The
Hardest Thing
By Nicca Chick now Naughtee Nic ([email protected])
Disclaimer: The characters of Roswell belong to Jason Katims and Melinda Metz.
The song ‘The Hardest Thing’ is by 98º and can be found on their album
‘98º and
Rising’. Lyrics were found at Lyrics.com.
Author’s Note: As soon as I finished this story, it came on the radio! How
freaky...
***
He said it. Those words came from his mouth. Not the exact three words she
wanted to hear, but the same meaning stuck to them. ‘Maybe because I love you
too much’. But he was wrong. He had a destiny, they weren’t destined
We both know I shouldn’t be here
This is wrong
And baby it’s killing me, it’s killing you
Both of us tryin’ to be strong...
She seemed to be holding up well. He had been going round, checking up on her.
Not once had he seen her cry. She just continued her day-to-day life, like
nothing happened at all. But he knew she was hurting inside.
I’ve got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep
Someone else who loves me
And trusts me fast asleep...
Maria sniffed her oil. He walked away. He looked in her eyes and walked away
from her. He turned his back on love. She might’ve knocked down his stonewall,
but for sure it would be back up again with super-super-super glue this time.
She turned. He was at the window.
I’ve made up my mind
There is no turning back
She’s been good to me
And she deserves better than that...
She let him in. "Its over."
She
angrily stomped over to him. "How can it be over? You told me that you
loved
me!"
He shrugged. "It was a spur of the moment thing. We both said stuff we
didn’t
mean. Isabel and I are gonna do this whole destiny thing. We suit."
He was lying through his teeth. It was killing him. He was going to walk on out
of here and leave the woman he loved to believe he didn’t even care if she
existed.
It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do
To look you in the eye and tell you I don’t love you
It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry...
She was on the verge of tears. ‘Please don’t cry’, he thought.
"Oh, so that’s it, huh? It’s Isabel. You’re ‘destined’ mates and
suddenly over a
short span of a few days you’ve decided you’ve fallen out of love with me,
and
fallen in love with her?" All he could do was nod.
I can’t let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied
And my heart’s not free
We’re not meant to be
It’s the hardest thing I’ll have to do
To turn around and walk away, pretending I don’t love you...
"Oh, so I mean *nothing* to you, is that it?"
"No, Maria. Listen, we are not meant to be. Full stop." He moved to
leave. Maria
spun him around.
"That’s not good enough,"
"Well, since when do *I* care if something is not good enough for
you?"
He felt sick. Who knew he was this good a liar? Couldn’t she see through him?
Why did he have to pretend he didn’t love her when everything in his body
screamed unconditional love for her?
I know that we’ll meet again
Fate has a place and time
So you can get on with your life
I’ve got to be cruel to be kind...
"You are one sick Czechoslovakian, Michael."
He shrugged. This act was killing him. He felt like dying. Well, as soon as he
left this room, he probably would die. Die from heartbreak. ‘This is the best
thing all round. She can move on, and I can fulfill my stupid destiny’.
Like
Dr. Zhivago
All my love I’ll be sending
And you will never know
‘Cause there can be no happy ending...
<BR>
"So this is how it ends. You acting all macho and leaving your poor little
play
toy for the beautiful princess so you can go have a fairytale wedding on your
home planet while the play toy dies of heartbreak, all alone here on Earth. Gee,
never imagined *that* one.
"You knew there was never gonna be a happy ending. So why bother
pretending?"
‘Sheesh, these lies are coming out like a bat out of hell. Which is probably
where I’m going after I’m done with this’.
It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do
To look you in the eye and tell you I don’t love you
It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to lie
To show no emotion when you start to cry...
She was starting to cry.
‘Why is this so hard? Why can’t I just be a cold heartless bastard and a
stonewall?’ He began to climb out the window.
‘Don’t turn around.’
A
small hand on his shoulder stopped him. He turned. "Just look into my eyes
and
tell me you don’t love me."
He
looked into her eyes. He summoned all the energy and will in his body. It was
take a miracle to get out of this one. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth.
I can’t let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied
And my heart’s not free
We’re not meant to be
It’s the hardest thing I’ll have to do
To turn around and walk away, pretending I don’t love you...
"I don’t."
And with that, he jumped out of the window, shattering two hearts in the
process.
"Some day, Maria, some day," he whispered and he was gone.
The End