Notes: I am sorry for not updating in a while. I have had to rewrite this a numerous amount of times, and to tell you the truth life isn’t going so well right now. I’ve had writers’ block, among many other things. My computer is being horrid to me, and the stress I’ve been going through isn’t making things much better.

This chapter is written on Braska’s point of view.

Chapter 12

Braska’s thoughts

Here we finally enter Guadosalam. A small city, though a peaceful and beautiful one at that. The beauty here is more simple not so abstract and magnificent as Bevelle and Luca. I enjoy smaller towns as they give me more comfort and aren’t so crowded. I hope that the Guado will be kind to us, especially to Rikku. I worry about her, for being Al Bhed. She has gone through so many hardships since we began the pilgrimage.

Ever since I first met her, when she first woke up and spoke to me I could see the hardships in her eyes. I knew she wouldn’t tell me her reasons of being here except the fact she wanted to be a guardian for me. While I didn’t think of her as much of a threat, I didn’t want to trust her too quickly. I mean I have nothing against the Al Bhed but I have heard them trying to stop pilgrimages and such.

Though, there was something there that I felt like needed protected. When she came down the stairs in that gown my wife had once worn it brought up memories of her. Its not like I tried to repress the memories, I just haven’t thought about it much. I feel bad about that though, as I should think of my wife more. I loved her very much and I gave up so many things for her. I do not regret it for a second.

I see Auron, how he has changed since she joined us. Not just Rikku but Jecht as well. While Auron is still stern and at times emotionless, he has changed. He shows love, he shows me that he can love. I thought he could never feel that kind of emotion, I mean he never has before.

During our trip so far, I have realized that Auron is indeed a human. Auron does not usually open up to anyone, but he has opened up greatly to me. Even though he has shown his softer side to Rikku, and Jecht in a way as well he never was able to hide his true self through that thick wall around his emotions. What had amazed me most of all though, was when he told me he loved Rikku. All his emotional barriers seemed to be down at that moment, and I was able to see the real Auron. His face was so serene, so beautiful.

I have to admit that I love Auron. He was always there after my wife died. He was there before then, and in between. Even though I am happy for the man I sometimes feel jealous because of Rikku. When he had broken his engagement with the high priest’s daughter, I had been happy. I was not particularly happy of what happened to his respect from everyone but I was happy he could think for himself.

Being with him is enough though. I sometimes will feel his embrace, and it makes me feel like nothing could ever happen to me. I’m sure he is aware about how much I care for him. I love him, almost as much as I loved my wife. However the love is different in a way, I do not wish to be lovers with him, but it is more than a platonic love.

I never want to hurt Auron. I know I will though, when I summon the final aeon I will leave him. I will not be away from him forever but I will not be able to be in his company. I’ll always watch over you Auron, always. And then there’s Jecht.

Jecht is an interesting man. I enjoy his company very much. His uncontrolled anger sometimes causes trouble, but he is fun to be around with. He has kept his promise in protecting me as well. I was worried at first that he would run away and do what he pleased. He decided to stay and it made me proud. This man from Zanarkand has seen some hardships as well. Once when drunk he opened up a little and admitted he felt bad sometimes for what he did to his son. He only wanted to care for him, but probably ended making the boy hate him. I feel horrible for him.

I do not love Jecht like I do Auron, but I care for him. We have become good friends so far, and he has been there. When Auron isn’t around to me, Jecht is there trying to cheer me up. We have spent a lot of time together doing many things. He a best friend to me. He isn’t any better of a friend than Auron, but I am able to do things with Jecht that Auron would never agree to.

One of Jyscal’s messengers was sent to find us. He takes us to Jyscal’s home, where Jyscal himself is there waiting. He greets us happily and gives us a good meal to eat. Seymour is there as well, and I see Rikku acting nervous around the boy. Maybe she knows something I don’t, but I will soon find out I guess. Afterwards, I ask of Lord Jyscal to take us to the Farplane.

The only one who does not enter the Farplane is Rikku. She gives us her reasons, which I respect though I worry. Ever since Macalania I have not wanted the girl to leave my sight. I doubt Auron does either. In fact, he is the one to go back to her first. Inside I see my wife, standing there happily. Jecht is amazed by this place, and is truly happy that neither his wife or son is there. I am the last one to leave, as I do not want to leave my wife. In a few minutes though, I say my good-byes and leave.

Tonight we are in separate rooms. As I lay in bed I hear a door open, and then shut. I wonder if it is Auron, checking up on Rikku. Maybe tomorrow morning I will wake and find out he has slept in her room. I smile at his happiness and then go to sleep.

The next day, we use to get new supplies and restock on the ones we need. All of us go to lunch at a café near the armory. Of course during lunch Jecht makes a comment about Auron and Rikku and Auron gets mad. Rikku and I laugh, then break up the argument before it gets violent. After lunch is over, Auron asks me if he and Rikku can go shop around together. I do not see why not, and they go on. Here I am, with Jecht again only wondering what he will decide to do.

Here I am, a few hours later in a bar. I sigh, its not that I dislike bars. I just would rather go to other places. After Bevelle I decide not to drink very much especially since we are to head out to Moonflow in the morning. Jecht just drinks and drinks, more than usual. Maybe it was going to the Farplane had upset him I do not know though. I figure enough is enough and help him stumble back into his room. When falling onto his bed, he grabs on to me and I fall as well. ‘Great’ I thought. I pry myself off of his smelly body and go into one of the tea rooms. Rikku and Auron are there sitting next to the fire. I tell them of what happened and they laugh.

End notes: I know, a short chapter. It may sound rushed too. I’m sorry. I just don’t want to write about Guadosalam, as it wasn’t a particular interesting part of the game. Moonflow will be much better though! hehehehehe…*I like the shoopufs!*