I am the 3rd generation of single moms in my family. My grandmother divorced when my mom and uncles were young, and then my mom and dad divorced when I was a baby. I myself am raising my two sons without the assistance of their fathers.
My thought here though, is I have to wonder why it is, that moms in general are always so criticized? I mean, my oldest son, 12, fell out of a tree last week and broke his leg. and somewhere, there is a person still wondering, "Wasn't she watching?" and yet, that same person would tell you how wonderful it is that his father still calls him. What happened to the standards of parenting that mothers must be perfect, and if Dad contributes even the slightest bit past the actual conception, it's all good, and isn't he "wonder dad"??? This concept never fails to amaze me. I just read a letter to the editor in my local paper. I was compelled to respond because this man was making reference to parents recieving aid from governmental agencies, and how that was child abuse that they had more children than they could afford in the first place.... WHAT? If she can't afford to feed and clothe her child, I can almost guarentee you that she didn't use a fertility clinic to get pregnant, which means, IT WASN'T JUST HER INVOLVED. I think the one major thing these people don't get, is that if the dead-beat parent, (Yes, there are dead beat moms too) paid their child support, these parents wouldn't qualify for assistance through the government!!! Instead, they have to turn to that same government for assistance in getting child support... and it seems like the majority of the time, years later, they are still getting no child support. I know that in my particular case, one dad is no where to be found, and the other gets away with murder because he lives in Texas, where getting chid support literally becomes an act of Congress. (I'll save that one for another rant). My local county District Attorney office is literally helpless to force Texas to increase my ex's support, so he's paid 50$ a month for YEARS.
But I still will catch critical comments from those that have no idea what it is like to have two children totally dependant on you, and only you, to get their needs met.
Unfortunatly for the those that are idiotic enough to confront me directly, or make snide comments while I'm standing there, I have a no tolerance policy for bullshit. There have been more men behind me in line at the grocery store who now regret their commentary, than I have fingers for. Unfortunatly, most of those moms, the ones you see that are just utterly exhausted and no longer have the energy to worry about making sure their kids do the now excessive amounts of homework required in school, (Hello judgemental teachers!!) or the ones who are standing in line at McDonald's, because well frankly, you CAN reach a point where you actually cannot taste food because you are so tired, and their kids are snipping and snarling and everyone around is wishing Mom would get a grip on those kids!!! well, those moms no longer have the energy to tell people to get screwed. They are battling simply to keep going.. .... I just wish people would give credit where credit is due... to those moms who do the job of two parents, pay all the bills, and still go to work, or school, and raise kids that they HOPE will be better than the deadbeat parent that helped bring them here. It's time for the other half to be held responsible... Oh.. on that note, for the guys out there that love to swear, "She tricked me!!" NEWSFLASH... They are called CONDOMS, and guess what??? They work pretty well. So quit whinin that you weren't willing to be responsible for your OWN protection, and step up to the plate.
