Virgin Summer: Of Chastity Belts And Pink Tutus!

 

by KatiKat

 

 

So, after explaining the secrets of gay sex to my homosexual but still virgin best friend, I decided it was time to go shopping. And thus I dragged the rather reluctant Duo to a drug store. Of course, hearing about what I had in mind, my twin brother decided to trail along too muttering something along the lines of "*This* I need to see."

 

Let's just say that I was thrilled beyond belief having him snicker in the background all the time whilst I discussed the merits of water-based lube in comparison to the oil-based one with the guy behind the counter. The young punk with his pierced nose seemed rather excited about the possibility of an in-depth discussion about this subject - to my brother´s never ending amusement, of course.

 

In the end - after thinking long and hard, since for some odd reason that stayed a mystery to me, Duo decided not to participate in our discussion - I purchased two multipacks of condoms (one cherry flavored, the other one in neon colors) and two tubes of strawberry flavored lube for Duo.

 

What I found weird though was the fact that when I turned around, Duo was blushing like a... well, like a virgin. My brother, however, had this highly amused grin on his face and the whole drug store was looking at me as if I had grown a second head. I glared at them and snapped a short "What?!" after which all of them looked more than eager to get out of my way.

 

At this point Odin started to laugh out loud, holding his stomach as if he was ready to puke any moment. I glared at him even more fiercely, but that just put him in another round of helpless giggles. My brother, my twin - by the way, did I mention that we were identical twins? - was enjoying himself way too much. I didn´t see anything funny in asking the salesperson for information about the products they had on store. That was their job after all.

 

So, gripping Duo´s elbow with my left hand and carrying the bag with my purchase in the other we walked out of the store, leaving the still giggling Odin behind. Duo looked more than happy to leave but even now, I don´t understand why. I thought he liked to shop there. Boggles the mind.

 

*-*-*-*-*-*

 

Sex Ed off the table, it was time for another step in Duo´s hunt for Mr. Right now. The correct set of clothes. I freely admit that I lack experience in this department since all I wear are black jeans or black cut-offs and a green tank top. That meant I needed reinforcement. And there was only one person I could call to help in the face of such adversity - Relena.

 

Relena Peacecraft is... well, she was my girlfriend Nr. 23 and 1/2 to 27 and 3/4 - at least that´s what Duo is calling her. We had been together off and on for the last one and half years until she finally decided to dump me. I always thought she wasn´t completely all right in her head - her boobs were okay, though - but her reasons for breaking up with me were completely ridiculous. I mean, she said that I was too involved with Duo. That all I could think or talk about was him. And me mentioning his name whilst being in bed with her was the straw that broke the camel´s back. What a piece of crap. Do I look like I´m obsessed with Duo?

 

On the other hand, we remained good friends and I must grudgingly admit that she has style - even though the whole pink stuff makes my teeth ache. And so one rainy afternoon I invited her to Duo´s house. In her own style she made herself completely at home and comfortable, dragging Duo to his room and raiding his wardrobe whilst ordering me to "sit tight" in the living room. Psst, don´t tell anybody but woman or not, I always listen to her orders - she is scary, you know?

 

I snickered hearing Duo´s shouts of protest as she started to pull the clothes off his body probably letting him stand there only in his underwear whilst walking around him in circles with a pondering look on her face. I bet even Duo´s freckles were blushing. Poor boy, but it was necessary. Dressed all in black and looking like the owner of a funeral home was no way to catch the eye of Mr. Right - at least that´s what Relena said. I found Duo´s art of dressing perfectly okay. My opinion obviously degraded me to the level of a primitive Neanderthal with no style in her eyes.

 

For the next hour or so, she had made Duo to her personal dressing mannequin. Going through his wardrobe and shaking her head at the limited amount of clothing she was forced to work with, she ordered Duo to put on this and that and this too, then kept pushing him in front of herself through the door and down the corridor into the living room where I was waiting to pass my judgment.

 

Too tight... too much skin... too much leather... With each of my decisions Relena´s eyes grew narrower and narrower and her foot was tapping faster and faster. Duo kept silent, looking as if he would rather be somewhere else and the farther away, the better. But I couldn´t help it. I will NOT allow Duo to walk around with his stomach naked or his pants riding so low on his hips that the crack of his ass was almost winking at me merrily! NO.WAY.IN.HELL! Over my dead body! Buried and eaten by worms!

 

It took her over an hour to find the right thing that left me almost cheering - if I would lower myself to cheer - loud. When I nodded and gave her the thumbs-up gesture, she left her hands sit on her hips and raised her eyebrow.

 

"Heero, bear, you *do* realize that he has his brother´s ten years old track suit on?" She was talking slowly and her voice was calm and low as if talking to an idiot.

 

I blinked and let my eyes run over my best friend´s body - from the tips of his toes that were almost lost in the folds of the too long pants to his blushing face from which I could see only his freckled nose and the large violet eyes because the rest was hidden behind the sickly green garment´s high neck. The worn knees and elbows I won´t even mention. I shrugged.

 

"Relena, he is searching for Mr. Right not a one-night-stand - which I wouldn´t allow anyway! Duo won´t be touched by anybody who doesn´t find him adorable even wearing a pink tutu and bunny ears!"

 

Unfazed by their incredulous faces and bulging eyes, I  - the self-appointed guardian of Duo´s virginity - crossed my arms over my chest and nodded to myself. My way or the high way.

 

I wonder if they still sell chastity belts these days.

 

TBC