testimony

My name is Roxanna. I am a thirty-four year old lady, and a single mother of two. I want to share a little bit of my life story with you. I grew up an only child. I had a half brother that lived with his grandpa. My mother had been pregnant and lost two other children. So there was only me.
God has had his hand on me for a very long time. We lived down this long dirt road, until I was fourteen years old. This one time when I was two years old my mother was going to go to the store. She was going to make me stay with my grandmother while she went. I wanted to go so bad, because I knew that she would buy my candy if I were with her. So I ran off toward the store. There was no way I could have made it to the store. It was several miles off, when I remembered that there were these two big dogs up the road. I stopped where I was. I was about half way between the store and home. I remember I just stood there. I didn�t move; I don�t know why. I think I was maybe waiting for my mother to come by. Car after car passed by. There was no sign of her. Then this car stopped. There was a car full of people it was a man, a woman and three or four kids. They ask me if I was lost. I told them �no� that I wasn�t. They ask me if I knew how to get to where I lived at and I told them that I did. So I then got into their car. I then proceeded to tell them how to get to my home and they took me home. My mother had parked her car behind the house and had no left for the store like I though she had, but I was only two. I thank the good Lord that he was watching over me that day.
As I grew older I became more rebellious. My father had become a minister, which meant that I was a preacher�s daughter. One day my dad came home and told me that I was going to learn to play the piano. I wanted to play the piano about like I needed another hole in my head. No, I decided that I wasn�t going to learn. I was around ten years old and I didn�t have much say over it. Yep, you guessed it right. Dad won. My parents actually enjoyed setting and listening to me practice. (What an awful noise, but they seemed to really enjoy it.) So I decided to play along and pretend to start liking it. Then before I realized it I was actually having a blast, and really enjoying what I was doing.
I remember the first time I ever touched alcohol. My brother talked my dad into letting me come and stay with him and his wife for two weeks. They needed someone to watch the children for some reason. So the Friday night before I was supposed to come home my brother brought beer home with him when he came in from work. He dared me and said that I wouldn�t drink it. Well four beers and several hours later I was so sick I couldn�t stand myself. You would have thought that I would have stopped there. Needless to say, I didn�t. Things became much worse. I started hanging out with the wrong crowd. (The cool kids)
By the time I was six-teen I was unstoppable. (Or so I thought) I got my license now I really was somebody. I could come and go when I pleased, or so I thought. I had quit school. Thought that an education was for the birds and that I would never need it anyways. Boy, was I wrong. My parents talked me into going back to night school at the high school. Everything went good there for a while until I started talking to and old friend of mine that I hadn�t seen in a while.
One night when I was suppose to be at night school, my mother called out there to get me to bring a loaf of bread home. Can you imagine the look on her face when they told her that I wasn�t there? I came home at the time that I normally would have. Then the big question came up. Where were you at tonight? I gave the wrong answer. I said, �I was at school.� Well, needless to say you know that things didn�t go very well that night. I ended up being grounded for two weeks from my car. After the two weeks was up, and my taxes came back I got my car put in my name. Then one night after everyone went to bed I packed my clothes and left. I ended up at these peoples house that partied all the time.
The landlord was cool with me being there until he found out that I was only sis-teen. He then told me I would have to leave. I then packed up my car and headed for my brother�s in Georgia. I had been there a few days looking for work. While driving down the road toward a curve my car began to make the worst noise and I couldn�t steer it. I came within inches of hitting the house that was in the curve. I called my brother, but what I didn�t know is that he had called dad. My brother had my car towed to his house, and brought me back there also. About three o�clock in the morning the banging on the door woke me up. There stood my mother and father. Oh Boy, this wasn�t good.
I found out later on that my dad had been praying for God to stop me no matter where I was. I also found out that my two front tires had tread showing on both of them and they could have blown out at any time. You would think that after all that I would have straightened up. I didn�t, things just got worse.
To make a long story short I was only drinking, then I started experimenting with other things. There has been so many times that I have driven home and the only way that I could have gotten there was through the grace of God. There is no possible way me by myself could have made it. I was out there looking for something and just couldn�t get my hands on it. It was just out of arms reach.
