November 30, 2005
teenaged rhapsody: herein lies my full confession
His is a rare character, one that is scarce in this world even in the midst of dire need for more such personalities. He possesses the admirable ability of making all of those with whom he speaks feel as if they each hold a special place in his heart. He withholds his kind courtesy from no one and is freely generous in his amiable persiflage. He is intelligent and personable. Is it any wonder, then, that I love him?
I like to pretend that those trivial occurrences that pass between us out of courtesy and good humor contain more significance than they truly do. But please allow me this one indulgence, and I'll continue to be the crazy but innocuous shadow in the back corner.
I've finished my first scarf! It has a few mistakes so I can't give it to anyone, but I'm hoping it was good practice for a perfect scarf next time. I considered making scarves for family members, but I have the sneaking suspicion that they will all end up deep in a drawer somewhere, tucked away neatly from the light of day for all eternity. Same thing with friends. So instead I shall make scarves for myself and upon request, at least until knitting comes more automatically to me.
I need a prom date. Hook me up? ;-)
Keestal
November 26, 2005
no one ever really knows
I neglected to post a list of the things I am thankful for. So here goes. In no particular order, I am truly thankful for:
+ God
+ family, friends, food
+ awesome teachers
+ Harry Potter
+ time
+ senior year
+ original sheet music ^-^
+ knitting
+ school holidays
+ music theory
+ love-turkeys
+ piano
+ violin
+ health
+ little kids
+ digital cameras
+ paper stars
+ grandparents
+ love
+ silly infatuations
+ yellow paper
+ knowledge
+ calculus
+ music
+ kindness
+ diamond earrings
+ surprises
+ bad days (how can you cherish good days without experiencing bad ones?)
+ Thanksgiving
I wish I had the courage to be friendly. He won't bite. But oh, how I <3 friends.
KeestalNovember 16, 2005
how i love being a speck of dust
We locked eyes once, from a terribly close distance. In that instant--can I remember whether it was an instant or an eternity?--I felt exposed and vulnerable, as if all my flaws and hopes and triumphs were laid bare for you to embrace or attack. You did neither. For you, I suppose, it was just another incidental moment of eye contact with a stranger.
It's with a somewhat murky conscience that I express my gratitude for a day gone well. Other people have not had a quietly sweet or productive or contemplative day--they've been fired from their jobs or lost their loved ones. I'm sorry.
Uneventful days are certainly preferable to tragic life-altering days, and today was an uneventful day. But I think it was exciting. I'd like more days like today.
One of my heart's desires is coming true this weekend! My friends and I are going to the local art museum. Hey, it doesn't have to be the Louvre for me to enjoy it. But some day...
Also, we are Harry Pottering it up this Friday. After knitting, but of course! I can't wait to take in the gorgeous scenery for the Yule Ball. And then we have our movie night scheduled Saturday evening. Hectic weekend! Oh, yeah. Well, then, this is me signing off and scrambling to do my homework so I can blow it off completely in the next few days.
KeestalNovember 12, 2005
my hopes and dreams are your nightmares
The winter holidays approach. And first semester is quickly nearing its end--but it seems like only last month we were all orienting ourselves with our new classes. What a melancholy thought! My last year of high school is speeding away, leaving me in its dusty wake.
But anyway, the winter holidays approach. Usually I can't think of anything in particular to give thanks for other than the generic family, food and luxuries. But this year I am thankful for many specific things, which I must contemplate between now and Thanksgiving.
Oh, man, I'm having such a heinous time of it in music theory. I wish I were not so retarded. ^-^ Actually, all my grades are appallingly low, but I stopped caring when I moved. It would be nice to do well in the one subject I was looking forward to since summer break, though. <3.
Hi. Take me on a long, long car ride. And don't be offended when I don't speak a word to you the entire time. I'm simply doing what I like to do most.
Keestal
November 6, 2005
a little bit of Brahms in survey form [ ] I am bisexual or homosexual.
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[ ] I listen to political music.
[ ] I have collected comic books.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[x] I watch the news.
[x] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[ ] I own an iPod or MP3.
[ ] I curse regularly.
[ ] I paid for that cell phone ring.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[x] I love Spam.
[ ] I bake well.
[ ] I would wear pajamas to school.
[ ] I have a job.
[ ] I love Martha Stewart.
[ ] I am guilty oF tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I am sometimes self conscious.
[x] I like to laugh.
[ ] I smoke a pack a day.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[x] I can't swallow pills.
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
[ ] I eat fast food weekly.
[x] I have many scars.
[ ] I've been out of this country.
[x] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I've seen a therapist.
[x] I love chocolate.
