Short Stuff
by KatiKat
"God, Iīm so horny!" Duo moaned as he slipped into the seat in the
booth where his friends already made themselves comfortable and dropped his
head on the table. It landed there with a thump that made his friends wince.
"I gather that your date didnīt go well, then?" the tall, long-haired
blond said casually, hiding his smirk behind a cup of strong, hot coffee.
Black, without sugar.
Duo didnīt bother to raise his head. "You are such an observant guy,
Zechs," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Nothing seems to
escape you."
Another blond man, not as tall as Zechs but stil a giant in the braided manīs
eyes, patted Duoīs shoulder. "Oh, Duo, Iīm so sorry." His voice was
full of sincere regret. "I know that this time you held out such
hope..."
Duo raised his hand and waved it, his head still lying on the hard wood.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, Quat." He let his hand drop, then sighed.
"Why canīt I just find a nice-"
"Hey, midget. No luck again, huh?" The cheery voice interrupted Duoīs
whining.
This time Duo did raise his head, only to glare at the waitress, who stopped by
their booth, chewing her gum and grinning openly. "Who are you calling a
midget, Hil?"
The girl blew a big bubble, then popped it. "Oh, I think a friend of mine
who is... what? Half a foot shorter than me, a mere girl?"
Duo groaned and let his head fall onto the table with a thud.
"That was low, darling," said the grinning brown-haired man, probably
the oldest of the small group.
"Was not, Treize," she retorted, then patted her best friend on the
head. "He's a midget and will stay a midget, so itīs time he got used to
it." Duoīs hand shot up and he swatted Hilde away, the dark-haired girl
just smiled at him merrily, though. "So, what was he? The stool or the ladder
category?"
Duo sighed, raised his head and dropped it into his palms. "Stool AND
ladder."
"You poor thing..." she cooed. "That bad?"
"Yeah, when I tried to hug him, I feared his dick would poke out my
eye," he answered with a disgusted snort. "Arenīt there any
normal-sized guys out there anymore?"
"We ARE the normal-sized guys," said the long-banged boy in the
corner and pointed a half-eaten fry at Duo. "Itīs you who got the short
end of the stick during puberty... no pun intended...maybe."
Duo snorted and didnīt deign Trowaīs comment worth an answer. "I mean, I
tried everything and even the blind dates failed. If I wasnīt so horny, I would
have just given up already!"
"Then why donīt you look around, sugar?" Hilde asked, pouring them
all another mug of coffee.
"Yeah? And where if I may ask?" he turned to her.
She rolled her eyes and waved the hand that held the coffee pot around, coming
dangerously close to scalding the guests sitting around. "Well, you ARE in
Howardīs Gay Grill, after all."
Duo sighed. True. Howardīs Gay Grill was THE refuge of all gays in the town,
but so far he didnīt have any luck even here. Even Howard - a sixty year-old
flower child, that still lived in the Woodstock era - gave up on him already.
Completely lost in his thoughts, he almost didnīt hear the bell on the door
jingle. Just like always though, he reacted automatically and turned around to
see if MAYBE this time his Prince Charming was waiting at the door. And he
almost toppled from his chair because...
There, at the door... the most beautiful, the most exotic, the most sexy... the
shortest guy he had ever seen stood. He felt his jaw hit the floor.
"Oh. My. God," Zechs said, his eyes bulging. "I have seen a
miracle and can die happy."
"What? What?" Everybody looked around then to the door where Zechs
was pointing.
"There IS someone shorter than Duo in the world after all."
The Japanese man moved from the door to the bar where Howard was polishing the
glasses and had a word with the old man. Howard pointed toward their table and
the young man in a blue shirt and blue cap bearing the logo of some company
headed to their table.
Quatre nudged his friend in the ribs. "Here comes your chance...
literally," he added in a hushed voice.
Duo would have rolled his eyes at him, if he wasnīt so busy drooling and
disrobing the exotic man with his eyes. And when sex on legs stepped to him and
opened his mouth to actually address him, Duo couldnīt believe his luck.
"Sir, could you..."
"Of course, I can!" Duo interrupted him, jumped to his feet and
pounced, sealing the otherīs lips with his own.
In the face of a horny Duo, the poor guy didnīt stand a chance.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*
It was much, much later when Heero, the object of Duoīs desire, admitted to his
lover that back then in the bar, he only wanted to ask if Duo could move his
car a bit since he had parked it right in front of the delivery entrance. But
after ten years together, a marriage in Canada, three dogs, two cats and one
gold fish... it really didnīt matter, did it?
The End