doing in the servants quarter? The barracks are all the way across the palace. This has really got me worried.
25th of Obar 3055
He has been in training for about two weeks now, yet he still manages to pop up wherever I go. Spooky doesn't even describe what this feels like.
Why the other night, after I put Kaylian to bed and saw to Kay's needs before he went to bed, I found him right outside the King's chambers. He wasn't on the night detail, so what was he doing there? The guy didn't say a word, just stood there, staring at me and then he made a small bow and left. I came as close to running, without actually doing it, as I could. When I reached my room I was breathless, both from the effort and the fear. What does he want?
30th of Obar 3055
Diary I am so confused... I don't even know how to explain what's happened.
Kay went to inspect the barracks, as he is wont to do from time to time, and I went with him as always. He retired to have a private conversation with his generals and I had to wait for him outside.
So, who happened to pass by? The guy! He started talking to me like we were old friends, and I don't even know his name. After a while I noticed a strange look on his face. He kept staring at me when I laughed at his jokes, I was starting to feel uncomfortable. And then he... out of nowhere he kissed me... it felt so weird.
I 'm so embarrassed. I should have been angry , screaming and struggling, instead I was in la-la land. The sensation was so incredible, my whole body was tingling, but then I heard them laughing at me.
The soldiers were calling me fat pansy and queer. I've never felt so much pain. It was a joke, a cruel one, all the guys were laughing at me and it hurt.
I'll never forgive him!
1st of Niev 3055
The bastard keeps bothering me everywhere I go. Can't he understand that I hate his guts? He insists that he is innocent, that he meant the kiss. Bastard!
I know am not pretty. Why would he want to kiss me? There are a lot of handsome, even pretty, guys among the soldiers and the courtiers , why the hell would he settle with the homely servant boy?
Cause he thinks it's fun to play with me.
I hate him and I swear if he comes near me again I'll make him regret it.
2nd of Niev 3055
Help! He is driving me mad. He keeps following me like a sad puppy. The lunatic had the nerve to declare his undying love to me in front of the staff. My god! Some of them laughed straight out with no regard for my shame. This is getting out of control.
He went so far as to threaten me. According to him my disdain is driving him to the extreme and he wont be responsible if I force him to use violence. The last words I heard as I ran away were something to the fact that he'd prefer death and dishonor to never claiming me . What the hell was he talking about?
3rd of Niev 3055
Shariar's Light! I now know what he meant! I don't think I'll ever be the same again!He has changed my life forever!
Today I... I opted for taking my daily bath in the communal bath as I usually do when the weather is cold, since the water there is constantly warmed by huge boilers. Purposely I waited until most of the servants were gone. I always try to avoid been naked around other people. It's never been a pleasant experience for me.
When I was convinced that I was the only one left,I... undressed and entered the shallow pool. My mind was drifting as it always does when I heard a gentle splash behind me. My body tensed up at the intrusion, but I pretended not to mind the sudden arrival.
There was something wrong I could feel it and yet I did not look at the person. Then he was all over me. Gods! He was totally naked and he pinned me to the last of the stone steps that lead into the water.
I was so frightened I tried to scream. But, before I could do so, he silenced me with a furious kiss. My fear was turning to panic at that point.
What made my fear worse was his huge cock pressing against my thigh. He kept pushing it against me like dogs sometimes do.
I think I clawed at him then, cutting a deep gauge on his back that made him release me, if only for a short moment. I turned trying to crawl away from him on my hands and knees. My whole body was trembling and I was so scared I could barely move. I felt like the water had become tar.
My hand had just reached floor level when he grabbed me by the waist from behind and pulled me taunt against his body. At once I began a frantic struggle, but he held me so tight I could not budge.
Holding me like that he told me he loved me. That I was driving him crazy with my scorn. He said he could not take it anymore... He wanted me so desperately.
My mind went blank from the shock. He wanted me? Fat and ugly me?
I laughed bitterly at him, told him his joke was past cruel.