[x] I sometimes bite my nails.
[x] I play video games
[x] I watch cartoons.
[x] Gotten lost in my city.
[x] Saw a shooting star
[ ] Been to any other countries besides the United States
[ ] I had a serious surgery
[x] Gone out in public in your pajamas
[x] I have kissed a stranger
[x] Hugged a stranger
[ ] Been in a fist fight
[ ] Been arrested
[ ] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[ ] Made out in an elevator
[ ] Swore at your parents
[ ] Kicked a guy where it hurts.
[ ] Been to a casino
[ ] Been skydiving
[ ] Broken a bone
[ ] Skipped school
[ ] Played spin the bottle
[ ] Gotten stitches
[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
[x] Bitten somebody
[x] Been to Niagara Falls
[x] Gotten the chicken pox
[ ]Crashed into a friend's car
[ ] Been to Japan.
[ ] Ridden in a taxi
[ ] Shoplifted
[ ] Been fired
[ ] Ever had a crush on someone of the same sex
[x] Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
[ ] Stole something from your job
[ ] Gone on a blind date
[x] Lied to a friend
[x] Had a crush on a teacher // Oh, boy.
[ ] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans
[ ] Been married
[ ] Gotten divorced
[ ] Saw someone die
[ ] Been to Africa
[ ] Driven over 400 miles in one day
[ ] Been to Canada
[ ] Been to Mexico
[x] Been on a plane
[ ] Thrown up in a bar
[ ] Eaten sushi
[ ] Been snowboarding
[ ] Been skiing
[ ] Been to a motor cross show
[x] Lost a child
[ ] Gone to college
[ ] Graduated college
[ ] Done hard drugs
[ ] Had someone cheat on you
[x] Miss someone right now
[ ] Slept with a co-worker
[ ] Purposely set a part of myself on fire
[x] Purposely hurt myself
[ ] Been in an abusive relationship
[x] Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
[x] Made a snow angel // in packing peanuts XD
[x] Had a tea party
[x] Flown a kite
[x] Built a sand castle
[x] Gone puddle jumping
[x] Played dress up
[x] Jumped into a pile of leaves
[ ] Gone sledding
[x] Cheated while playing a game
[x] Been lonely
[x] Fallen asleep at work/school
[x] Watched the sun set
[ ] Felt an earthquake
[x] Touched a snake
[x] Slept beneath the stars
[x] Been tickled
[x] Been misunderstood
[x] Won a contest
[x] Ran a red light
[ ] Been suspended from school
[ ] Been in a car accident
[x] Had braces
[x] Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
[x] Had deja vu
[x] Kissed someone in the pouring rain
[x] Hated the way you look
[x] Pole danced
[x] Questioned your heart // In the process =(
[ ] Been obsessed with post-it notes
[ ] Squished barefoot through the mud
[x] Been lost
[ ] Been to the opposite side of the country
[x] Swam in the ocean
[x] Felt like dying
[x] Cried yourself to sleep
[ ] Played cops and robbers
[x] Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
[x] Sang karaoke
[ ] Paid for a meal with only coins
[x] Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
[x] Made prank phone calls
[x] Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
[x] Caught a snowflake on your tongue
[x] Danced in the rain
[x] Written a letter to Santa Claus
[x] Blown bubbles
[ ] Made a bonfire on the beach
[ ] Crashed a party
[x] Gone rollerskating
[x] Had a wish come true
[x] Worn pearls
[ ] Jumped off a bridge
[ ] Screamed penis in public
[ ] Screamed vagina in public
[ ] Ate dog/cat food
[ ] Told a complete stranger you loved them
[x] Kissed a mirror
[x] Sang in the shower
[x] Had a dream that you married someone
[ ] Glued your hand to something
[ ] Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
[ ] Kissed a fish
[ ] Worn the opposite sexes clothes
[ ] Sat on a roof top
[x] Screamed at the top of your lungs
[x] Done a one-handed cartwheel
[ ]Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
[x] Stayed up all night
[ ] Didn't take a shower for a week.
[x] Climbed a tree
[ ] Had a tree house
[x] Are scared to watch scary movies by yourself
[ ] Worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
[x] Played chicken
[ ] Pushed into a pool/lake with all your clothes on
[x] Been told you're beautiful by a complete stranger
[x] Been easily amused
[x] Caught a fish then ate it
[ ] Caught a butterfly
[x] Laughed so hard you cried
[x] Cried so hard you laughed
[ ] Had someone moon/flash you
[x] Cheated on a test
[x] Had a Britney Spears CD
[x] Forgotten someone's name
[ ] French braided someone's hair
Keestal
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