~ 12/02/2002 ~
i'm dying
and this mashine inside
pumping horrible thoughts
0f love and longing into my waves
of emotional instability
i'm screaming
but it's only heard on the inside
my face stays motionless
on purpose
to create imposterous curiosity
among the herd of creatures
created without care
clumsily coming out of the womb
and falling flat down on their assumptions.
words
~ end of February 2002 ~
the simple word
is falling down
it can't be stopped
tonight
the police are already on their way
my heart called them
cuz in the icy corner i sit
with my back against the heat
breathing it in and swallowing it half
i can't escape it
it has already manifested itself
in my soul
so it longs for its freedom
yet i cannot let it go
i'm clinging and choking it
until it breathes me in
and swallows me whole.
so long everything
~ 30/03/2002 ~
my mouth is covered in sand
and my inner core is bleeding
from heartache
yet i have to stride on
and extinguish the longing
with which i am burdened
so long freedom of speech
so long humanity
cuz i'm on death row.
sweet narcotics
~ 15/04/2002 ~
can't fight this feeling
it's burning my nerves
they might snap
and leave me openly wounded
to be consumed by that crying vulture
flying around my secret thought
sweet narcotics swallowed uner
her breath
which is subdued in all her hate
hate which forms it's own secret society
and gets caught in the mingling
of two souls
who are just trying to survive
the endless battle of the unimagenable.