He was so angry he shook me by the arms and pinned me to the floor again , kneeling over me. I was an idiot, he said , if I believed that I was not pretty. He found me beautiful and desirable. Well the sizable erection he was sporting seemed to prove his point.
He'd been in love with me from the instant that he saw me, he added, but had been to shy to speak to me. When he kissed me that first time he thought he had finally broken through to me, only to see such hate in my hazel eyes when we parted. And the pain, he wished he'd died before he had caused me such pain.
I was dumb struck. Him, a powerful mage-warrior, a Royal Guard, afraid of me?
He must have seen the shock in my eyes, because of the saddened way he told me his next words. One single word from my lips, he whispered, had the power to totally destroy him.
And then he asked me the last words I had ever expected to here from such a beautiful man.
"Could you ever love me, dearest one? "
Shivers run up my spine just from the memory of his deep voice whispering in my ear. There was no doubt in my mind of what my answer would be. I didn't even know when I had accepted his love and made it part of me. But there it was a current in the deepest part of my soul that told me he was the one, and it wasn't just carnal lust or a desire to end my loneliness, there was something profound in what I felt. A something I had never felt before.
Looking into his eyes there was suddenly no doubt in me that he was sincere. It was as though I could touch his soul and feel the warmth and love inside.
His fingers trailed over my skin oh-so-gently and I could feel what he felt, the culmination of his want, his need. He did not see something grotesque in my naked body, but a hidden beauty, a sensuality all others had failed to notice and a boundless reserve of love awaiting for one chance to spring forth. He loved this "me", the one beneath the flesh and the bones, the one that was so obvious to him that it's beauty permeated my body, as much as he loved that physical body. The beauty of the living being , the essence of me, that was what he loved.
After that I gave myself to him fully, our bodies mimicking the union our minds and hearts had already achieved.
There was pain when he took me, I had heard it could be so, but it didn't matter. I could feel the pleasure cursing through his veins as he rode me, that added to my own pleasure was almost too much for me.
Then it hit me, wave after wave of ecstasy , ever increasing in time with his rhythm. Our passionate moans filled the empty bath, amplified by the empty expanses. The echo of our passion driving us further and faster, until with a senses-shattering delight we achieved orgasm.
Wow! Did I just write that? Diary am so happy I'm turning into a poet. But I can't help it I feel so happy, it's like I'm in a dream and I don't ever want to wake up!
I wish I could have stayed in his arms forever, but he had guard duty so he had to leave me. I am missing him already.
His name is Markkan Sarant... my beloved Markkan!
14th of Decar 3055
The past month has been like a dream come true. Finally diary I have found in him what I had always searched for: a friend and a confident, and a devoted lover. When he asked me to marry him I had no hesitations. I knew it was the right thing.
Kay was a bit shocked to find out I had fallen in love with one of his men, after all I had always gone for the girls. Yet, man, woman, whatever it could be, I love him, and that is all that matters to me .
Tomorrow, he will perform the life-bond with me, as is the custom of his people, before all of the court. No longer will I be the lonely servant boy. I suppose the ones that made fun of me will be taught a lesson by my good fortune, but that is not important to me anymore.
All I care about, is having a long and healthy life with my beloved.
Truthfully I was a bit downhearted because I have always dreamed of having children, but I was willing to make that sacrifice for him. When I told him he laughed. He wasn't mocking me, he said, just amused at my naivet�.
In time, he explained,we shall seek a sacred mother. She is a priestess who grants the gift of parenthood to those she deems worthy. If we proove ourselves pure and loving of heart she will carry our children. apparently this custom has developed over the years to prevent the extintion of the Tharian race. From what I gather they mostly practice same sex bonds,and those who have achieved higher states no longer even care for physical pleasure.
But I don't care if we are approoved or not! I am so happy I could burst for joy!
Well, dear diary I think this is my last entry. You have been a good friend through all my years, but after tonight I won't have to console myself with your blank pages anymore. I have found someone to share my joys and my pains; so, I guess this is good-bye.
Your old friend Michiou Tarvis, soon to be Michiou Tarvis-Sarant.