I wanna order pizza, hold the pepperoni.
"And make that extra large"
"Alright will that be cash or charge?"
I waited for the guy for two hours straight.
When he finally came in and said, "sorry im late.
Ive been stuck in traffic for an hour and a quarter.
and in the mean-time i ate your order."
What? whats going on? i cant believe this guy.
so i took a fork and poked him in the eye.
Now i commited murder, i had to run away.
The only way out is out of the ?Chesepeake Bay.
So i got into my car and floored the pedal,
and listened to a radio station of heavy metal.
I got out of the driveway, backed out my car,
and i thought to myself, "man, the bay is far!"
So i went to a gas station, to refill up my gas,
When i relized that i got gas splurting out of my ass.
The whole atmosphere burst the station in flames,
A few people died, i dont want to mention any names.
I ran away as fast as i could,
and all the strangers were misunderstood
that i released gas inside a gas station,
If i kept on farting, i will rule the nation.
Suddenly i stopped running. I really had to pee.
But i couldnt do it in public because then everyone would see.
So i went to a corner of a CVS store,
When some bum was lying there, right on the floor.
I said, "i really need to urinate"
and the bum said, "thats illegal in 5 states".
I didnt give a shit, so i peed on the wall,
I signed my name, and that was all.
I remembered how i killed that man at the door,
So i decided to forget it. i entered the store.
I bought a bag of Cheetos and a couple of beers
(the same kind of beer i drank for new years).
I walked out of CVS, looking where to go,
I turned left, and ran into my old friend, Joe.
"Hey, Joe! its been a long time"
"I know what you just did...you commited a crime."
I screamed at him, and broke a beer bottle,
and plunged into his heart in full throttle.
Now i killed two people, what do i do?
The best answer for this is to go to the zoo.
I entered the zoo with a smile on my face,
so no one would try to follow my trace.
I decided there was no more purpose for me in life.
So i went to the zoo store to borrow a knife.
I ran far away with the knife in my hands,
my body was wet from all my sweat glands.
I took the knife, pointed it at my heart.
When i decided i should enjoy one last fart.
I blasted one out, so everyone could hear.
the elephants, the moose, even the deer.
Instead of the fart, out came some wet poop.
It was as big as an ice cream scoop.
Enough of this, i thought in my brain.
So i stuck the knife into my biggest vain.
I fell on the ground, the end of my life.
With nothing in my hands, but only a knife.