Nettles

 

by KatiKat

 

Tsuzuki walked down one of the paths in the garden of Enma-cho. The day was beautiful as usual in their world and the sakuras bloomed like they did every day since he could remember. He was dressed in a thin white cotton yukatta with a darker and warmer cloak thrown over his shoulders, his standard clothing since his disastrous fall-out with Muraki that ended with Hisoka and himself almost consumed by Toda's fire in his own desperate attempt to finally end his life. The burns had almost healed, a wonder of the Enma-cho medicine, but they still ached terribly when he moved incautiously and they itched as if he had fallen in a whole field of nettles.

 

And speaking of nettles, the reason why he had ventured out into the garden so early in the morning was that he went looking for a nettle of his own. When he woke up that morning, the second bed in his hospital room, Hisoka's bed, was empty. As it had been every day since he opened his eyes and realized he was still alive. It was obvious that Hisoka was avoiding him, doing his best to keep out of his way. So far, Tsuzuki hadn't done anything about it, going with the flow and letting things take their course as Tatsumi advised when Tsuzuki asked what he should do. But this tactic obviously was not working and Tsuzuki... he missed his friend.

 

He had almost given up since he had covered almost the whole garden, searched all Hisoka's favorite spots and finally - and reluctantly - admitted to himself that he was getting tired, not being in top form yet. But then he spotted the reclusive blond boy, sitting in the shade of sakuras by the pool. Breathing out in relief, Tsuzuki headed his way.

 

Coming closer, he called in a cheerful voice. "Good morning, Hisoka!"

 

The green-eyed boy jumped as if stung and glared at the newcomer. "What do you want?" he growled.

 

Tsuzuki frowned, putting on his best mask of hurt innocence. "I've been looking for you. You are always gone these days, leaving me all alone..." He sighed.

 

Hisoka turned away, twisting his mouth in a derisive grimace. "And here I thought you liked to be alone," he answered, his voice dripping with venom.

 

The older Shinigami blinked, genuinely confused. "Hisoka...?"

 

Hisoka kept sitting with his back turned to his partner.

 

Frowning, Tsuzuki scratched his head. "Are you... maybe... Why are you angry at me?"

 

Now the boy jumped to his feet, whirled around and stomped over to Tsuzuki. "How do you dare to ask me that?" he shouted, shoving his partner in the chest so that Tsuzuki stumbled two steps back. "How can you? How COULD you?" Hisoka kept screaming, his voice cracking as he shoved the now alarmed Tsuzuki in the chest again.

 

The older man reached out, puzzled. "Hisoka..."

 

Stepping away, Hisoka raised his hands in a defensive gesture. "Don't touch me. Never again."

 

Tsuzuki let his arms fall helplessly, watching his best friend with genuinely hurt eyes.

 

"You really don't understand, do you?" Hisoka whispered in a hoarse voice. "You really don't understand what you've done."

 

"Hisoka..."

 

The blond boy stepped closer again, raised his hands and started to hit his partner with balled fists in the chest. "You wanted to take it away!" he screamed, his expressive green eyes overflowing with tears. "You wanted to take my family away. You wanted to kill yourself and leave me all alone here. I would've been all alone again. Nobody would’ve been there. No idiot like you who can make everything better just by his stupid promises and dumb smiles."

 

Now deep sobs wrecked his body as he gripped Tsuzuki's yukatta in his fists. "You wanted to die and never thought of me." He raised his head and looked into Tsuzuki's violet eyes. "What about me, Tsuzuki?" He shook his partner. "What about me?!"

 

The older Shinigami stared into the green eyes of his younger friend, his heart clenched with deep pain. He didn't feel any of the physical aches Hisoka's actions awakened because the real pain sat deep in his chest and mind where hands and knives and fire couldn’t reach. He searched for words, for explanations that would make Hisoka understand but in the end... in the end it came down to only one thing...

 

And he whispered, raising his hands and laying them gently on Hisoka's tear-stained cheeks. "I stayed alive for you."

 

Hisoka cried out, hugging Tsuzuki tightly, hiding his face in the other's garb, and letting himself be hugged tightly in return. For everything they both felt was said in those five words. A wish fulfilled... desperation locked deep in the heart again...

 

Tsuzuki bent his head and kissing his partner's blond hair he laid his cheek on the top of Hisoka's head while he hugged him tight to his chest. "Everything for you," he added in a whisper and closed his eyes, feeling almost content for the first time in decades.

 

Because nettles, they don't just sting... they can also heal.

 

The End