By the time I found out that I was pregnant, thanks to the Lord, I had quit all the drugs and only drank occasionally. So when I found out that I was going to have a child I gave it up completely. As my pregnancy progressed I started having complications. The doctor put me on bed rest. I was only five months along when I first went into labor. After spending a day at the hospital I was sent home to bed. They gave me a pill that I was supposed to take every morning to keep me from going into labor again. About this time my husband (now X) decides that he is going to start partying again. Things went well up until I was at the seven month mark. The he starts complaining about the house not being clean, about anything and everything a man can complain about to make a pregnant woman feel really good.
I start having labor pains again. I spend the whole Saturday in the hospital. They send me home that night and I am getting ready for bed and my water bursts. So back off to the hospital I go. This time however, they are not going to let me go back home. They are going to send me to Forsyth Hospital in Winston-Salem. There is no room at Baptist; therefore, Forsyth is right there at it and if the baby makes it he can be sent to Baptist if need be. They had done an ultrasound and the baby is a boy but he is not going to weigh but three pounds. So off we go to Forsyth.
They get me over there in a room and I go into labor and they let me have him. Ultrasounds don�t know it all. My son weighed five pounds and one ounce. He was a beautiful baby. I told God then if he would let my baby live that I would quit smoking. But it took me nine years to finally quit.
His body temperature starts dropping and they had to put him in an incubator. He would not eat, so he started loosing weigh. He then developed yellow-jaundice. Forsyth will not move him to the hospital closer until he starts to eat. Then finally the first thing this baby takes into his body is water. He is now moved to Catawba Memorial here in Hickory. Ten day later I get to bring him home.
I really have to say that God was looking out for me through all this. I didn�t find out until after this was all over, but they were going to make me lie there in that bed until I went into labor. That could have been two months. They said that if I would have got up and moved around it could have killed my baby. He was a sickly child. Him and I were in the doctor�s office at least ever other week. He had to be hospitalized again right after he was a year old. His lungs weren�t strong enough. He ended up with pneumonia. Today he is almost twelve and healthy as an ox.
I went back for my post-partum check-up only to find out that I was pregnant again. This time my pregnancy went smooth. The doctor still had me on bed rest because my body hadn�t healed up all the way. This time it wasn�t as bad as the time before though. My mother would come and sit with me some days and we would play with the baby. Then I find out that my husband has another woman on the side. I confront him. He promises to stop seeing her. Did he? I don�t know. He is married to her today.
This time I am only three weeks early when I go into labor. I have another beautiful boy that weighs six pounds three ounces. He gets to come home with me when I leave the hospital. Today he is ten and also healthy. God really blessed me here.
I found out that I had cancer. My doctor then sent me to a specialist. He immediately wanted to do a hysterectomy. I would not go along with the decision. The doctor thought that I was nuts. I was going against his wishes. I did consent to a cone. After having the surgery when the results came back there was no cancer. They didn�t understand that one.
I lost my mother almost four years ago. She was very dear to me. I still miss her very much and so do my children. I believe with all my heart that she made it to Heaven. It is very hard losing a parent. I also know that she is better off. Mom had a lot of health problems and she was sick quit a lot. I miss her dearly but I know that one day I will see her again.
I was in a situation that I had no control over. I was in a relationship that only through God did my children and I make it out alive. He was very controlling. I had no thoughts, I made no decisions, I was told how high to jump and expected to do it. It was only through God�s love and grace that I got out.
I could sit here for several days and still be telling you about things that God has done for my family and myself. God is so good. He amazes me. People say that God don�t do miracles anymore. They are wrong. Are you breathing? Did you wake up this morning? These are miracles in themselves. Don�t tell me God don�t work miracles, because I won�t believe you.
It is amazing us as humans think that we always know the best way to do things. We jump into things without thinking them through a lot of the time. I know that I have done a lot of things that I am ashamed of, but I cannot go back and change them. No matter what, they will always be a part of my past. That�s just it; it�s a part of my past. They�re in the past. That is where they are going to stay. When I ask Jesus to come into my life as my personal savior all of my sins were washed away. They were gone, as far as the east is from the west. Do I still make mistakes? Yes, I do. We all do. But Christ is there to help us and to forgive us if we ask.
I want to thank God for the friends and family that he has gave to me. Things aren�t perfect and they won�t be until I make it to Heaven. I especially want to thank him for the special male friend that he has put in my life. He has helped me more than he will ever know. Also for my special friends who are women I thank God for you too. You know who you are.