Season Premiere 1:
The Casting
Screen Written by
(The Screen Writers Trenton,
Shawn, Randy, Liz, and Andy including the Director Mr. K are standing around a
circular table.)
Director: Well after a long and arduous process of interviews and auditions we have finally narrowed down the list of possible
candidates to five.
Screenwriters: Yeah!!!!!!
Director: The list is now down to Molly Shannon, Kristy Swanson,
Hudson Leike, Milla Jovovich, and Shawn William Scott.
Screenwriters: Yeah!!!!!!
Director:
Now will one of
you go and tell Ms. Shannon?
(Screenwriter
#3 exits)
(Screenwriter #3 enters
accompanied by Ms. Shannon)
Director: So Ms. Shannon which parts will you be trying out for
today.
Director: Very well, now I would like to se
how well you improve these certain situations. I will
describe the situation and you give me a one-liner that best fits. Ok. You’re sneaking around the local public official’s office
when you spot on his desk an open copy of a rare occultism book. At the same time the mayor walks in spies you snooping around and
promptly turns into a vampire. You grab the nearest object, which is a pencil,
and are ready to drive it into his heart.
Director: Great!!! Next!
(
Screenwriter #2: That would be Ms. Swanson.
Director: Ahh. Ms. Swanson
and what parts are you going to audition for?
Swanson: Ruby, the Beginner Witch and Glen, the Former Vampire
Groupie
Director: All right. I am going to give you a
situation in which you are in and you will give me a one-liner that goes along
with the situation. You are in the food court of the mall and across
from you your girl friend is looking at you maybe a
little too intently on you. She suddenly exclaims, “I’ve got it!”
Swanson: Umm, you don’t
Director: Brilliant! We will
be in touch. Next!
(Swanson exits. Ms. Leike enters)
Director: Ms. Leike, which parts are you going for?
Leike: Tristy,
the Psychic and Ruby, the Beginner Witch.
Director: I
am going to give you a scenario you must respond with a one-liner to the situation.
You are in a fashionable clothing store trying on bathing suits when you
realize you must have gained five or more pounds.
Leike: Mind over matter,
mind over matter, mind over matter.
Director: Excellent! Please
send in the next applicant.
(Leike exits.
Milla Jovovich enters)
Director: Welcome Ms. Jovovich.
I would like to know what you are applying for.
Jovovich: I am applying for Hope the
Slayer, Glen, the Former Vampire Groupie, ruby, the Beginner Witch, and Tristy, the Psychic.
Director: Several choices to choose from. Well to find out which one is best for you I will present
you with a scene with which you are going to come up with a quick one liner to respond with.
Jovovich: No sweat.
Director: Good, You are in the
clothing store trying on clothes when one of the store attendants passes by and
sticks up her nose at your less than popular dress style.
Jovavich: I’m
sorry but some of us don’t go for the Betty home maker stuck up soccer mom
look.
Director: Outstanding. Send
in the last candidate.
(Jovovich exits. Shawn William
Scott enters)
Director: Time for our last one of the day.
Screenwriters: Yeah!!!!
Director: Welcome Mr. Scott I will be
describing to you a situation in which you need to give me a one-line comeback
for. Ok. Good. You have just taken severe wounds while in a struggle against a
more powerful than usual vampire. He has you pinned
and you have just a few seconds left to live.
Scott: Bite Me!!!
Director: Brilliant!!! We’ll
be in touch!
(Scott leaves)
Director: Well ladies and gentlemen you
have seen our candidates and now must decide which ones you think are best for
each part, you must now vote.
(Screenwriters write down on
pieces of paper handing them to the Director, he then tallies up the votes, and
then clearing his throat.)
Director: we have come to a conclusion.
(See cast page for final results.)