| Things you can do with very little See what's in your neighbor's trash: (Amusement Potential: 20-30 minutes) You can learn a lot about people by what they throw out. You might uncover some dark secret about them. Plus, they might be throwing out something with value that still works, like a VCR. Watch TV, repeat everything said in Italian accent: (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) Sort of entertaining. Fun to pretend the people on the screen are actually talking that way. Call up people who write editorials you disagree with: (Amusement Potential: 15-60 minutes) I'm surprised no one has thought of this before. Unleash your fury on the person who had the nerve to write a letter like that! I'm pretty sure it doesn't qualify as a prank phone call, too. Make prank phone calls: (Amusement Potential: 20-60 minutes) Very entertaining, but requires discipline. Remember - vulgarities don't make a call funny, but getting the other person to believe a ridiculous story will. Even more fun if you get a bunch of people on the line using a Wonderphone and take turns making the calls. One to get you started off: Call McDonald's, try to make reservations. Pretend all humans will die except for people in the room with you: (Amusement Potential: 10-20 minutes) What would you do if this really happened? Would the group stay together, or would there be factions? Who would join what group? Remember, there would only be power for a few days before the plants ran out of fuel or broke. To travel, you would always have to be near cars to siphon gas out of. Best to do with people you know. Step off a curb with eyes shut, imagine it's a cliff: (Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) To get any benefit out of this one, you have to have a good imagination. Don't step off immediately, build up to the jump. Study the ravine below. Feel the winds at that altitude. Step off and... AHHHHHH!!!!! Burn things with a magnifying glass: (Amusement Potential: 5-30 minutes) Ants are always fun to use for this, but burning the face of someone you don't like, under some circumstances, can be just as entertaining. |
| Cards You'll Never See On Hallmark.. "Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder:... What was I thinking?" "Congratulations on your wedding day!.... Too bad no one likes your wife." "How could two people as beautiful as you.... have such an ugly baby?" "I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.... After having met you, I've changed my mind." "I must admit, you brought Religion in my life.... I never believed in Hell until I met you." "As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am.... that you're not here to ruin it for me." "As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like the need for therapy..." "Thanks for being a part of my life!!!.... I never knew what evil was before this!" "Before you go,.... I would like you to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again." "Someday I hope to get married.... but not to you." "You look great for your age.... Almost Lifelike!" "When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.... Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise." "I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend.... So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys." "We have been friends for a very long time.... What do you say we call it quits?" "I'm so miserable without you.... It's almost like you're here." "Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.... Did you ever find out who the father was?" "You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often." "Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday.... So we're having you put to sleep." "Your kisses are sweet, your hugs are passionate.... But compared to your sister, they're only second rate." |
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