1. Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do orientals throw hamburgers?
2. Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
3. What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
4. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, to the other trees laugh?
5. Why do people go to Burger king and order a Double Whopper with a large french fries and insist on getting a Diet Coke?
6. When two airplanes almost collide, why do they call it a near miss? sounds like a near hit to me!
7. How do "keep off the grass" signs get where they are?
8. Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is illegal there?
9. Is there another word for "thesaurus"?
10. When I'm feeling down, i like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
11. If I won the lottery, I would not quit my job right away. I would just make my boss a living hell for a few weeks. THEN i would quit.
12. I believe 4/5 of us have trouble with fractions.
13. lotz of us dnt noe how 2 cpel.
14. 84% of us make up statistics right on the spot.
15. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
16. When everything's coming your way, you are in the wrong lane and going the wrong direction.
17. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
18. Whose bigger? Mr. Bigger, or Mr. Bigger's baby? the baby, of course! hes a little Bigger!
19. In reference to a girl giving head to a guy, why does "blow" and "suck" mean the same thing?